stillsleeping

... and I know it shouldn't make me angry, I mean, these guys are carrying A LOT of pain, and my heart goes out to them, and I'm glad they have a place in SR...

...but...

...it's left me so shaken I'm having trouble letting it go. I mean, my actual hands are shaking. It's a thread about things Normies wouldn't know about (idiot, didn't check the forum), and oh, man. They really, really can't stand us. And yeah, I know not one of them is talking about me personally, they're talking about the people that hurt them personally, but "normies"? Like, people who aren't us? You know, anyone who's not us?

Damn. I'm actually a pretty good person.

stillsleeping

... for example,

"Sad to think "normal" is our new dream guy after leaving an addict ha ha ha"

Ugh. This is really upsetting me...

doggonecarl

No, "normies" if I'm not mistaken, are those people who aren't like them...people who aren't living with chaos and pain of living with or loving an addict or alcoholic.

Similar to the way we use "Normal" on our side of the forum. When we talk about normal drinkers, we are taking about us, are we?

stillsleeping

Thanks Dog, I guess you're right. There's just so much ugh on there, I dunno. I guess I suddenly feel like a member of the most hated club on earth. Like there's this whole group of people out there that just hate all addicts and everything we've ever done. I've hurt people. But I've done shtloads of good things too...

I try to never read friends-and-family, I know we're the complete opposite ends of a spectrum that should never really have to meet, but this feels like a real kick in the teeth I wasn't expecting, you know?

Ugh. Crying at work is so lame...

InsertNameHere

Well now I want to read it, which thread is it?

stillsleeping

Hey Insert, it's called something like "things normies would never expect" or something - in todays threads, on pg2 last time I looked.
x

stillsleeping

... "things normies wouldn't know about"

Dog, you're right - normies are people that don't suffer from abusive AH or AW etc.

...but all of the "they" as in "they actually think we can't smell the booze on their breath"

I'm one of "them" now. And like I said, fair enough, F&F have A LOT to complain about. I just wish there was a warning for a fairly innocent and trying hard recovering alcoholoc to stay away...

doggonecarl

I go there a fairly often; it helps me to realize the pain I caused my loved ones and the potential hurt I'll cause if don't stay recovered.

As for hating the addict/alcoholic...no one hated me more than I hated and loathed myself for my drinking and drugging.

doggonecarl

What do you think someone from Friends and Families thinks when he or she reads a thread in our forum entitled "What was the stupidest thing you ever did while drunk" or "Ever do something extraordinary while drunk?"

They probably don't laugh.

Just have some consideration for what they are going through and hope you get the same from them. Don't take it personal. And as they say in the rooms, keep your side of the street clean and you'll be okay.

stillsleeping

Man, you're absolutely right. Cool, thanks Dog. Wise words. You always know what to say...
xx

suki44883

I am a double winner...both an alcoholic and a F&F of alcoholics. I don't begrudge those on the F&F one little bit for venting about what they are or have gone through. I know that I brought a ton of unhappiness to my loved ones with my drinking. If they can feel better by getting it out on a board with others who understand, then I say more power to 'em!

Sorry you are feeling badly, stillsleeping.

stillsleeping

Thanks Suki, more tearful. I hate feeling tearful, I'd rather be angry, can't be angry at a conversation you weren't supposed to have overheard...being held by a group of badly hurt and injured people who are just trying to pisck up the pieces after someone like me made them feel like crap.

Ugh. I might have to go pick a fight with someone. Where can I find someone big and mean?
xxx

doggonecarl

Bikers in Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Big and mean biker...a stereotype, I know, but I couldn't help it.

GirlFromCO

Carl, I'm with you. I was shocked a bit too when I first read that particular thread, but then I found I could not stop laughing. I did some really stupid things when I was drunk, and thank god at least some of my F&F are still here to see me triumph over that. I thought I was so clever... nope. I was just another drunken idiot. Those people have been through a LOT and I don't blame them at all for trying to find some humor in a bleak situation.

What shocks me most about threads like that one over in F&F isn't the stupid stuff we alcoholics do, it's that anyone is willing to continue loving us at all, LOL. I feel pretty lucky to have my f&f, and I'm pretty sure they've said some "funny cause it's true" stuff about me. I figure, if I don't like people talking about my dirty laundry I shouldn't have made any in the first place. People can still tell my stories if they want to, but now they have to add this on at the end "Well thank goodness she's been sober now for X amount of time"

I can't change the past, but the future is firmly within my control.

suki44883

stillsleeping

YOU GUYS ROCK!!!! Thanks all so much, I've gone from weeping gently over my laptop in an empty classroom (lonely, lonely places...) to giggling and feeling oh so surrounded by friends. Okay, I'm still cryin a bit, but I'm a girl - it'll take a few minutes to dry up.

Dog, I love you! Bikers = ace to fight. Big, hairy bikers Will pick a friendly with my big, hairy tattooed hubby when I get home - perfect.

Love you all
xxx

InsertNameHere

That was funny thanks for the laugh carl.

NYCDoglvr

Of all addictions, alcoholism is considered the worst because of what it does to other people. It kills people, destroys whole families not just the person drinking. They have every right to like and dislike whoever they please. But there's also recovery for codependents. You must take responsibility for yourself and admit your part in the problem. Why did you get involved with a heavy drinker in the first place and why did you stay? And, why do you find these people attractive?

Terminally Unique

That thread should be required reading, along with the "quackers" one.

• Quackers -
  
  
• Wouldn't know -

stillsleeping

Hia.

Do you mean the f&f guys or me? Cos I'm not co- , I'm an alcoholic. In recovery