Is anyone else thankful to have been an alcoholic?
JEANS
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 132
I wish I hadn't gone down the alcoholic route but I can see where you are coming from. If it wasn't for going through such a bad time I would probably take things for granted today.
To come out of the other side of something like alcohol addiction is a massive acheivement. It's as if I've been beamed into another world and I'm seeing it all for the first time.
To come out of the other side of something like alcohol addiction is a massive acheivement. It's as if I've been beamed into another world and I'm seeing it all for the first time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 101
For me being an alcoholic isnt something that I can say I'm thrilled, nor upset with. It is what it is...I just have to deal with it. Putting to much resentment into something out of my control is only going to lead me back to drinking. Not gonna regret the past, nor shut the door on it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by mwstylee 
I know this sounds sick, but I'm pretty grateful that I've been an alkie. I'm 13 days sober and I can guarantee you without a single doubt that I would not be able to look at life in this light, if I hadn't lived in the depths of hell for those years of daily drinking. Being sober makes colors look so much brighter, nature looks more amazing, and I find it so easy to be grateful for the small things. I can't stop thinking to myself "it feels so ****ing great to be sober and alive today!!!"
I appreciate life so much more because I've seen how things are from the other side. And it's not pretty at all, btw. I get so much joy out of a simple thing like a walk through the woods near my home, or waking up on time, or doing my taxes on time. The people around me see this stuff as so mundane, normal, blah, but damn, this is some amazing **** happening, I'm happy to be experiencing it!
I appreciate life so much more because I've seen how things are from the other side. And it's not pretty at all, btw. I get so much joy out of a simple thing like a walk through the woods near my home, or waking up on time, or doing my taxes on time. The people around me see this stuff as so mundane, normal, blah, but damn, this is some amazing **** happening, I'm happy to be experiencing it!
well I pray you stick to it. I'm not saying you will but it took me 3 years to finally reach how you feel. But in positive terms? I actually am thankful I'm an alcoholic. Because I didn't look at life this way as you do when I first didn't drink. Before I drank I hated life, didn't appreciate anything at all. Was always thinking about poor me when I was in high school and this and that. Still thought the same way as I drank it away. Then I joined AA and still didn't get the program or really cared. Then almost 7 months ago I drank so heavily it could have killed me had I gone one more day of drinking alcohol and I know I felt my body starting to overwhelm without food and water or sleep. I was close to death and I finally realized that I can't drink anymore. Ever since then I sobered up, fell in love and been myself... well more of a new self. I don't think selfish thoughts anymore and I love life to the fullest and have moved on from the poor me thoughts of the bullying days. I even use to get mad at little things now I don't. So yes I am very thankful because honestly, it was made me grown up alot more. I always use to keep to myself never spoke to anyone... probably one of the main reasons why I was called a stalker and a loner everyone didn't understand me before. Now I LOVE talking to new people and I have expanded my program to helping others by giving advice and courage.
Last night for instance we had a newcomer show up to our meeting and she looked about my age 27 and my sponsor guided her to me lol told me to keep her company so I did and she asked in a very shy tone if she could ask the speaker questions right now and I told her she couldn't sadly until the meeting was over. Also it was a very little gesture but she asked where the washroom was and I told her and she thanked me. She actually did very well for her very first meeting she had her last drink 2 nights ago. Anyways I guess she comfortable with me despite the fact after the speaker was done the females spoke to her because it needs to be same gender when coming to a newcomer asking questions. She said bye to everyone and left and I didn't have a chance to say bye either because I was helping clean up/ She walked out then a few minutes later she came back and came up to me and said bye Chris and thanks! I smiled and said bye to her too and shook her hand and told her to come back to the meetings and she nodded and smiled. I have a feeling she'll be back and she may be getting herself into aa just in time like myself because when I went to my first meeting I didn't smile and ask questions or look anyone in the eyes I just was like there and not really at the same time. SO YES I am thankful I'm an alcoholic because thanks to aa it has changed me for the better good.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by THEOjibway
well I pray you stick to it. I'm not saying you (WONT STAY SOBER FROM NOW ON) but it took me 3 years to finally reach how you feel. But in positive terms? I actually am thankful I'm an alcoholic. Because I didn't look at life this way as you do when I first didn't drink. Before I drank I hated life, didn't appreciate anything at all. Was always thinking about poor me when I was in high school and this and that. Still thought the same way as I drank it away. Then I joined AA and still didn't get the program or really cared. Then almost 7 months ago I drank so heavily it could have killed me had I gone one more day of drinking alcohol and I know I felt my body starting to overwhelm without food and water or sleep. I was close to death and I finally realized that I can't drink anymore. Ever since then I sobered up, fell in love and been myself... well more of a new self. I don't think selfish thoughts anymore and I love life to the fullest and have moved on from the poor me thoughts of the bullying days. I even use to get mad at little things now I don't. So yes I am very thankful because honestly, it was made me grown up alot more. I always use to keep to myself never spoke to anyone... probably one of the main reasons why I was called a stalker and a loner everyone didn't understand me before. Now I LOVE talking to new people and I have expanded my program to helping others by giving advice and courage.
