Well thats over with now what do I do?
Random Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Well thats over with now what do I do?
Hmmmm, how to start this.... well might as well start with sober time just to give everyone an idea of where I am at.
So I am around 11 days sober, and have just yesterday finished a very stressfull week at work. That was one of the reasons for my sobriety but also I have been practising AVRT and made the decision to never drink again not to long ago. Now I face a different challenge, the weekend (play dramatic music now). I am having thoughts of drinking I would be remissed if I didn't say that, I do not however have any intention of entertaining them. The only problem now is what the hell else am I to do. I have been literaly living at work because I had things to do and there was nothing but beer for me at home. Now that I don't have work to keep me up till 0200 in the morning, I can very well go home but why? There is nothing for me to do there. The things that I had there that would occupy me all involved drinking and will not be nearly as entertaining sans alcohol. I am just hanging out at work where I have internet and things to do. I guess I need to start getting creative, drinking was an easy way to entertain myself, and it is really tempting at the moment just because I know it would be easy, I also know that it would ruin me. If I drank tonight I would be right back where I was two weeks ago in three nights. I know that so I am not going to drink, I just don't know what else to do so I am here reading posts and trying to think of something. I need friends that are more imaginitive then me darn it. I guess you all are it. If anyone has any ideas let me know.
So I am around 11 days sober, and have just yesterday finished a very stressfull week at work. That was one of the reasons for my sobriety but also I have been practising AVRT and made the decision to never drink again not to long ago. Now I face a different challenge, the weekend (play dramatic music now). I am having thoughts of drinking I would be remissed if I didn't say that, I do not however have any intention of entertaining them. The only problem now is what the hell else am I to do. I have been literaly living at work because I had things to do and there was nothing but beer for me at home. Now that I don't have work to keep me up till 0200 in the morning, I can very well go home but why? There is nothing for me to do there. The things that I had there that would occupy me all involved drinking and will not be nearly as entertaining sans alcohol. I am just hanging out at work where I have internet and things to do. I guess I need to start getting creative, drinking was an easy way to entertain myself, and it is really tempting at the moment just because I know it would be easy, I also know that it would ruin me. If I drank tonight I would be right back where I was two weeks ago in three nights. I know that so I am not going to drink, I just don't know what else to do so I am here reading posts and trying to think of something. I need friends that are more imaginitive then me darn it. I guess you all are it. If anyone has any ideas let me know.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Why not make a list of interesting things that you have always wanted to try?
My favorite hobby was learning how to fly private planes. classes in cooking.. gemology ..fine arts....whatever caught my fancy.
Volunteer work is so rewarding.
Here is a list compiled by SR members some time ago....hope it helps..
My favorite hobby was learning how to fly private planes. classes in cooking.. gemology ..fine arts....whatever caught my fancy.
Volunteer work is so rewarding.
Here is a list compiled by SR members some time ago....hope it helps..
150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking
1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.
__________________
1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.
__________________
Random Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
140 speak only in heroic couplets for an hour??? What the heck is that? But thanks for the list, I just posted on the newcomers forum trying to help someone that is having difficulty not drinking today and I said exactly what I needed to hear. It is strange that when trying to help others on this site I end up helping myself. I tend to address the people that are having the same issues, doubts, or negative thoughts as myself and through my answers or comments to them I learn from myself. I don't know if that makes any sense but I think I am going to find something to do regardless of what it is. I might go get some sushi, Mmmmm, sushi, it has been too long. After that decide on a few gmes of pool or go home and watch a movie. either way I have spent far to much time dreading going home and need to face that issue. Also I need to develop some kind of a social circule right now I have none.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by InsertNameHere
speak only in heroic couplets for an hour???
Sushi is an excellent idea. I love to get the raw quail egg on top yum!
Get out and explore your area. I'll bet there is cool stuff you aren't even aware of right near you.
Random Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Originally Posted by soberlicious 
Sushi is an excellent idea. I love to get the raw quail egg on top yum!
"Heaven, i'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak."
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by InsertNameHere
Quail egg on top of salmon roe, I have only one thought.
"Heaven, i'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak."
"Heaven, i'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak."
The Louis Armstrong/Ella Fitzgerald version of "cheek to cheek" is my favorite
Random Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Well I think that is the plan, I am antsy right now and would normaly like to go out in this situation so why the hell not. I am going to get some good food in me and maybe find a place to enjoy some music and a few games of pool. See if I can enjoy my old habits without drinking. The coolest part about it is I can drive myself, as taxi's are risky here and don't speak english, part of the reason I never went anywhere when I was drinking, couldn't drive and couldn't take taxis so I drank at home.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 325
Be careful going to drinking establishments in your state of mind. No reason to test your will power right now. Either you will be miserable sober at the bar or you won't stay sober. Sounds like a lose/lose to me.
Why don't you do something totally different than you normally do on weekend nights? There has to be something you've been putting off. Go exercise and do light workouts. Go celebrate by buying yourself something nice for being sober these 11 days. Call a friend or relative you haven't talked to in awhile. There are tons of things to do sober in and out of your house. Why stay home a dwell about drinking?
