jason14

My drinking binges have caused many problems in the last year, including rehab. My last binge, I was living in on the west coast. My friends and family basically moved me across the country to the east coast to get me out of that environment. I have been living with a family member for a few months, and everything was going well and I was starting to build a life here with two jobs, lots of friends, and I am moving to my own place in a week, which I am very excited about. Unfortunately, I went on a binge last week that got me got kicked out of my family members house. I am now staying at a friends place until I move in to my own in a week. I now have a few family members telling me my only living options is to move back across country and live with them, or stay with a friend. I am excited to keep building this new life, but I know I have hurt and worried them. I have allowed them to make decisions for me before. Because I hurt them, which I acknowledge, have a lost my right to make decisions on my own? Part of it is also I dont want anyone to feel like they are babysitting me, or have them worry. Can I move on with my life, or live the life family decides for me? What is the right thing? thank you.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

I don't have binge drinking experience. Just wanted to say "Glad you are here!"

Someone may help you out soon. Besides moving, what else are you doing to stay stopped from binging; any program or counseling? It might help ya.

Stick around!!

macknacat

when my binges became serious enough to eventually land me in rehab , i recognized i had a REAL problem! went to my first AA meeting. been going to them [and NA] ever since. Have NEVER regretted that decision.

16 yrs clean/sober

Sapling

Welcome Jason...I don't think it matters what coast you live on or who you live with...Sounds to me like you need to get alcohol out of your life..A sure way to make everybody happy including yourself..Are you open to any kind of Recovery program?...Rational Recovery..AA..SMART...Lifering to name some....It sounds like you have a problem...These are all ways people have solved that same problem...Welcome to the site...Look around..Do some reading and ask some questions..Glad you're here..

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

Why rush into a long distance move just now? You have jobs and a new place in a week....sounds promiseing.

"No matter where you go....there you are"

I too hink suggest you hook into a local recovery group...not only those on line...but real live people in a room.talking about not drinking.
That is where I found new sober friends...in AA...
We do all sorts of sober activities outside of meetings.

All my best

Firehazard

I have taken manyof these both drinking and not and once I finally settled down and shared my experience with others I was told something I needed to hear.

"Geographicals have nothing to do with geography"

the problem always moves with me you see because I know now I am the

problem.

Taking5

Staying sober is a state of mind and attitude, not some lattitude/longitude points on a map.

As far as moving or the "geographical cure", as a buddy in AA once said: There should be a sign at the state line that says "The whiskey and cocaine will **** you up in this state too".

jason14

Sorry guys, I think my first question was a bit confusing. Bottom line is, should I let the people who I hurt and worry, make the decisions in my life? Have I lost the privilege to make them on my own? Thanks for all the input!

Sapling

I would guess only you can answer that...

laurie6781

Well only you can really answer that question. Sounds like you are getting a resentment as their ideas of what your life 'should' or 'could' be are different than yours.

How about starting a journal and writing in it. Then find a sponsor, talk with your counselor in Rehab long and hard and see what their opinions are about your 'plans' for your life and share your journal with them.

You will get honest answers of what their opinions are, and they are NOT related to you in any way,

I can honestly say that in my early recovery, the first 3 to 5 years, I looked to my sponsor and her hubby for many things, especially when I had to make a decision about anything that would affect my life. They too were not 'blood relatives', had been LIVING the 12 steps for a LONG TIME, and I RESPECTED their opinions.

It was when I was about 3 years sober, that my family, having watched my actions for those 3 years finally started to trust me and accept that the decisions I was making were correct for me. They didn't have to agree with them, and there were many that they didn't but they did ACCEPT that it was best for me at that time.

So talk with your sponsor, if you don't have one it may be time to get one, even if they are only a 'temporary' one for now. Talk to your counselor at the Rehab, show him/her your journal, and discuss this honestly with your counselor, and I do believe you will come away with the answer to your question.

J M H O

Love and hugs,