munchkin05

Okay so now I'm going on 3 months of sobriety (YIPPEE for me!) I was wondering. What did others do to keep going, to keep maintaining that sobriety.
I am most definitely not entertaining any thoughts of relapse or whatever but I was wondering if anyone had any tips, thoughts, or what not that just kept them going.
I know it all boils down to "one day at a time" In fact I kind of like the quote from Stephen King in the beginning of the novel "The Stand"
Tips? Thoughts? Feelings?

Sapling

I work steps 10-12 daily.....

munchkin05

Well I still have yet to go to an AA meeting unfortunately.
When hubby comes back I was thinking about going since then I'll have someone to watch my son.
Still though, I'll google the steps.

Joe Nerv

I always liked the mataphor of having a big tool box and filling it with as many tools to stay sober as possible. I consider myself a high maintenance alcoholic (as I have some neurotic tendancies ), so my tool box is jam packed. A few of the things I do are...

Go to meetings.
Read AA literature.
Work the steps.
Keep journals.
Eat healthfully.
Stay away from processed sugar. Yeah, I know...
Go to counseling/therapy.
Exercise.
Take an AA group commitment.
Take AA speaking commitments.
Go early and stay late at meetings.
Read other self help books or spiritual literature.

The meetings, steps, and reading are probably the most important for me because each one of them is a never ending resource in itself for newer, sharper tools. Way more than can be offered here in a short post. Do yer best to remain willing and open minded, and things will be a lot easier. Congrats on the 3 months, and best wished for continued long term sobriety.

2granddaughters

AA meetings are my saving grace. Best hour of the day.

All the best.

Bob

Taking5

Have you read the big book yet? I would do that first, it includes the steps and tells you how to work them.

langkah

I'm waiting for the 40 year people to answer...I'd like to know too.

But they're probably waiting on the 50 year people.

In general, inconvenience yourself for the benefit of others regularly, learn more of what you didn't know about the subject, watch the paths that others walk and where that takes them and cull your lessons from that, be aware of and appreciate your progress often, and cut the other guy a break as often as you can.

For as long as you do those things and don't drink, the chances are excellent you'll stay sober. imo.

munchkin05

Well I tried.....but I kept falling asleep. LOL I read numerous other books dealing with sobriety but the BB reminded me kind of the bible. Long and extemely boring with no end in sight. LOL

RobbyRobot

At 3 months I was still very much working with the simple committed idea of never getting drunk again. Ever. I had just graduated my rehab at 3 months and moved into a little rooming house with a shared kitchen in downtown Ottawa. I was attending AA having completed the program and starting to muse about being 'recovered' and was now deeply working steps 10, 11, and 12 day and night. I also did my outpatient aftercare with my rehab. I also attended church like a few times a week. I had even dropped like 25 lbs or something. I did alot of endless coffee meetings into the wee hours, and all my new friends were in recovery or at least for the most part trying to get back to it after having tried their old ways again. I was back to enjoying intimate dating and keeping myself single nonetheless. I was happy and free while getting down to business of now living a sober life.

Congrats on your 3 months Munchkin! Awesome!!

It really depends on what you want to do with your new found life of abstinence. I hesitate to just throw around advice. My knowing where you believe your sober journey has taken you so far, and what present path you are now walking, would be helpful for me to relate to you and from there give some hints and whatever. I'm not one much to just soapbox what worked for me. We all walk just that little bit differently, and I would hate to miss what you got to say by hearing my own voice talkin', you know? Once I can hear you, then I'm good to share back.



So, how is it working for you at 3 months?

fuzzy1

At 3 months sober I was writing my inventory. Maybe you're not as alcoholic as me but without doing the AA stuff I wouldn't have been able to not drink for a longer period of time.

macknacat

like Lang- i was waiting on the 17 year folk to post!... oh well
i have 16 yrs. which is long enuff to see plenty of long time sober folk relapse. so basically i'm hella scared to change what worked to begin with- i do more NA than AA but still catch an AA meeting almost once a week- NA twice a week. I have a sponsor . I have sponsees. Which means i do step work. and means i stay in touch with folk in recovery. I do a daily reading and meditation.

Might not be a program for everybody else but its what i do and its what the ppl who had what i wanted did....

re the Big Book... The NA Basic Text is shorter and perhaps more 'modern' in its style. I also keep a copy of Mel Ash's "Zen and Recovery " at hand..

rws177

I make sure and talk to another alcoholic every day which is why this site is so great. It lets me know that there are others going through similar struggles as me. I'm active in AA (attending meetings and working the steps) but also a firm believer that eating healthy and exercising are key to my sobriety. When I feel healthy I tend to make better decisions. That’s just me though.

Congrats on 90 days!!

sunrise1

I have 1 year and 4 months sobriety, but I know that for some, "long term" is relative. At least it was for me. When I had 2 weeks, I thought 6 months was REALLY long term, and I would have asked the same question of them that's being asked by the OP.

I am an AA'er, but there are some things I do that non-AA'ers also do in one way or another. First, it's true- - one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Whatever your perceived roadblock is, you can outlive it even if you have to go minute to minute.

