Justfor1

I have an out of control family members on drugs so I read & post there sometimes. I thinks, sometimes, they believe that "hitting bottom" & facing enough consequences will sober the drunk up. I had many, many consequences & continued to drink/drug. Sadly, death is some peoples bottom. I also don't get why they feel safe when their loved one is in jail? The jail I been to was very dangerous. Ironically, alcoholics/addicts are the ones frequently getting taking advantage of by more serious violent inmates. My advise is if it really bother you maybe don't read those threads anymore?

NYCDoglvr

Active alcoholics often wreck havoc on people around them. People who are co-dependent hurt themselves by staying with them.

When I got sober two decades ago I had a lot of work ahead in dealing with character defects, including taking responsibility for everything I've said and done. It's hard but change is possible. Cognitive therapy and the steps of AA were the biggest help.

Justfor1

NYC, I have a friend who has been sober for almost 5 years yet his family still thinks he is drinking/using if he is sick. I told him thats their issue. I believe that when we sober up, we make amends & move on. The biggest issue I had getting sober was living in the past.

SOBERINNEPA

I stay away from the F&F forum. I know what I did when I was active and I know who I hurt. I also had major problems with deep shame early in sobriety. I can understand the anger the F&F folks have and I can't say it's misplaced or an invalid emotion. It's just something I can't spend time looking at. I'm making my amends, as best I can, and working on making my little corner of the world better. I pray they can find some peace.

Taking5

I visit the F&F forum regularly, it reminds me of what I might've done to hurt people but left off my 4th step. I also relate my experience as an alcoholic where it makes sense. I have zero problems there. There may be an occasional hater, but these folks have been to hell and back.

twolivestouched

I am sorry to have hurt anyone with the thoughts that I shared in that thread. I posted my few items because it is strange to think about all the little things that 'tell' me what (or who) I am coming home too. When I come home and see the blinds closed my heart sinks, because I know he is drunk. It was comforting to know that I was not alone.
I am sorry if the items shared there hurt you sleeping...you were the first person I 'spoke' to on this site and I certainly did not mean to upset you.
Hope your day got better.

Nirvana1

Some really great people are alcoholics and some really horrible people are not alcoholics. Yes, some of the great people do bad things because of drinking, but a lot of really bad relationships are with people who would be bad in relationships even if they were sober. Add drugs and alcohol to someone who is a jerk anyways and you end up with some really bad situations. Alcohol is not the complete blame for all of the misery, but obviously it makes many situations a lot worse.

GirlFromCO

HA! I hadn't seen the Quackers one before. Makes me so grateful to be where I am today. I remember saying that stuff - and believing it!! LOL

eJoshua

If I'm one of "them" I'm happy to be so. I don't much care for the opinions of those who judge me based on my past or aren't willing to own up to their own shortcomings. Everyone's got problems, my addiction and the consequences of it is just my cross to bear -- so to speak.

My heart does go out to those affected by addiction, don't get me wrong, but if someone wants to talk about me like I'm the red-headed step child? Forget about it.

sugarbear1

Quackers is priceless! and so very true!

Dee74

I love it when things get sorted out before I get here



D

BackToSquareOne

I loved reading the quackers thread. It shows that neither side really knows whats going on in the mind of the other side of the equation. The alcoholics very often think that they have PHD's in the art of deception, creative excuse engineering and all that. The other side sees right thru most of it tho, it's tolerated, not believed.

Those on the other side often view the alcoholic as a self centered, manipulator who is actually getting some kind of enjoyment out of the drinking escapades. The alcoholic in many cases functions with a tortured mind, they actually believe they need the alcohol to survive. Many live in a world of fear, made worse by the substance they treat it with. The alcoholic is actually a very sick individual but doesn't view him/herself as such. Like a coin the story has 2 sides.

Taking5

I wish every A and every F&F member would read this post.

TheEnd

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Some people live in the problem instead of the solution. It's just their way of blowing off steam. There is a reason why we have our space and they have their space. It's like me getting mad at somebody for doing something in their house. It's not my business.

Lily

I would just stay off that forum. Don't even go there. I am so thankful that my husband who is not an alcoholic addict never was that bitter. He for one thing was shocked when I outed myself to him I had been using. He NEVER even knew. (I have relapsed a few times in our marriage on pills) He never checked on me or suspiciously looked around. He loves me and prays for me but just trusts in God to take care of me and work out my own struggles.

Just keep on doing the next right thing.

Blessings, Lily

gaffo

That Quackers thread is HEAVY! I do spend some time in the F and F section. I find some tools there and a few more pieces for the puzzle. I'm more glad than ever that I don't drink right now.

Dee74

I think, if you don't like the kinds of things you read in other places, other threads or forums, the solution is obvious - and in own hands

time to move on, guys

D