checkmate1

I have a friend who did 5 months hard time. We drank and drugged together from about last year. We got 6 months sober time last year and he was a good wingman in that regard too. He's lost I'm defintely lost we should be dead. He was a close friend also when I was about 17-18 years old I'm 31 now. I moved away and blocked everyone in my life who were a negative influence on me. I have done well by myself and my family for a month and a half haven't seen or heard from my mate in about 4 months because he got a girlfriend. They broke up now he's back to be my number 1 wingman if I choose. Problem is he steals from me (can't prove it) uses maybe needles (can half prove it because my brother found a needle) borrows my possessions and gives them back relunctantly when forced too. But overall a good bloke and sticks by me. He broke up with his gf and all of sudden contacts me on fb I don't know what to do I don't have many friends and he is good company and don't now weather to let him know where I live because there is a great chance he will ruin everything I have worked for and steel my possessions a great friend? I know. Where to from here?

Scolova

Last I heard of my old, addict friend that he was not in a good place mentally and of course wanted to hang out again. I'm 40 now and I know, without a doubt he is up to the same old thing (just like the things you've mentioned). He's a hopeless user that talks the biggest game in the world, but I know when the going gets tough (right now for me in recovery) he would sink the knife in and twist.
Had some great times hanging out in the past, but that's over for me... It's your call, but unless you know (without a doubt) that he's has given up that old life you will be bringing all that and more back into your life. And 'they' can dig into your world like an Alabama tick.

Best wishes.

MsJax

Checkmate, I know it's tough & I know he's your friend but once I got sober, I had to ask myself "is this person really good for me, really a friend or not?". The thing is, it sounds like he may not be . Not only in regards to maintaining sobriety, but the theft issue. Too many coincidences. Also the fact that it sounds like you may not hear from him except when he is having troubles, eg: now he has broken up with his gf.

I know for me, my sobriety has to come first, as my whole life depends on that.

Very best wishes to you

hereigo

checkmate...

My very best friend is a heroin addict. Even as much as I truly do love him as my "brother", I now try to keep him at bay. Although we really used to enjoy hanging out together and throwing darts, talking about our lives, I see that his influence is dangerous, when he is around. He is a life-long junkie. You could not ask for a nicer or more intelligent person than he is, but I cannot hang with him anymore.

He is my best friend (although I have never done injectables). Being around him makes me want to party, so I cut him out of my life. I still send him a card now and then, to let him know that I care about him.

Life goes on. And, I miss my best friend. But the clarity in abstinence is revealing so much goodness...

It hurts to not have him in my life anymore. But I am seeing so many good things come up as a result of not drinking!

Impurrfect

(((checkmate))) - My last bf was someone I loved, had great times with (sometimes)...and used with. I realized that even though I had left him, gotten clean, ended up seeing him again? I made really, really bad decisions around him. My relapse ended when I realized he was always going to be thinking of crack first.

I don't have a lot of friends, most of mine are online, but I just have no desire to be around someone who wants to "party". Maybe it's because I've gotten almost 5 years in recovery, but no matter how "great" a person is, no matter how long I've known them, if they're into something I don't need to be around? I keep a healthy distance. It doesn't mean I give up on them, or even that I never speak to some of them - I do....on the phone or on FB, but that's as far as it goes.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

DayTrader

Check....

Be careful with whom you associate...... you already know that though.

I did NOT cut out everyone from my life that I knew was using or drinking...some of those ppl I still hang with - but on a limited basis. If I feel a "draaaag" on my sobriety, I make my exit. Some of those folks I've been able to influence positively.......others, not so much. For the not so much folks.....I need to be mindful that they can be counterproductive to my program of recovery.