I also carry a mental "toolbox". For me, this includes ready answers and responses for people and situations where temptation exists. I also have safeguards in place where I feel I may need them (for instance, I occasionally work in bars, but I work with my husband. That's a safeguard because it would be really hard to sneak a drink around him and keeping his trust is of utmost importance to me).

I think of sobriety as an action word. Like a trim body, it takes constant work and no slacking off. I do my best to resolve personal issues, keep my side of the street clean, and I go out of my way to help others.

All of these things have brought a new depth to my person and new thought processes that serve to better me and hopefully those around me. My life is no longer "me, me, me", and there are rewards that come with living a more honest and emotionally active life.

Best to you and congrats on your sober time.

Peter G

Big Book Online - you can download it as a PDF to read on an iPad if you like also. I think it even fits on a smart phone if you like to read while moving about on the bus or train.

12 Steps and 12 Traditions Online - this is another brilliant read. I suggest you check them both out.

EDIT: Forgot to answer your question (doh!)... For me, maintaining long term sobriety takes being extremely mindful and aware of my present state. Once I take care of how things are right now, with each new breath taken, my future sobriety is strengthened. In effect this falls directly in line with AA's "one day at a time" approach. Someone told me early on that if I worry over the future or lament over my past, I am - by default - pi$$ing on today. That made no sense to me at first but it SO makes sense to me now.

I'm also involved in AA and I can't say enough good things about it. In short, the 12 steps did nothing short of save my life when nothing else worked, as well as giving me a quality of life I never dreamed possible. So, absolutely AA strengthens my long term sobriety, because without it I'd have no sobriety to talk to you about.

Should mention this: I've recently read a book called "A New Earth" by Ekhart Tolle (highly recommend it) which goes a very long way to explaining why living mindfully, i.e., being fully present in the moment is so very critical to each one of us. Grab it if you want, it's a brilliant read.

kcvalentine

i'm going on six months without alcohol. i've really gotten into diet and exercise...especially bikram yoga and pilates. i try to practice every day. and i'm feeling so good...mentally, physically, spirtually, emotionally. it's amazing how much eating nourishing food and moving can completely transform the body in a relatively short time span.

good luck! xo

Peter G

Mack, you mentioning this book might be another one of those mindlessly synchronous moments we occasionally get from life . It's the third time I've heard this book mentioned today. Since my spiritual side tends to have a more Buddhist slant, I guess it's time to head over to Amazon and grab a copy. Thanks for sealing the deal!!

Db1105

Service, service , service. I was taught early that you can't keep it if you don't give it away. I used AA and the 12 steps. I was taught by my sponsor to get involved. It started emptying ash trays way back when everyone smoked and making coffee. I opened and made coffee for my homegroup for my first 2 years. That was very helpful to me. With a little time it became giving people rides, sponsorship, and intergroup work.

Though not as active as before, I still make sure to do some type of service work, not only in AA but also in the community. I must remember its not about me, but we.

Kellye C

A friend of mine regularly shares in meetings the 5 simple things to do daily to maintain your spiritual condition (and sobriety). I find them to be true for me as do many other recovering alcoholics that I know:

1. Pray
2. Make a meeting
3. Read the BB
4. Talk to another recovering alcoholic
5. Do something for someone else expecting nothing in return (and don't tell anyone about it!)

In addition to these things some others that work for me are working with another alcoholic, daily inventories, service work, gratitude lists, reading on this site, remembering what it was like so I don't have to repeat it.

Hope this helps and good luck with your ongoing sobriety!
Kellye

SSIL75

I have been sober for 18 mos and am not in AA.

I feel like I've discovered 'real life' and going back to old life just isn't an option. It's not a struggle to stay sober. I am aware that I can't drink anymore but there is no daily effort.

I guess I'll let you know in 10 years if it's a good idea lol. But I feel great. And very 'done'.

My work now is just my life. When I quit drinking my sobriety my sober life was like a steel structure. Solid but hollow. Living real life now is very busy and gratifying. Building it all up. How do normal people ______ (unwind, bond, grieve, destress, LIVE)?

But it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with alcoholism, per se. Just like I'm an alien or something. Learning the ropes.

eta: now this made me change my avatar

munchkin05

Well I'd say it's actually going pretty good!
I keep a journal here ALMOST every day (been getting busy on the weekends so sometimes I forget until just as I'm going to sleep and then remember OOPS! I forgot to post!).
I see two therapists almost weekly. One is just a traditional therapist who is helping me work through issues with my family and myself. The other is a substance abuse therapist.
I work out at the gym about 3 to 5 times per week.
I now work with a personal trainer twice a month and sometimes get little freebies here and there.
I meditate (or try to) every evening before bed.
I'm trying to get into yoga because I love the mind-body idea of it but I actively practice pilates.
I'm also trying to get into spinning just because I have bad knees and it's something I think I might like.
Most of all, I've been taking time out to take care of me.
When I was living in my alcoholic career I was so good at forgetting myself and instead I would give everything to everyone else. Then at the end of the day I would collapse crying because I couldn't take on more and then just drown myself in a drink.
Now, I'm learning to say no, that I must help myself before I can help others.
I guess I'm learning to be at peace with myself and learning that I can't do everything. That some things just have to go with not being done (I was the super hypercritical, perfectionist who used alcohol to make me forget that I wasn't perfect as my family expected me to be)

Oh and thanks all for your congrats!