Windblown

Today, 09:56 PM * #26 (permalink)
Windblown
Member
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 218
Relapsed...Divorce Probable
O.K. I have been tring to get sober for four months. I have made it twice at 60 days. My husband drinks...he used to be in A.A. but he is sucessful at his job and doesn't drink that much. So he says he is not alcoholic anymore. But there is beer in the house and over the weekend he drank in the car while I was driving. He also snorts some sort of white powder and is totally addicted to it and is constantly overworking...acting wierd, staying up too late. I have told him time and time again that I need to live in a sober environment and could he please respect that because I am a total alcoholic and I don't want to die.
I got drunk after 65 days yesterday. I don't blame him...I blame me. I allowed my ex husband to get me worked up, and my current husband is fighting with my grown sons who do not live with us. I got very drunk and tore up the house. I was alone. I was not mean to anyone. But my husband got so mad at my ex that he called him and my son up and threatened to shoot them! I have to leave my marriage. My husband does not want to get sober and he is able to hide his drug use on what a great company man he is! He works 15 hour days. I have tried to help him, I have been patient and compassionate...but I can't live with someone who drinks and drugs. Some alcoholics are able to do this...but I know myself...and I can not. He is on a business trip. I may call an attorney tomorrow. I want him to apologize to yon for threatening to shoot him but he won't. I love this man and he is a good man and I hate to see this happen but I have to stay sober. Even though my kids live 3000 miles away...they are still my boys. I think my husband is insane. I too am insane...but I am trying to climb out. He is not. I have been talking to him about this for 6 months. I relapsed after I found out he had been drinking and hiding for four months. I have a shoulder injury and am awaiting a workmen's comp trial in May and have been told not to get a job until then by the atty. I have no way to earn much money but I don't think I'd mind having a few roommates. I also thought about being a Buddhist nun in the forest tradition. I went to visit a hermitage in No. Ca. They told me to come back for a longer visit...that perhaps with the absence, my husband might get sober.i don't know what to do anymore. I think after my recent relapse, It is obvious I can not live with him while he is drinking and using. It is sad. I hope for the best for all involved.
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instant

I don't think trying to be clean is ever a wrong thing to do. I feel for you, but I am not good at relationships myself so I have no useful advice, but a good supportive environment sounds like a plus.

dawnie24

Maybe your husband is the one that is making you feel this way?! And that you've had enough

Orbea

My sister would go away for weeks at a time to those Forrest camps. She is not an addict, but quit her job and her hubby and IMO went a little batty. Anyhow, those camps taught her meditation and many other useful tools...

TheEnd

You need to make this more about you and less about your husband. Your sobriety should not be contingent on what your husband is doing. Somebody that works 15hr days isn't home all that much to be drinking. Your problems come from within, and when you leave, you will be taking them with you.

You seem to be between a rock and a hard place. You can't get a job ..etc.. Try to work within the system instead of escaping it. Though it may be hard to get sober with someone living in the house that is drinking, it is possible.

Windblown

That sounds good in theory End...but try doing it as a newly sober person! I have been trying this for over a year...a year and a half. At some point a person has to accept what she can and can not handle...no matter how lofty the truism is that you suggest. I am deling with reality here and I can not handle this! But thank you for your comment. It is what I hear parroted in A.A. Meetings often and I tune out because it is a blanket solution. Everyone is different!

Windblown

We are affected by those close to us. Energetic auras overlap. We feel them. Call me a new agey goofball...but I have always known these things....even as a small child. I know what to do. Thanks everyone.

vichloe

Sounds like you know what to do. If you feel your husband doesn't help your sobriety and brings you down, it's time to go. In relationships an addict+addict=disaster.

Windblown

Yep. I am done. I have tried and tried. Now my life is on the line and I love myself just enough to move into the unknown amongst a safer and healthier environment.

MustStop

Devils advocate here. Why is your ex husband and current husband even in contact? Why is there even an ability?

All sounds like a huge chaotic mess that led you back to the bottle. Sort that out, keep those two away from each other (imagine if your ex's current squeeze called you up screaming?).

Get that under control, or get a divorce and that will drop the urge to even want to drink.

SASA

I can feel your pain. Soemthing similar happened to me. I learned on my way and I am almost 1 year now. My closes bf is my strongest trigger. When I am without him I am fine, when he returns in my life I get constanly bombarded by bad energy. I am very sensitive to these things. so I decided a while ago only to surround me with good people and try to cut negative thinkers out of my live. My live improved since than, I am still strugling with bf, since he always tries to return to my life and obviously that messes me up all the time. Stay strong, focus on your way and keep going it.