whenartdeparts

I had 7 weeks of sobriety and then I just relapsed. I've tried AA, AVRT, SMART recovery, I even tried spirituality...nothing seems to work.
It's almost like my Higher Power wants me to stay drunk.
I went to my G.P and got checked, he said my liver was mighty fine, but I had the heart of a 60 year old woman. I'm 22.

The reason I have not posted in a while is... because last time I did, some people were not very nice to me.

So this time, if you have nothing positive to say, don't say anything at all.

Taking5

Most of us relapse, some several times. Try again.

Fandy

welcome back. hope you are feeling better physically and can take what your doctor said and use it to help yourself.

whenartdeparts

I'm tired of relapses. Literally, tired.

Dee74

Good to see you again whenartdeparts - sorry you're struggling tho.

I used to think that too - maybe God's abandoned me - but I don't believe in that kind of God anymore

Really what it was for me is I had no faith in sobriety, no faith in me being able to face life without alcohol..

I was scared to make the leap - but eventually I wore myself down - whatever recovery held for me it had to be better than drinking - and it was....and I faced life sober and survived.

The method is really secondary to the commitment in my opinion - if you commit to not drinking and commit to doing whatever it takes to keeping that commitment, you'll move forward.

I really hope, however you decide to get there, that this can be your time whenartdeparts

D

DarkDays

So was I , rinse and repeat of sober stint and relapse, until I realised its only me that can end it and no one else.

You can do this, get through the early part for the last time ever then its onwards and upwards !

sugarbear1

What did your doctor say about quitting drinking?

Sapling

Welcome back..It's a great place....Can I ask you how long you tried AA?...I mean...If you got as far as getting a sponsor to guide you through the book and the steps?...I don't know much about SMART or AVRT...I do know AA can work...With the right direction...I didn't think there was any way possible for me to stop for good...Then I found someone to show me there was.

whenartdeparts

no, I just attended 1 meeting and thought it was enough. Silly me...
I felt mighty fine for 7 weeks, my life was going well, I achieved my goals
Then all of a sudden I started hearing this inner voice in me: "You must get drunk now. Just 2 beers. It won't matter."
2 beers turned into 12 beers very easily. And 2 weeks turned into a binge-fest.
February turned into March.

Sapling

There is a lot more to it than that...If it was that easy...This wouldn't be a problem...It takes some work...The hardest part for me was getting completely honest with myself...And for the first time in my life...Listening to someone else and following directions..It worked.

Db1105

Just showing up for any recovery method does not work. They are all programs of action. Since you tried them all. Decide which program you want to work and work it.

Terminally Unique

You are quite right, whenartdeparts — nothing works. I'm deadly serious, BTW. I would encourage you to forget the notion that something will work on you and fix your problem, much as an aspirin might work on a headache. If you want to beat this thing, that dangerous idea, propagated by the addiction treatment industry, is the first thing that has to go.

You've been around for a while, so I won't lecture you beyond this, and leave the rest to you. If you want some clarification on AVRT, however, there is an ongoing thread in the secular connections forum that should help. Either way, I hope you find your peace.

totfit

I also tried everything and continued to slip and side. I honestly could not tell you what the differece is now and why I have no desire to go back to drinking, when the harder I tried earlier in life I could just not stay stopped. Honestly, drinking just seems to be nonsense to me now. I think that before I was always working so hard at all these "thinks" I needed to do that I was just overlooking the simplicity of the fact that drinking never worked, never will work and that I really just needed to get on with life and find something else to do. I really think that regardless of any type of program or not, that one just needs to internalize the fact that drinking is nonsense. Not awfulize the consequences or or how terrible it is going to be as that gives drinking some "power". I just make the decision not to drink because it doesn't make sense and I get on with life and try to live it to the fullest.

Sapling

Welcome totfit...I admire people that can do that...Maybe because I tried so many times and couldn't...I needed outside help...I hope you wouldn't mind if I asked...And you don't have to answer if you don't want to....How long has this worked for you?...Just stopping on your own like that.

least

I tried and failed over and over from the time I joined until a year and a half later. At that point I'd had enough and gave it my all and succeeded. Over two years now and going strong. But many times along the way I feared I would drink myself to death since i couldn't seem to stay sober. But I did and so can you. and

susanlauren

No matter what program you choose, you are going to have to give it your all. A single meeting, reading a book, attending a class, a few therapy sessions, posting on line, writing out costs and benefits, etc. ... none of that is going to suffice. What is needed is consistent sustained persistent action. Try again and wholeheartedly take the actions suggested of you by whatever recovery program you use. Susan

Sapling

I think this should be posted somewhere...permanently...