Last night for instance we had a newcomer show up to our meeting and she looked about my age 27 and my sponsor guided her to me lol told me to keep her company so I did and she asked in a very shy tone if she could ask the speaker questions right now and I told her she couldn't sadly until the meeting was over. Also it was a very little gesture but she asked where the washroom was and I told her and she thanked me. She actually did very well for her very first meeting she had her last drink 2 nights ago. Anyways I guess she comfortable with me despite the fact after the speaker was done the females spoke to her because it needs to be same gender when coming to a newcomer asking questions. She said bye to everyone and left and I didn't have a chance to say bye either because I was helping clean up/ She walked out then a few minutes later she came back and came up to me and said bye Chris and thanks! I smiled and said bye to her too and shook her hand and told her to come back to the meetings and she nodded and smiled. I have a feeling she'll be back and she may be getting herself into aa just in time like myself because when I went to my first meeting I didn't smile and ask questions or look anyone in the eyes I just was like there and not really at the same time. SO YES I am thankful I'm an alcoholic because thanks to aa it has changed me for the better good.
Last night for instance we had a newcomer show up to our meeting and she looked about my age 27 and my sponsor guided her to me lol told me to keep her company so I did and she asked in a very shy tone if she could ask the speaker questions right now and I told her she couldn't sadly until the meeting was over. Also it was a very little gesture but she asked where the washroom was and I told her and she thanked me. She actually did very well for her very first meeting she had her last drink 2 nights ago. Anyways I guess she comfortable with me despite the fact after the speaker was done the females spoke to her because it needs to be same gender when coming to a newcomer asking questions. She said bye to everyone and left and I didn't have a chance to say bye either because I was helping clean up/ She walked out then a few minutes later she came back and came up to me and said bye Chris and thanks! I smiled and said bye to her too and shook her hand and told her to come back to the meetings and she nodded and smiled. I have a feeling she'll be back and she may be getting herself into aa just in time like myself because when I went to my first meeting I didn't smile and ask questions or look anyone in the eyes I just was like there and not really at the same time. SO YES I am thankful I'm an alcoholic because thanks to aa it has changed me for the better good.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I've had a number of extremely painful experiences in my life. Alcoholism. A raging eating disorder. The loss of my father when I was young. A divorce. My feelings about these things are complex. I would be less than honest if I said I have fond memories of the pain these things caused me, or if I claimed not to regret the pain my own actions have caused others. But I don't wish these things never happened, because that would be wishing my life away as well as the lessons that I (and yes, others) have learned from those experiences.
I don't place alcoholism in any special category when I think of these things. Frankly, in retrospect, the ED was a lot more senseless and painful, and took a lot longer to recover from.
I don't place alcoholism in any special category when I think of these things. Frankly, in retrospect, the ED was a lot more senseless and painful, and took a lot longer to recover from.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Some days when I am feeling REALLY good I think that I am glad I am an alcoholic because being I really appreciate things just being ok, and I feel good seeing how far I have come.
However, I really did waste a lot of time and I missed opportunities that won't come around again. I don't know.....it is what it is. I am just trying to do the best I can. However, bottom line: no, I think I could have had a fuller more peaceful life without my addictive personality. I also don't like the idea that someday I could relapse again....I don't want to with all my heart, and I will do everything I can to prevent it, but I have seen too much to think it isn't possible. And that scares me.
