DayTrader

I've not limited ppl to specific rolls like that but like you said, I get YOUR point.

I've had a friend that became a sponsor, a therapist who became a friend and a sponsor who's more than just a guide through the 12 steps..... I've found that to be beneficial.

Sally1009

Elizabeth, my sponsor di the exact same thing to me. She made me do th BB Study, which I found very badly designed, and frankyl fundamentalist. When I cancelled one session she criticised me in a similar way, and I have decided to find a new sposor who will just be happy to go through the steps, and not penalise me if I miss a meeting, or like you, give me a hard time for choosing to do something critically importarnt for your future. Sponsors are supposed to give us hope and encouragement - not to patronise us and make us feel less than.

Mark75

Well this is the great thing about AA.

You want a close friend and a sponsor in AA? You can find that! You just want to get the obsession lifted and a spiritual awakening and get on with friends and stuff outside of AA, you got that too! Or both...

Neither is better, neither is worse, IMO.... Question is, what do you need?

I need two or three meetings a week. I need SR. I need to be honest with myself.

tmbg

As a single parent, I have to understand how life simply has to be the most important part of sobriety.

sugarbear1

Have you discussed this with your sponsor again? In a discussion? Like sober people talk?

Elisabeth888

Yes! We are all good now. I didn't mean to cause a stink here.

I really just want to be able to vent here when my sponsor gets on my nerves and then your feedback.

macknacat

you are not causing a stink [ ok- maybe posting on the AA board IS more appropriate] still- this has generated good topics. I never heard anyone question the need for long term sponsorship till Robby chimed in. Made me think i need to apply that " contempt prior to investigation" sentence from the BB

ok . my 2 cents: Yep, balance is important- if I discount my parenting in favor of doing the program , i am out of balance and am no longer sitting on the "winners" side of my personal program

If I have made a committment to do something and have not done that, then i must be willing to pay the consequences - and having a sponsor who is willing to call me on my lapses is an absolute gift. I know of no other way that this drunk/junkie could have acquired the 'muscle memory' to change my behavior without that constant accountability.

I have over 16 years of recovery. and I have a sponsor. One reason is that I sponsor other men and its nice to catch some resonance with someone else's "style" Another reason is that this guy now knows my complete and honest history. And . since i am still quite capable of rationalizing behavior he can call me out. "Itchy scratchy" but good.
Third- i picked my latest sponsor because he has dealt with relationship and grief issues which are looming large on my radar. He has done lots of Al-anon and CODA work. Cool.
And finally - he likes the message i bring to the table about how we learn to love ourselves. Says he wants what I have in that regard....