The struggle
 

I fell off the wagon in dramatic style last night. Not long ended it with my girlfriend of two and a half years and suddenly booze seems like a friend again. I'm not a daily drinker anymore, my days of non stop drinking have thankfully gone but i do struggle everyday with the thought that i want to get smashed :/ My life is a million times better without booze but still i let it back in. Spent close to 100 pound last night and what did i get for it? Pain and suffering. Really really want to totally stop drinking, been kidding myself for years that i can drink 'normally' but it ends up with failure and pain every time. Just wanted to get it off my chest really and hope i can draw strength from people on here. Cheers for reading.

Welcome to SR Cardifflad :)

D

Hello, and welcome. Drinking brought me to my knees until I realized I couldn't drink like a normal non-alcoholic drinker.

What works well for me, is to think that first drink through till the end and the pain, misery and anxiety that brought with it.

You'll find lots of support here. Many people find a program, like AA, helps them.

I do hope you can overcome alcohol. Many of us have.

Best to you.

Think of it this way: If it helps you recommit to a sane and happy life, best hundred pounds you ever spent!

Don't beat up on yourself; it's a new day. How can you make it the best day of your life so far?

Sorry about the breakup; there's a new girl out there somewhere and you need to meet her sober. :)

Thank you for your kind words. Going to drag my carcass out of bed and walk off some self pity. :c021:


Today is the beginning of the rest of my life :)

So, did drinking make it better? It's good to ponder this question the next time you're upset and thinking about drinking. In my opinion nothing ever gets so awful that drinking wouldn't make it worse.

Total opposite, i ended it but now emotionally I'm all over the place. To move on with my life i need to be sober and in control.

I'm glad you came on here and got that off your chest. It's good to share these things with others.

I have been there before too and drank in order to deal with break ups.

As you have found out it just makes things so much worse. Lesson learned and time to move forward! Don't let anyone or anything threaten your sobriety. That's what I tell myself anyways...

Welcome cadifflad. Once we recognize the patterns we can start again.

Welcome to SR!

AA will be able to help you with that .

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

Decent sleep last night all things considered. Very good point about realising the signs, I realise them just need to learn to intervene. Longest I've gone in the last 10 years is 68 odd days. At the moment I'm struggling to go a week sober. Time to sort it.

Back to work tomorrow. Going to hit the gym hard. Better buzz than booze can ever give me.

Day five has come and gone and I'm starting to level out a bit now. Had a crazy panic attack this morning when my ex got in contact. Managed to control it, after crying in the toilet for a bit :/ Not something a shaven headed tattooed man admits normally but I'm out of bravado :/ Managed to get things off my chest with the ex and told her I never want to see her again. Finally some closure. To give a bit of background, she is bi polar and struggles with weed and cocaine. I hate drugs (yes I include alcohol in that). She wasn't willing to help herself and I can only just about help myself let alone someone else. So selfishly I suppose I ended it to concentrate on getting myself better. She treated me very badly so don't feel sorry for her, I'm not that mean that I'd leave for no good reason. Good to get that off my chest and I'm positive about my new sober life now . Hopefully find a woman that appreciates me. Thanks for reading. ,

I found joining the daily support thread very helpful when I started out. I assume Dee will have one up for March 12 in the main thread section. Many newcomers will join, and it is a great source of support for the major changes you are making. Keep up the good work!!

the March '12 thread is here CL

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2012-a-4.html

D

Welcome CL. Hope some light excersize does the trick in your case. If you need more, there's more.

I couldn't drink like a normal non-alcoholic drinker

I always struggle with sentiments like this, Because I think that most that drink alcohol are dependant on it at the very least.

The road begins here. It is hard and snaked but you'll meet plenty of fellow pilgrims to help you on your way right here.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone. Will take a look at that thread when I get some time :)