Why don't you do something totally different than you normally do on weekend nights? There has to be something you've been putting off. Go exercise and do light workouts. Go celebrate by buying yourself something nice for being sober these 11 days. Call a friend or relative you haven't talked to in awhile. There are tons of things to do sober in and out of your house. Why stay home a dwell about drinking?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
Be careful going to drinking establishments in your state of mind. No reason to test your will power right now. Either you will be miserable sober at the bar or you won't stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
Although I agree with your second paragraph, Nirvana, and no doubt you are trying to be helpful, you are, in effect, attacking his confidence to abstain. This is not something he can likely afford right now. The "R" in AVRT stands for recognition, not 'running away from', and willpower has little to do with it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
This is advice based on large sample size of what happens when newly sober people go to places centered around drinking. It has nothing to do with AA, RR or any other method. I feel it's better to point out the likely outcome of what really happens when you go against your better judgement and go out to bars/clubs when you're sobriety is not solid. I think most will attest to the being miserable and/or trigger to drink around bars in early sobriety. Plus if we were able to all of a sudden change our mindset and use will power, we wouldn't need a recovery program and support.
I've been following INH's progress and have every reason to believe that he will be just fine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
'I have zero issues with being in a bar or around drinkers. Maybe your "large sample size" was but a subset of the recovery community and did not include those recovered with AVRT?
I've been following INH's progress and have every reason to believe that he will be just fine.'
Shouldn't you, in the spirit of AVRT add forever to that last line? Arbitrarily setting your confidence that he is stopped not just for the evening in question, but for the rest of his life to 100%?
Hedging the smallest amount from that fullest degree of support could well be Beast activity, evidenced by a reluctance to believe and and unwillingness to state that he has your unqualified confidence.
Undermining his attempt to do this thing on his own willpower may lead to the usual results he's had in attempting to not drink throughout his adult lifetime to this point. We should help him through our posts believe it will be all different this time.
I've been following INH's progress and have every reason to believe that he will be just fine.'
Shouldn't you, in the spirit of AVRT add forever to that last line? Arbitrarily setting your confidence that he is stopped not just for the evening in question, but for the rest of his life to 100%?
Hedging the smallest amount from that fullest degree of support could well be Beast activity, evidenced by a reluctance to believe and and unwillingness to state that he has your unqualified confidence.
Undermining his attempt to do this thing on his own willpower may lead to the usual results he's had in attempting to not drink throughout his adult lifetime to this point. We should help him through our posts believe it will be all different this time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by langkah
Undermining his attempt to do this thing on his own willpower may lead to the usual results he's had in attempting to not drink throughout his adult lifetime to this point. We should help him through our posts believe it will be all different this time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
This is advice based on large sample size of what happens when newly sober people go to places centered around drinking.
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
I feel it's better to point out the likely outcome of what really happens when you go against your better judgement and go out to bars/clubs
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
I think most will attest to the being miserable and/or trigger to drink around bars in early sobriety.
Originally Posted by Nirvana1
Plus if we were able to all of a sudden change our mindset and use will power, we wouldn't need a recovery program and support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
TU, at this juncture we should just encourage INH, and not threaten him with how personally failed and morally repugnant he would become seen through the lens of RR should he drink again.
No one cares what avenues newcomers in AA have previously tried to fix themselves. It's rare when they haven't lined the pockets of at least a few sure-cure authors along the way.
I'm not against commerce at all, and for many drinkers self-help books are a useful exercise to them get reading anything at all again. Personally, I occasionally read through my copy of 'The Drinking Man's Diet' for many years.
My present favorite is a particular 'you absolutely can do this not drinking thing on your own' book written while the author was doing a few months in county jail after getting popped for drinking and driving. It's selling quite well on Amazon because of the obvious draw of it's theme.
He's definitely entitled to all the revenue generated by at long last finding the cure for alcoholism and writing it down, and getting the website going and all his efforts to help poor suffering alcoholics, no argument from me. Plus, writing that likely killed a long series of very long days for him.
Win-win.
No one cares what avenues newcomers in AA have previously tried to fix themselves. It's rare when they haven't lined the pockets of at least a few sure-cure authors along the way.
I'm not against commerce at all, and for many drinkers self-help books are a useful exercise to them get reading anything at all again. Personally, I occasionally read through my copy of 'The Drinking Man's Diet' for many years.
My present favorite is a particular 'you absolutely can do this not drinking thing on your own' book written while the author was doing a few months in county jail after getting popped for drinking and driving. It's selling quite well on Amazon because of the obvious draw of it's theme.
He's definitely entitled to all the revenue generated by at long last finding the cure for alcoholism and writing it down, and getting the website going and all his efforts to help poor suffering alcoholics, no argument from me. Plus, writing that likely killed a long series of very long days for him.
Win-win.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by langkah
TU, at this juncture we should just encourage INH, and not threaten him with how personally failed and morally repugnant he would become seen through the lens of RR should he drink again.
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