my life was ruined by alcohol before I ever drank a drop
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
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my life was ruined by alcohol before I ever drank a drop
I've already posted this on another thread, about hiding my bottles then, without telling my family why, getting mad because it was my house and I was having to hide what I was doing. Man. But I hope you will take the time to read the next paragraph. I had a nightmare about it last night and thought it may help someone else.
When reading these posts, I remember my childhood with my alcoholic Dad. He was very successful professionally, and we lived very well, then he would lose his jobs because he was drinking. We would then experience losing everything we had. I always knew when it was going to happen because I would find multiple vodka bottles in the bushes in our yard. I will never forget the feeling of "oh no, not again". This happened intermittently between my being 7 years old to 16 years old until my parent finally got divorced. His life story ended when he was drinking and driving and crossed the center line on a highway and killed not only himself but a young couple and the daughters ages one and two. I still have the picture of his car that appeared in the paper.,....his steering wheel had been pushed all the way to the front bumper. All of you with kids need to think about that....my childhood was hell (he was abusive too). Well, that is my "happy story" for today. I feel like crying, and that was 39 years ago. Oh, and alcohol was found in his car. You've got to love heredity.
When reading these posts, I remember my childhood with my alcoholic Dad. He was very successful professionally, and we lived very well, then he would lose his jobs because he was drinking. We would then experience losing everything we had. I always knew when it was going to happen because I would find multiple vodka bottles in the bushes in our yard. I will never forget the feeling of "oh no, not again". This happened intermittently between my being 7 years old to 16 years old until my parent finally got divorced. His life story ended when he was drinking and driving and crossed the center line on a highway and killed not only himself but a young couple and the daughters ages one and two. I still have the picture of his car that appeared in the paper.,....his steering wheel had been pushed all the way to the front bumper. All of you with kids need to think about that....my childhood was hell (he was abusive too). Well, that is my "happy story" for today. I feel like crying, and that was 39 years ago. Oh, and alcohol was found in his car. You've got to love heredity.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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yea, heredity; good times.
Two notions: first, that with awareness, free will trumps heredity.
Second, and this is the tough one; the reality is that no person is or was completely perfect, or completely evil. Not even freaking Stalin. It is sometimes difficult to see past the dysfunctions in others in order to appreciate other parts of the whole, but i find applying this to the heredity question--in addition to myself--helps me cope with the realities of life.
Thanks for the post sissy~~i always love to see that dog of yours looking up at me!
Two notions: first, that with awareness, free will trumps heredity.
Second, and this is the tough one; the reality is that no person is or was completely perfect, or completely evil. Not even freaking Stalin. It is sometimes difficult to see past the dysfunctions in others in order to appreciate other parts of the whole, but i find applying this to the heredity question--in addition to myself--helps me cope with the realities of life.
Thanks for the post sissy~~i always love to see that dog of yours looking up at me!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Southern Florida
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Heart-wrenching story. I'm very sorry.
My father didn't go that far but he was an alcoholic, he did drive drunk, and my mother ended up divorcing him as well. Back then I didn't like alcohol either, it seemed to make my father weak.
"Dad, let's go."
"Ok, just let me finish this beer."
that last beer turned into 5 more, which turned into some glasses of scotch, which turned into
"Jay, help me get your father out of the car."
"Mom, why does he like drinking so much?"
Just a cold look, almost as if she was saving me MORE confusion.
I recently told my father Im trying to quit and he's ecstatic. He says he should too
My father didn't go that far but he was an alcoholic, he did drive drunk, and my mother ended up divorcing him as well. Back then I didn't like alcohol either, it seemed to make my father weak.
"Dad, let's go."
"Ok, just let me finish this beer."
that last beer turned into 5 more, which turned into some glasses of scotch, which turned into
"Jay, help me get your father out of the car."
"Mom, why does he like drinking so much?"
Just a cold look, almost as if she was saving me MORE confusion.
I recently told my father Im trying to quit and he's ecstatic. He says he should too
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Sissy07, it must have been incredibly hard watching your Dad self destruct like that. I hope you have found a way to come to some sort of peace with it all. Your post carries a very powerful message, this illness not only kills the alcoholic but it destroys other lives in the process. Thanks for posting that, we all need to be aware of just how destructive this thing can be.
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Location: Between Meetings
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I was just talking with you about this sissy....It's tragic. I have a guy in my homegroup that got his 30 days last week and he worked with a girl that has just over 90 days. They always come into the meetings together....No relationship..Just friends.....She shared today that he relapsed Friday night and he was in really bad shape...So she called 911 and had him admitted to the hospital...Where he is today. Friday night as we was in the hospital...His son...Drinking....Took his car out and was killed in an accident....And he is sitting there...Blaming himself for relapsing....If he would have been home...It wouldn't have happened...His family is blaming him for relapsing....And this girl is blaming herself for having him taken to the hospital...The horrors of this addiction is something I just can't comprehend......I sometimes wonder why I am alive myself. God gave me a second chance and I'm not giving it back.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
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Sapling,
Your post brought me to tears...I can not imagine how your friend must feel. I am so very, very sorry. (And there I was feeling sorry for myself!) Being broadsided like that is something that would be very hard to ever overcome (like never), and could happen to any of us. Bless his heart, and that of his son. Drinking and driving is serious sh!t - and I have done my share, even after what my Dad did. This disease is relentless.
Your post brought me to tears...I can not imagine how your friend must feel. I am so very, very sorry. (And there I was feeling sorry for myself!) Being broadsided like that is something that would be very hard to ever overcome (like never), and could happen to any of us. Bless his heart, and that of his son. Drinking and driving is serious sh!t - and I have done my share, even after what my Dad did. This disease is relentless.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Originally Posted by sissy07 
I've already posted this on another thread, about hiding my bottles then, without telling my family why, getting mad because it was my house and I was having to hide what I was doing. Man. But I hope you will take the time to read the next paragraph. I had a nightmare about it last night and thought it may help someone else. When reading these posts, I remember my childhood with my alcoholic Dad. He was very successful professionally, and we lived very well, then he would lose his jobs because he was drinking. We would then experience losing everything we had. I always knew when it was going to happen because I would find multiple vodka bottles in the bushes in our yard. I will never forget the feeling of "oh no, not again". This happened intermittently between my being 7 years old to 16 years old until my parent finally got divorced. His life story ended when he was drinking and driving and crossed the center line on a highway and killed not only himself but a young couple and the daughters ages one and two. I still have the picture of his car that appeared in the paper.,....his steering wheel had been pushed all the way to the front bumper. All of you with kids need to think about that....my childhood was hell (he was abusive too). Well, that is my "happy story" for today. I feel like crying, and that was 39 years ago. Oh, and alcohol was found in his car. You've got to love heredity.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
Hey Sissy-
I too love seeing your adaorible little dog! These painful memories are soul wouds someone once told me. That need to be surfaced then let go. Doing this sober is very hard and uncomfortable, but you are doing it little by little step by step! Good for you in your healing process! Lots of love- Heather.
I too love seeing your adaorible little dog! These painful memories are soul wouds someone once told me. That need to be surfaced then let go. Doing this sober is very hard and uncomfortable, but you are doing it little by little step by step! Good for you in your healing process! Lots of love- Heather.
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