JimmyII

In terms of seriousness this pales in comparison to what I'm sure many people on here have experienced. But I need to tell someone about what happened to me last week, its given me nightmares for the last 5 nights, I can't sleep for more than 30 minutes without waking up in a sweat.

I just moved to a new city, I know no one, of course to try to turn this around I headed to the nearest bar. It was great I was chatting away and there was live music, I was having fun, but I blacked out at some time around 8pm, I know this because I remember sending a text to a friend and that was at 7:45pm. I have blacked out before, about a year ago, but I was with friends, and so one of them looked after me.

Anyway, memories consist of....pay tab at bar.....leave.....fall over in road + drag myself to curb...... fall over forwards.... fall over a few more times, smashing glasses.

Then the part which scares, me..

Man standing over me, helps me up and offers me lift home, now in a sober state there is no way I would get into a strangers car (I'm male btw). But I do, I remember telling him where I live, and he did take me there, I remember thanking him about twenty times, then leaving the car and opening my door. Then I woke up the next morning lying in my hallway fully clothed, with phone/wallet etc..

I've got a broken finger, smashed glasses, two cuts on my face, and a massive graze on my knee and ripped jeans. I assume the guy who gave me a lift didn't beat me up or try to rape me or something, I remember getting out of the car, so I think I would remember that, and the fact that I have all my stuff gives me confidence that he was well meaning.

Basically, I owe the guy who gave me a lift home everything, but what terrifies me is that I was able to get into this state without realising it, and that he so easily could have not been the helpful stranger he was.

I feel like I need to do something to stop this from happening again and that I've been given a second chance, but its not like I make a habit of this kind of thing, so maybe totally quitting is excessive. But when I describe what happened to myself (i.e. went to a bar by myself, blacked out, sustained a lot of injuries, was taken home by a stranger) it just screams drinking problem.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter.

Dee74

Hi JimmyII - welcome

I have to say I read all that happened to you, and then though about what might have happened to you...and my heart was in my mouth

and then I read

Personally I think putting myself in that position again would excessive.

My experience is once you start having blackouts & you keep drinking you'll have more and more of them, and they'll be more and more unpredictable.

The worst thing you can do is do what I did...I got accustomed to them.

In all honesty, if you want to be sure of stuff like this never happening again, there's a surefire way to do that Jimmy and I believe you know what it is

D

Justfor1

I would say that you are on the slippery slope of Alcoholism. Only you can decide. There are different levels of Alcoholism and towards my bottom I would consider how your night ended a safe night. I would blackout for days at a time and not even know what day it was.

JimmyII

Thanks for the reply, having lived with an alcoholic for a few years I know that I'm not even close to the level she was when she finally admitted she had a problem and ended up checking into rehab for 3 months.

I guess my current feeling is, I don't want to be sat here in a months time saying, 'this has happened twice now, and I feel like I should change my habits'. But you're right, I need to decide.

JimmyII

I know, tell me about it, there's some white night patrolling the streets of Toronto, that's for sure.

Thanks for your thoughts, all very much taken on board.

soberlicious

No, quitting would not be excessive. It would be prudent.

Taking5

All that you described, and you wonder if you should cut back or quit? I won't diagnose you as alcoholic, but you have alcoholic thinking down pat.

hopefulhopeful

Oh, gosh, reading this was scary.

JimmyII, I don't know if I yet consider myself as an alcoholic, but I do know the thought creeps into my mind more often than not, so I'd rather give it my best shot to at least acknowledge it and try to nip it in the butt now, before I wake up 21 years older after a much worse blackout.

I black out almost every time I drink.
I have woken up with a goose-egg bruise on my forehead from passing out backstage, I've gone a week with a black eye and busted knuckles from fighting, and I've woken up in jail with a mean hangover.
Bleh.. I'm still hanging my head in shame! :'(

Everything comes to a head and sometimes luck runs out - do what feels right for yourself and listen to your gut feeling! It seems like you already see this blackout as you pushing your luck. Give yourself some time to think about what happened; This forum's supportive of any and all effort and progress, I've found

hopefulhopeful

^Haha wait..I think reading my OWN post has just made me cringe - "not sure if I'm an alcoholic?" I sure sound like one..

recoverywfaith

Scarey....sure hope you decide to quit drinking for good. Maybe check out AA for support in the new town you are in?

davaidavai

Jimmy, I think when you start behaving like a stock loser from a titillating 1950s skid row public service message, then you can be pretty sure that you have a problem. Count yourself lucky, man. At least your final, big drunk (hopefully) is colorfull. ;-). Life is much, much better without it for a variety of reasons, some of which I have a hard time describing.

tooling

It's very dangerous to let yourself get drunk like this at a bar. You have to lower your guard and trust that everyone in that bar is there to help you but that just isn't the case.

