Music

Hi Theo. I celebrated 35 years this past Thursday. I say that only to say this. It's one thing to have an opinion about people and another thing to have an opinion about a program like AA which has saved so many lives in the past 75 or so years. People in AA are prone to making mistakes, errors in judgment and bad decisions....and I include you and myself in that description. People come to AA because they're not well, mentally, physically and spiritually and it takes time for things to change. Now, I'm not going to be the judge of how long it takes to get well; many people I've met seem to move reeeeeaaaly slow at the wellness process but isn't that what the Big Book says? Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. All I'm suggesting to you is to not be hasty about your decision. I understand how you feel and how disappointed you are. I stated above that I celebrated 35 years. I didn't say anything about sobriety. Sobriety is subjective in my opinion. I haven't had a drink in 35 years, however I have had mental, physical and spiritual relapes when I tried to go back to my old ideas and I found out the result was "nil" again. Some days the only thing I did right was not pick up that drink. Today I'm happier than I've ever been and my wife and I will be married 50 years this coming December....God willing, and through no fault of my own. We love each other and have forgiven each other for many transgressions that some other folks may not be able to deal with. I just hope that you'll pray about your decision before you do anything rash. I'm sure if you take a look at your 14 months you'll see spots her and there where you could have done things differently and other folks in AA deserve the sam scrutiny and forgivness. My mom and dad used to tell me "don't cut your nose off to spite your face." Think about that.

RobbyRobot

Awesome, Music. Thanks for being honestly human. A strong inspirational motivational share. Congratulations on your celebrations!!

blindsblinds57

dsmaxis10

I quit everyday a matter a fact I quit today, I'll be at a meeting tomorrow and quit again. Me I won't give up I have two days I had four years before and relapsed when I was in psychosis I have schizophrenia. No excuse because I stayed sober in psychosis before. I know what it's like to be upset with a sponsor. My first sponsor wasn't an alcoholic but a drug attack he never had a sponsor or worked the steps I didn't know this until years later and I was pissed. Until Buddha Bob told me That probally no one else would of sponsored me. Why because I wasn't stable the four years I was sober but have been the three years I have been relapsing which makes a good case this guy really had strong stuff. So if a sponsor can help me stay sober as a unstable schizo and I can't get a month by myself it proves when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Gottalife

This is an old thread. However I became very curious as to what happened after. I found this post..after this the news gets a lot better.
11-11-13
" Madness
So I am 6 days without a drink today. The last week has been a nightmare. I haven't been eating right or sleeping, I am having nightmares that I cannot remember but I know they are scary when I wake up (if that makes sense). I have been so highly anxious that my body aches from being tense for days without rest. I have been nauseous all week and very very paranoid to the point I thought I was going mad... Each day has been a slight improvement on the last but I keep getting these waves of nausea when I think about the kind of person I am... I am full of guilt and frustration and I am really struggling to put one foot infront of the other... I am anxious because I have to get up and cook dinner in a minute??? My paranoi has subsided though. I have just been in a constant state of fear that something bad was going to happen, it has been quite scary actually. However, and here is the crazy part, I am feeling a bit better so I think that it is a good idea to toddle off downstairs and grab a few beers from the fridge... I have a theory that a few beers will reset my system and stop the insanity, that the reason I am crazy is because I had a big binge and the only way to reverse that is to have 2 or 3 beers :/ Its total madness right? And there is a storm coming and I am home alone with the kiddies and I don't want to take them out driving to a meeting in a storm and they are also sick and on antibiotics (my son also has bad asthma) so its really unfair to take them out late at night... My family don't support my sobriety or me going to AA so no one will look after them and hubby is working... I am so sorry if this post is all over the place and lacking sense (kind of how my mind is working at the moment)... *sigh* This too will pass right :P

Not sure why I started this post, part of me wants to get it written down so I can come back and look at it next time I think about drinking and another part of me needs to know others feel/felt the same and I'm not actually going bat **** crazy