Im Not Even Sure!
 

I've been drinking for 5 Years now. I've been in a Unique environment to all else I'm Only 21 and I genuinely believe I'm an alcoholic. I believe it because every night I dream about alcohol... I can't seem too go a day without it. My family don't know much about my addiction... they don't believe it... but im in a place where i seem to hardly go without a week where I get totally messed up with like 12-20 beers a week. I tried to deny it was true but its become a reality. I hope to get the support of all on here to stay sober but not sure yet !! Also I live in Australia where it seems to be the tradition to drink... I just want to start this over! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

Hi Jeff

I'm an Aussie too so I know what you're talking about - but it is possible not to give in to those social pressures.

I think supports very important - coming here is a good start and you'll get a lot of ideas of where you might find support in the 'real world' too

I found that once I accepted I was an alcoholic - really accepted it - I accepted that alcohol was bad for me....

when I did that, what other people did with their drinking and what they thought of me not drinking became a non issue.

Sounds like you might be well on the way to that acceptance too :)

Welcome aboard - you'll find a lot of support here :)

D

Being alcoholic is a yes/no question. Age, social status, culture, frequency of use, our level of desire it were otherwise, the amount of dope we did, or bank balance are not factors. Great that you recognized now what many of us don't for the larger part of our lifetimes, despite an abundance of irrefutable evidence.

Many alcoholics have stopped far younger than yourself, so the question now becomes how to do that. If you can't go a week on your own you're unlikely to be able to carry out a firm and irrevocable decision to not drink, which is the simplest way. Perhaps try it again if you care to.

Then look around for help that is available in your locale and try the easiest sounding and least demanding method, just so you begin to know the level of help you need. Whatever it is, go the whole lengths they suggest to you.

If need be, ramp up your level of inconvenience from there to where you are able to stay comfortably sober following that path. Don't settle for not drinking and remaining on the ragged edge month after month, as that will not last long and is a waste of time.

Depending on how fast you move along, you should be sober for good by the time you hit your 30s. Be extra cautious during any periods of continued drinking as the damage to your life and health can be extreme and without intent on your part.

I really appreciate the response dee .... ive been in a terrible situation where i went 14 days of sobriety and for most of those days ive been dreaming the entire time about drinking... I can't think about anything but it. It's so hard and I don't know if my life can go on any further!

btw... I gave in at this point of 14 days sobriety due to the consequences .. I Just want to be sober but dont know how?

Thanks jeffs. I'm in the same situation as you and started drinking around the same time as you did. Except I'm about ten years down the line. Plus, I probably didn't have the same insight you have. I really wish I'd started sooner too. I've made a few attempts over the years, and have managed to clock months at a time on occasion. I suppose being sober isn't about not feeling the need to drink, but accepting that it's just something you can do... Just as dee said.

Somehow, today, by some miracle, I did not drink. I was at three parties, turned down a drink repeatedly. And I feel better for it now. All I need is for another miracle tomorrow

Lost ... wish I could do this but back at Day 01.. its just killing me not to drink... everyone around me drinks and it's so hard to say no. Why is it so hard? AHHH!

I think it depends on how far you want to go Jeff - and how much you want to put in.

I had to make some pretty sweeping changes to my life that involved changing some friends, some social activities and some of the places I hung out in.

Like I said before finding some sober support was really helpful for me too.

If you want things to change Jeff, I really think you have to make changes. I don't think there's any shorts cuts with that.

D

JE, that's the trouble with alcoholic epiphanies. Just knowing something without doing anything about it changes nothing.

Get involved out there in the real world with people who have your problems but are staying sober, and do everything they've done to make that happen.

Drinking again when part of you believes that you're alcoholic shows you need to understand much more about this than you now do. Go and begin to learn about what people do in order to not have to drink again.

Should you not do that, guess what's going to keep happening...

You only have to be 51% sure get help. Lots of young people realize they're alcoholics and drug addicts. Only alcoholics can decide that they're alcoholics, no one else can do it. ARe you ready to do something about it?

I had my first drink when I was nine. There were no drinkers in my family, my father was the only person who touched alcohol, occasionally having a shot of Seagrams. One night my parents were in another room so I got out Daddy's shot glass and bottle. I put down a shot quickly as I'd seen him do. I gagged, wretched and nearly vomited.

Then I had two more.

Welcome to SR!
I'm posting a link to AA in Australia. Look for Young People links or call or write to them for information. Click the "Contact AA" link on their site.

If you aren't interested in AA, ignore this. The only reason is that there are a lot of non-drinking young people around, sometimes we have to look for them. I wish you well in staying stopped.

Alcoholics Anonymous

I wish you well.
Peace,

there's also SMART Jeff
SMART Recovery Australia |

they have a more secular approach

and depending on where you are and your thoughts on Christianity - there's DRUGARM
Welcome to DRUG ARM! | DRUG ARM

D

Thanks for the links guys. Much appreciated :)

AA works for me, Jeff.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

I got sober in AA back when I was 17. If you thing you have a problem then you probably do.