However, I really did waste a lot of time and I missed opportunities that won't come around again. I don't know.....it is what it is. I am just trying to do the best I can. However, bottom line: no, I think I could have had a fuller more peaceful life without my addictive personality. I also don't like the idea that someday I could relapse again....I don't want to with all my heart, and I will do everything I can to prevent it, but I have seen too much to think it isn't possible. And that scares me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
I may have emerged stronger from the experience, but I am neither thankful nor grateful for it. I don't view my 'sobriety date' as a birth or a cause for celebration, but rather as the death of a former life. Instead of celebrating with balloons and cake, as with birthdays, I think it would be far more fitting to wear black for the occasion, as with funerals. That part of me is buried, and buried it shall remain.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
I may have emerged stronger from the experience, but I am neither thankful nor grateful for it. I don't view my 'sobriety date' as a birth or a cause for celebration, but rather as the death of a former life. Instead of celebrating with balloons and cake, as with birthdays, I think it would be far more fitting to wear black for the occasion, as with funerals. That part of me is buried, and buried it shall remain.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
I'd have not made most of the important choices I made at decision points I'd have never come to had I not been alcoholic. I wouldn't be where I am doing what I'm doing with the people around me I have if I were a normal drinker.
I'd likely not have seen the places I've seen or had the highs and lows of seeing how the chances I've taken played out.
Other people and experiences would have taken their places, but how could I know if that would be better? It would be another life with it's own good and bad stuff, not the one I know.
Am I grateful for my ears, or my knees, or my bloodtype?
Might as well be, since they're what I have and are all I've known.
I'm the sum of what I am on the physical level, who I've been in the past, who I am now, and my possibilites for the future. Part of each aspect and all that is being alcoholic, and I can't separate that part from the rest.
If I'm grateful to be at all, then it follows that I'm grateful to be alcoholic.
I'd likely not have seen the places I've seen or had the highs and lows of seeing how the chances I've taken played out.
Other people and experiences would have taken their places, but how could I know if that would be better? It would be another life with it's own good and bad stuff, not the one I know.
Am I grateful for my ears, or my knees, or my bloodtype?
Might as well be, since they're what I have and are all I've known.
I'm the sum of what I am on the physical level, who I've been in the past, who I am now, and my possibilites for the future. Part of each aspect and all that is being alcoholic, and I can't separate that part from the rest.
If I'm grateful to be at all, then it follows that I'm grateful to be alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Sapling
I have to ask you TU...How can that be the death of a former life without having your new life being born?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
Absolutely!!! I would have NEVER realized the twisted way my brain thinks without working a recovery program. I feel the opportunities I missed out on, I would have totally ruined in the "my way" of thinking anyway. There will be new ones in my future and I am better equipt to live them!!
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
No I am not thankful to be an Alcoholic,which for me is a posh word ,I always thought of myself as a drunk.
I most certainly would not be thankful if I was to ever pick up again.
I put my family through hell,the longer I am sober the more I see the devastation an Alcoholic causes the people closest to them.
I most certainly would not be thankful if I was to ever pick up again.
I put my family through hell,the longer I am sober the more I see the devastation an Alcoholic causes the people closest to them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Sapling
That would take me back to when I was 12...I'll stick with the "reborn" handle...
I would even go so far as to say that I learned how to survive under circumstances where others would easily perish. What was missing was my moral conscience, my sense of right and wrong, which was instilled in me by the age of 7, but which was washed away by the addictive mandate. When I popped out of my addiction, my moral conscience was rebooted, so to speak, and I became perfectly capable of navigating my way in the civilized world -- the world of humanity -- once again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Try thinking about what some of you are saying as an outside objective observer. "You're glad that truely horrific things became part of your life because they led you to recovery." What about all the good things that could have been that never came to pass because of your addiction, are you glad for all of that too? It may have left you with a couple of positives and an extra serving of insight but it took away a hell of a lot more.
Finding the good in truely horrific circumstances is a remarkable human quality. What other species would go to war blow tons of things up then spend untold resources rebuilding what they just got done blowing up. Only human beings could come up with ideas like that.
I guess you could lose your sight and have your other senses grow stronger but would you revel in losing your sight?
Finding the good in truely horrific circumstances is a remarkable human quality. What other species would go to war blow tons of things up then spend untold resources rebuilding what they just got done blowing up. Only human beings could come up with ideas like that.
I guess you could lose your sight and have your other senses grow stronger but would you revel in losing your sight?
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