1_day@_a_time

I've run 4 marathons. That takes a ton of will power...but will power doesn't do a darn thing against something I'll always be powerless over.

Nicely said!

As an endurance runner (and cyclist) myself.......I love the analogy.....

Always intrigued by those who don't like a particular program & have made up their mind it is not for them when they have never really had an open mind long enough to see first hand for themselves.

Zencat

Congrats on your 60 days and your correct that no one single program of recovery is appropriate for everybody. But there are ways around any program that makes it more suitable for the individual. Take the "AA Agnostics of the San Franscisco Bay Area" for example. This group of agnostic (atheist as well) AA-ers make good use of the AA program in such a way that makes sense to them.

That's right, doing what works is in deed most important. As Windy sez; it twerks, if you twerk it . In a secular way for me that is.

goodface

In my relatively small town, AA has become something of a cult, I **8* you not. You might see every 2nd person you know there(aunt, uncle, best friend, ex bf, ex bf's mom, the list goes on.) For me, this is not conducive to "recovery," and in fact, on the face of it, can simply resemble a f*****g cattle call, if not worse. I have had good experiences in women's groups, though, so take that with a grain of salt. The idea, I think, with addiction, is that when you are full, you will get up from the table. Who here is full?

1_day@_a_time

The idea, I think, with addiction, is that when you are full, you will get up from the table. Who here is full?

not sure I understand, would you mind clarifying?

Thx!

Dimmer

I am surprised I didn't see two of my biggest reasons on here . . . but maybe thats because I'm just more of a weanie than I thought!
1. Social situations make me nervous and uncomfortable which in turn make me want to DRINK!!!
2. I am terrified of seeing someone I know. This is honestly my biggest fear. I know they say its annonymous but I don't believe it for a second. You could blame this fear on accountability but for me its really just privacy. There are things I might not want Sally from the gym or Ron from work to know about my life.

I might work up the nerve to try it eventually. But for now its just me, myself, and SR.

BHF

2. I am terrified of seeing someone I know. This is honestly my biggest fear. I know they say its annonymous but I don't believe it for a second. You could blame this fear on accountability but for me its really just privacy. There are things I might not want Sally from the gym or Ron from work to know about my life.

I've learned that no one (even my sponsor) makes me discuss my personal life in meetings before the group. That's for me to decide. When it's eating me enough, and I don't want to drink, I'll talk to someone. That may be the group. If it's something that I don't feel comfortable bringing up in front of the group, I take it to my sponsor one-on-one.

I also admit that I was initially apprehensive about attending AA and running into someone that I knew. It's natural, because I was ashamed of the condition & place that I was in. I should have been ashamed of the sh*t that I was doing when I was drinking and the condition that people saw me in then.

Dimmer

That's it, you nailed it. Shame. Embarassment and shame. But I think you are right, how could recovery bring on any more of that than drinking already has? Thank you BHF!

MrDavid

I wasn't fearful of AA -not by any means, but I did fear the prospect of losing something in return, my dignity. I felt less than, undignified and full of remorse. I never questioned my intentions but I did wonder where this would all lead. Basically, I became a lost soul waiting for the next shoe to drop. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol and I did question the validity of 12 step programs, but that didn't deter me from experiencing the vast riches of sobriety. My only glimpse at recovery prior to this was marred by unusual circumstances, so that didn't exactly qualify. So I had to experience "AA" without all that drama, and when I did, it took on a whole new meaning. It never stood out as being just another recovery program, and that's when the tide started to turn for me. I hope the same can be said for you as well.

Facts or feelings aside, recovery programs do work but only if we work for it. The only requirement for "AA" membership is a desire to stop drinking and a sober choice we make every day. That's the easy part and now comes the difficult one, what to do? The choice for some people is obvious but for others it's not that simple, so make the right choice today. Oh, there's one last thing I feel is worth mentioning so here goes: You don't have to feel grateful to be grateful. And "AA" is a fellowship I am truly grateful for, regardless of the facts. That's my story folks and I'm sticking to it.

~God Bless~

jason14

I have been thinking a lot about this. I started going to AA about 10 months ago. The deeper I got into it, the worse my problem got. I would go to meeting and get a sponsor and work the steps, but then i ended up in rehab. I have stopped going for the past few months, and it feels good not to hear how powerless I am. Not being told I have a disease or I need to give up my free will. Im really not sure where I stand on the AA issue now as I am trying to figure it out

Dee74

welcome to SR Jason

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach

D

goodface

"....when you are full, you will get up from the table. Who here is full?"

I just meant when things get bad enough, you become willing to do anything, including trying things that scare the beans out of you, like AA meetings. Sorry to confuse. Just try anything, everything. Educate yourself, piece together a way to live without alcohol which works for you. You don't have to take every word of any program as gospel, just take what works and leave the rest.