I know its been a while and i was sober for a month after a long battle but my conscious told me it was ok again and i feel like everything was fine again and i took a hard fall and back at day 01 ... Please help 2 get back on track i dont know how much more of this i can take !!! :(

Its so screwed up im at the end of my rope i feel so horrible right now!!

It seems you are creating a pattern of behavior with yourself and drinking. You could research AVRT and read about it. You could try attending an AA meeting, or several, ask someone to sponsor you and then they can guide you through the steps of AA. There is a Young People in AA group in most places.

Something needs to change for you, it only gets worse. What are you willing to try for now? Sobriety can happen. Life still goes on, whether we drink or not.

In the beginning, I did say a prayer to whatever is out there. I did get to AA meetings and by day 12, I had found my first sponsor. I worked the steps and had a profound change. Others have found AVRT works for them.

You can stay stopped!

I'll bring a meeting to you. You can put a head-phone on and listen in private. Sandy B. was recorded on a Saturday morning in 1994 here: XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

It may be on step 11, but he gives a wonderful talk to the newcomer in the beginning. I'm listening now as I fell asleep to it last night. ;)

Thank you its good to see a response ... I dont know how to be sober .. I watch videos like craig ferguson for inspiration but i always wind up drinking again . I need to convince by self that abstinence is the only way!

Sobriety is action. In the beginning, I tried to think myself into a new way of living, but I found I had to live my life through action to change my thinking.

I strongly suggest reading AVRT and putting that program into action. Really work on this program. Since it seems that you may be able to do this on your own, try it. Give it 30 days, at least. There is a lot of information on the Secular section if you scroll down from the Newcomer's Forum.

If you can give up the alcohol and life is going well, keep using AVRT. If, by chance, you can't give up the alcohol on your own, there is always a detox in your local hospital, or maybe Dee can help you out, or do an internet search.

AA is available, if AVRT isn't working. First, give AVRT all you've got. You can do this. You are young, so learning how to live without alcohol can be as easy as changing habits, one at a time. Or, call the AA hotline in your area and ask them if there is a young person who is willing to speak with you or where a young person's meeting is.

You can stay stopped! You can do this! Remember, a real adult doesn't think like a teenager and everything really doesn't revolve around drinking. It's an illusion we believe.

Stick around and let us know how you are doing! SR is full of supportive people!

"Sobriety is action.". I love that sentence.

Jeff- Congrats on the month sober. Even though you drank, it is still a big deal to have gone a month. I bet you did not think a month sober was possible a month or two ago. Getting and staying sober is very possible. It is just very hard to see that while drinking.

For me, getting support was very helpful. Groups, SR, therapy. I like the AVRT Crash Course on the Rational Recovery website. I also went to most groups that I could find- AA, SMART, etc.

You can find your way through this. Keep reading and posting.

Did you follow up on any of those links Jeff?
no good?

D

Thanks guys and yes i did look into AA and other programs but as the weeks went on, i started to tell myself i didnt need it and i could do this with plain and simple will power. I've been reading up alot lately on alcoholism and that classic symptom is denial. I think the real problem i have with AA and other programs is my insecurity and fear of the subject. I know its the only way though now that im going to be able to stay on the wagon. I just hope i can be in a better place with this illness like many of you are now.

So im at Day 02 and am going to try to go to my first meeting this week putting my anxiety aside. Wish me luck :)

Hey Jeff,

I'm 22 now, and I'll be 23 in August. I only started drinking about 4 years ago. I realized that my life was totally unmanageable... and that I was absolutely obsessed with alcohol. I didn't have the dreams that you describe, but I was always thinking about when I could get my next drink. I'm on Day 43 after several past attempts like you seem to be describing and that obsession has become less and less everyday.

I've been going to AA, and that's worked well thus far as long as I've been giving it a solid, honest attempt.

You do have to make changes though, some of them are uncomfortable. I've had to limit my time with certain friends, and certainly limit the places I can go. I used to like going to nightclubs occasionally, but I haven't gone since I quit. It doesn't mean you can never go again, but early in sobriety you really want to avoid strong triggers. If you like Bars, I would definitely avoid going to bars for the near and foreseeable future. You just have to decide what is going to bring you closer to drinking again and do everything you can to avoid it, at least for the first few days.

Also, decide what you want more. Do you want to be sober and have a productive life? or Do you want to continue drinking like an alcoholic, like you describe. Once you make that choice, if you want to stay sober you really need to examine your life, actions, and friends and decide what is going to be enhancing or threatening your sobriety. It very often requires dramatic life changes, some of them are uncomfortable, but I'll tell you what, I'd much rather get a few sharp looks from "friends" than end up dead, or in jail, or have all my dreams and aspirations taken away by a drink.

This is just what has worked for me thus far, and I'm going to keep doing it as long as it continues to work.

Feel free to PM me.

Congratulations on 2 days!!