You either have to control the drinking at the bar or don't go. If you keep that up your will end of getting banned from the bar or mugged.


Drinking sucks bro. I have been blacked out at bars and banned and the whole nine yards just short of arrested for anything. I never got into a fight but i came close, and as drunk as i was i would have been assaulted easily.

I don't really know how to tell you to stop drinking other than you can waste your life away doing it.

instant

I hope you can find a way to never let this happen again. Alcohol incapacitates us. You were in an incredibly vulnerable state. I recall a few years ago here a young drunk man got run over lying/ unconscious on the road.

sunrise1

In my experience, those who drink and have blackouts only get worse if they continue to drink.

If you could make it so what you described never happen again, wouldn't it be insanity not to make that your choice?

langkah

This one was different only in circumstances from the one you had a year before. Once they begin they often get much more frequent and unpredictable. There's no drinking technique I'm aware of to prevent them.

In another year they may happen every other month.

What happens to us varies, but is determined by circumstance and not by choices we make. If you continue you can expect to be greatly and unpleasantly surprised, unless you have a grandmother fetish or like sailors a whole lot. You'll have some strange mornings wondering why you woke up so squishy.

Friends of mine have been informed by their jailers they were in for not public drunk, but instead for the murder of various types of innocents. It still ruins a few days for them each year, and is something to be avoided.

The normal alcoholic reaction is that you'd of course never do those things, but in a blackout the possibilities are not limited by choice or sense or nature.

Since you now know that you blackout, you take that chance it will happen whenever you drink and you'll bear the responsibility for whatever it was you didn't know you did, whatever that may turn out to be.

Ever wonder where that which is 'you' goes to when your body is conducting operations without you?

blackoutgirl

Blacking out is not a normal response to a person who doesn't have a drinking problem. I used to think that my own issues were isolated until I started blacking out every single time that I drank.

You think that you "would" remember certain things, i.e. being taken advantage of, etc. You won't. This may be TMI, but my boyfriend has had to remind me many times that we were intimate the night before and I had no recollection, and would not have known if he hadn't told me.

I had to quit completely. Trying to manage my alcohol intake to avoid blacking out didn't work. After a while it took less and less alcohol to get to a full on black out state. Breaking any bone in the body will cause intense pain. If you don't remember this happening, do you really think that you would remember other things??

I'm not trying to be mean or cold hearted, Jimmy. I'm speaking from personal experience. The friends that I have who are not alcoholics, have never blacked out in their lives and it is difficult for them to understand.

You should think about making a change in your life now before something more serious happens. The blackouts get worse over time and I am living proof.

FlyerFan

Generally, when you stop remembering what you did or how you got home, you have a major drinking problem. At least that is how I concluded that I had one.

The question now is, how serious are you about quitting? What lengths will you go to to save your life? (and possibly others lives)

yunalesca

Welcome and yes, once you start having blackouts, it probably is time to slow down or just stop. I have blackouts much more frequently now and it's scary the things I do and don't remember. Two weeks ago, I made out with my boss and let him perform oral sex on me (my boss is married, old, and DEFINITELY NOT my type) after a work happy hour function in his office. I have no recollection of it ever happening, nor do I remember driving home and going to bed. The only proof I have is because I decided to snap a few photos with my phone of him in the act during my blackout state. I didn't even find these photos until a week later when I finally confronted him and asked him why he was acting so weird towards me and he was astonished I didn't remember anything that happened. After that, I happened to go through my phone, saw the photos and then everything clicked (horribly) into place.

I can't let alcohol ruin my career or my relationships. I do horrible things when I blackout and I feel your pain. I hope you get the help you need and I sending you positive energy towards your success.

WhySoSerious

yup sounds similar to my saturday... im done with this poison i want it out of my life for good. Only you can decide if you want quit drinking. and im learning that only I can mess up my sobriety. It's scary stuff. Hope you are well

Sally1009

If you are new in town, and want to meet people, why not go to an AA meeting as an alternative to going to a bar? You'll meet friendly people, be given phone numbers, and at the end of the day, you have nothing to lose.
Wishing you all the best.