Totally overwhelmed
 

What a friggin day! I had to stop working 2 years ago because of a bad heart. Lost my wife to cancer last June. 2 months ago my daughter left her husband, I think the world of this young man. Sitting in an empty house day in and day out, still grieving for my wife, and now grieving for my daughters broken marriage.
All three of these issues by themselves can and do kick in my compulsion to drink. Today I'm dealing with all three at once. There's an AA meeting in about 1/2 hr, but it's one I've never been to. I don't want to crack up in front of a bunch of strangers. Sooo, here I am. I'm coming up on 7 months sober (again), had 15 years when I lost my wife. I have not contributed much at all on here for quite a while, so I feel like a bit of a taker here asking you all to read my rant. Right now it just seems like my best option.
Questions, comments, and derogatory remarks ;) will all be appreciated.

Thanks,

Ron

I'm sorry things are so rough for you Ron.
If you think/know a meeting will help, why not go, crack up or no crack up?

Sometimes we need that human connection I think? :dunno:

D

******{Ron}}}} sorry things are so rough for you. I am not an AA'er and not good at giving advice for me hanging out here has been a life saver though. Just wanted to let you know I care.

I'm sorry for your pain Ron, there is so little I can say to make that go away. I hope the meeting goes better then you expect, and pray you get through this difficult time.

hugs Ron!! hang in there. tomrrow is a NEW sober day! don't throw away 7 months!! CONGRATS ON 7 MONTHS BTW that is AWESOMEEEEE~!!!!! :a122:

Hi ronf, I remember reading a lot of your posts. Sorry to hear you're feeling down, there aren't always words that can just wisk away the pain as you know. I understand how a big convergence of circumstances can bring on a type of depression that feeds on itself, I've been there. When I felt like that most advice seemed trite as it really changed nothing.

Prayer, faith, meditation, trying to keep busy, forcing myself to exercise. All the usual stuff helps but it takes time. Probably the worst thing to do is isolate when you're feeling down. Hang in there and stay strong, the universe turns as it will, we just get to go along for the ride.

Yeah a rough day. I wish it wasn't so. Good to see you sharing about what is going on. Good to know you want to do the right thing and preserve your 7 months. And that 15 years is in there somewhere too, you know?

Pain is a rotten thing. Good to know we can and do get past our worst pains. You're a good man, Ron. Don't feel bad about any rant. None of us has to be alone. Know you're not alone.

The compulsion will pass. I agree with Dee. Sometimes a human f2f is the next right thing to do?

Best to you, Ron.

Actually, I was wondering what happened to you after the relapse.

Sorry things don't seem to be going your way, but if you drink, then you will make things that much worse. As you know, you have no control over any of the things that have taken place, which is probably frustrating to say the least. All you have control over is whether you pick up that drink or not.

So I hope you do whatever you have to do, not to pick up that drink.

So sorry, Ron, to hear of your loss. I'm a grieving widow too - today is the anniversary of my darling husband's death. My daughter's relationship broke up at the same time, which was a double blow. She is with someone else who makes her happy though. I know the loneliness you're going through...it's just hell. I would recommend going to meetings though. They help with the loneliness. My very best to you.

Hang in there, it will pass.....

I'm sorry to read of your pain today too Sally.
You're not alone here - please hang in there :)

D

Hi Ron, I just wanted to offer my support & give you some positive energy.

I know you know this but its always a good reminder for me... There is nothing that alcohol cant make worse.

Take care, keep posting, sharing & stay close to your SR friends... we are always here for you my friend.

Cheers ~ NB

Rant away! We all have to deal with life's problems and some are more difficult than others. 7 months is great and I know that AA would understand if you needed a shoulder to cry on!

Ron, I hope you enjoy that new meeting.

One day at a time, first things first, Serenity Prayer.

Prayers to you and your family.

Bob R

Ron- so sorry for your tidings. Look around on SR- many many many of us have been thru tragic circumstances and have been able to do so clean and sober.

as far as cracking up in front of strangers. I learned to not be ashamed of my emotions [you are ONLY talking of undoing decades and decades of training]

We say: "you can't save your ass and your face at the same time...."

Hugs to you Ron.
Just glad that you came here to share instead of deciding to drink.
It will get better, it just takes time, hang in there. When you start to feel overwhelmed, keep busy, get outside and around people. Do anything, but drink.
How are you feeling now, did U decide to go to the AA meeting?

got any phone numbers? call someone and talk it out. it helps me.

grieving takes time. I know this.

Hugs & love sent to you,

Wow, now I'm overwhelmed by all your responses! Thank you all. I did not go to the meeting. As these things workout, I had two people I can lean on call me out of the blue. ;) Went to bed early, got some good sleep, feel much better now!
"you can't save your ass and your face too" LOVE IT! That's going in my book of wisdom.
To the lady that lost her husband, my heart goes out to you! We know people care and want to help, but if you haven't been there.............

Thanks again to ALL,

Ron

I do hope you will soon get back to regular AA meetings...:yup:

I'm glad you feel better. my thoughts and prayers are with you.