recovery question
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by Matterhorn 
Go to the gym or sign up for a sports league. I played tennis growing up and was active in sports. When I spent 20 years partying all that went to the wayside. I became overweight, out of shape and always felt bad about myself. I started getting tremors and throwing up frequently and my blood pressure started going through the roof. I would turn down offers to play a game in the afternoon knowing it would interfere with my cocktails...to the point all I did was drink. I went to a doctor who told me I needed to stop or I would die. After a DUI and being thrown out of the house by my wife and screwing up my job, I came to the decision it is not worth it. I now have found the gym again and play tennis in the evenings and all those health problems have disappeared. I am in shape and feel good about myself. There is nothing good about drinking...I never want to go back to that lifestyle again...it is not worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Lovetodrink, take it from someone who's been there done that. I attended AA for several months in the 90's after a rehab stint. I really wasn't ready to make the kind of changes AA required nor was I ready to give up the lifestyle of using substances of all kinds. It took another 15 years of abject misery, screwing up just about everything that could be screwed up to finally throw in the towel.
Save yourself a whole lot of grief and do whatever it takes to get off the merry-go-round now before it disassembles your life piece by piece. I think the desire to change is the most important thing, without that most any program is going to be an uphill battle. Although I finally quit without any formal program my biggest regret is that I didn't listen to the advice I was given in the past.
Save yourself a whole lot of grief and do whatever it takes to get off the merry-go-round now before it disassembles your life piece by piece. I think the desire to change is the most important thing, without that most any program is going to be an uphill battle. Although I finally quit without any formal program my biggest regret is that I didn't listen to the advice I was given in the past.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 45
well i went to a meeting and someone said "after meetings i feel so much better". i left and went directly to the bar
the addictive voice in my head was getting louder and louder all week. eventually it lead to me standing at a corner, to the right was home and straight was the bar. i stood there for a few minutes and just couldnt stand it anymore. i had to drink.
one thing that i hate about AA is the sharing, my biggest fear in life is talking about myself in a group setting. i did it once when i was young at school and i literally started crying in front of group of my peers.
its almost worse than death for me to do that...
so lost and confused and at day 1 again. plus im lonely as **** at home and want the social aspect i get going to bars. i met a new friend and got a girls number on friday...that is something i could never do sober.
the addictive voice in my head was getting louder and louder all week. eventually it lead to me standing at a corner, to the right was home and straight was the bar. i stood there for a few minutes and just couldnt stand it anymore. i had to drink.
one thing that i hate about AA is the sharing, my biggest fear in life is talking about myself in a group setting. i did it once when i was young at school and i literally started crying in front of group of my peers.
its almost worse than death for me to do that...
so lost and confused and at day 1 again. plus im lonely as **** at home and want the social aspect i get going to bars. i met a new friend and got a girls number on friday...that is something i could never do sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
No, I don't believe that. You could miss most of the meeting by staying in your head rehearsing what you'll say if called on, and then miss the rest of it evaluating your share for quality, humor, content and intelligence.
If you know you'll only say if called on that you're glad to be sober and want to pass tonight then you can focus on those talking about an answer to your problem.
Of course if you want to speak at some point you're welcome to, but I'd hate to think you'd miss getting better because you've confused AA with the Toastmasters and feel performance anxiety. It's not about public speaking and no one has expectations that you will do anything other than to behave yourself, which I've no doubt you'll do.
Relax, listen and get to know the people. The pressure to perform is something your head has conjured up.
If you know you'll only say if called on that you're glad to be sober and want to pass tonight then you can focus on those talking about an answer to your problem.
Of course if you want to speak at some point you're welcome to, but I'd hate to think you'd miss getting better because you've confused AA with the Toastmasters and feel performance anxiety. It's not about public speaking and no one has expectations that you will do anything other than to behave yourself, which I've no doubt you'll do.
Relax, listen and get to know the people. The pressure to perform is something your head has conjured up.
once in a . . .
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
Originally Posted by lovetodrink
one thing that i hate about AA is the sharing, my biggest fear in life is talking about myself in a group setting. . . . its almost worse than death for me to do that...
Originally Posted by lovetodrink
so lost and confused and at day 1 again. plus im lonely as **** at home and want the social aspect i get going to bars. i met a new friend and got a girls number on friday.... . .
As painfully shy and awkward as I was sober, I met alot of people and made alot of friends in AA. I stuck around and talked to people after the meeting - ok - at first it was just saying "Hi" to ONE person and then running away - but it was a start for me. There were ALOT of times I'd go to a meeting cuz I was lonely. That’s OK. Lonely used to get me drunk. Were I live, a lot of people “go for coffee” afterwards. Join them!
Originally Posted by lovetodrink
. . . . . that is something i could never do sober.
Keep coming back + talking to us!
Blue
ps. My hubby says to please tell you that when people in a meeting ‘laugh at’ someone who’s speaking, they’re really laughing WITH THEM – because they’ve Been There and they understand. *I* think that the UNDERSTANDING is one of the best parts of AA.
pss. totally agree with langkah! *grin*
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Like the others have said, please keep coming back no matter what choices you make. As for the AA business, it is scary when you share at first, but I forced myself to do it a few times and now that fear no longer exists. All of those people are there to help each other and if you can get something off your chest that will make you feel better, by all means go for it.
I also agree with bluemoon, the things that I have been doing sober amaze me! I used to have to drink to do anything simple, talk on the phone, going out somewhere, etc. Now I am finding myself able to do those things without drinking.
I also agree with bluemoon, the things that I have been doing sober amaze me! I used to have to drink to do anything simple, talk on the phone, going out somewhere, etc. Now I am finding myself able to do those things without drinking.
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