9 weeks pregnant and worried about drinking
 

Hi all, I'm 41 and became unexpectedly pregnant.
My husband and I were shocked, b/c we already have a lovely 10 year old daughter, and quite frankly we didn't get pregnant in the last 10 years, so what were the odds.
I have been drinking a bottle of wine 2 -3 x per week, up until today.
I stopped, I am going to the program and going to deal with this issue.
My biggest concern is that I have done damage, and am worried to continue the pregnancy, especially b/c all the information on the internet is so scary and so different.
I did speak to my OB, who said there's no guarantees, but stop now and move forward from here.
Anyone have experience and advise on this issue?
Thank you so much!:c021:

Congrats? I know you are emotional right now..

I was drinking when I found out I was preggo at 8 weeks. I quit. I am not trying to upset you but your age makes the risk factor for birth defects go up. After 35, it increases each year. There are tests that can be performed for birth defects, you need to talk to your doctor. Some tests cannot be done after 15 weeks because the results are not reliable.

You may want to see a perionatologist that specializes in high risk births, you may be referred to one due to your age anyway. He can do an amino if you are really worried.

Be SURE you are taking B vitamins. A lot of birth defects are caused by a lack of B vitamins, especially folic acid. Your first trimester is most critical because the neural tube closes, I think around 12 weeks.

Be honest with your doctor. My baby girl was fine but I did quit once pregnancy was confirmed. I had bad morning sickness and alcohol didn't interest me at all. Good luck!

Thanks,
I am already scheduled for all the tests, genetic screening, etc. I will have a CVS at about week 12 .
I've been taking prenatal since I found out.
I am more worried that I have done too much damage...

I don't have anything to add to what vichloe has already said but I just wanted to offer some support and wishes for a good outcome.

Hugs,
Kellye

all I can add is be brutally honest with your doctor so that they can know the whole story... i had my 2nd child past 35 and with my family history of risk factors that i was direct about, i had lots of screenings etc... obviously you can't change anything prior to today but you can do a lot differently going forward...

congrats on the pregnancy... sorry you are so alarmed... maybe find a meeting to go to and take this as a HP message?

I too was drinking when I found at around 4-5 weeks that I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, I quit the day I found out for the remainder of the pregnancy....... she's now a healthy, sassy, smart, and beautiful teenager. :)

Did I wish it were different at the time? Yes....but I couldn't change it so I just tried to stay in the moment and not worry about things that weren't "out there" yet, and the worries that did find their way into my head never materialized.

Congrats and many good vibes coming to you, from me!

Thanks KAMRIZ,
Do mind me asking if you drank alot?
I have been drinking 2- 3 times per week, a bottle of wine at a time, it's not everyday but it's heavy drinking nonetheless.
I am 9 weeks, so further along that I have been drinking weekly.
We honestly didn't expect this, and I feel so awful.

Hiya, I was drinking at least 1 bottle of wine a day before I found out I was pregnant. I went off alcohol and so was glad to stop anyway. Folic acid is critical-also alcohol depletes folic acid so tell your doc and he will prob recommend you take more than the normal recommended dose. Please try not to worry-in the sense that there is nothing you can do about the last 9 weeks. All you can do is concentrate on what you do now you've found out. on a positive note, many women don't know they are pregnant till your stage and have been drinking all the time and go on to have a healthy baby. Congrats on your pregnancy.

I can't exactly remember as it was so long ago but I'm going to guess I was drinking more than that, maybe 3-4 times per week, how much each time I honestly can't say but usually once I started I didn't stop until I went to bed so probably close to a bottle of wine each time.

I do distinctly remember that I'd gone out and partied the weekend before I took the prego test and gotten completely wasted....that scared the crap out of me more than anything else but all was well in the end.

You have all been very helpful and understanding.
People that don't have drinking problems do not understand and judge way too much.
I am very glad I found this place.
I do have an ultrasound today b/c I have had some spotting.
I kept scheduling an abortion and cancelling b/c I felt so bad. I feel bad either way.
Thanks for helping me cope.

Good luck with the ultrasound! Pregnancy is miraculous. I personally wouldn't worry too much.

eta: I sent you a pm.

I'll be thinking about you today, take care of yourself and keep us posted!

Try not to stress out. And don't look stuff up on the internet! I made myself crazy looking things up, was sure my girls' were going to have a birth defects. I used to dream about it! Once I dreamt I gave birth to an alien cat creature, I would see it's paws clawing inside my stomach to get out..

Think of it this way, back in the 60's and 70's mom's used to smoke and drink while pregnant. Most of us turned out normal. (hahaha) There are mothers addicted to crack and worse that have normal babies. Then, there are women that have never drank and never smoked and give birth to a special needs child.

Every child is a special gift. Every mother wants a beautiful, healthy baby. But it's always a roll of the dice. I enjoyed pregnancy but it did not help my anxiety. I worried a lot. After baby Violet was born, I made hubby get the snip-snip. I was blessed with two healthy girls, with all their fingers and toes. I bet you will have the same!

Let us know how the ultra sound goes.

Update: Just returned from Ultrasound, the pregnancy has stopped, no more heartbeat.
I am sad, but it wasn't meant to be.
The Dr. said, when pregnancies fail to thrive this early, it's usually something genetic.
Thank you all again for your kind words and support.
I can now focus fully on my recovery, and am thankful the pregnancy gave me the wake up call I needed to get a grip.

Awwww, Sweetie.. I am so sorry. Hugs to you. How are you feeling? I do hope you will stick around once you have time to process everything. Message if you like to chat. Take care of youself.

I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

I'm really sorry for your loss :(

I am so sorry - take care of yourself and make sure you avoid letting this become an excuse for a bender (as I would often have done with a major life event, good or bad).

Hugs, so sorry.