Afraid of AA?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
Awuh1, my fear of AA is of commitment to the program itself. Not becoming sober, but going to meetings and sitting in a group. I wanted something that I could do on my own time without feeling like I had an appointment to run to.
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by blackoutgirl 
Awuh1, my fear of AA is of commitment to the program itself. Not becoming sober, but going to meetings and sitting in a group. I wanted something that I could do on my own time without feeling like I had an appointment to run to.
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
Whatever way works for you, use it. Just because you prefer other methods does not mean you aren't recovering!
I used to hate the idea myself but now I love going to my meetings because I've made friends there so I like to show up early and stay late to chit chat with them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Fear ... of the unknown. Fear ... of meeting strangers. Fear ... of meeting someone I knew. Fear ... of getting all emotional. Fear ... of having my fear confirmed that I really was an alcoholic. Fear ... that I would have to change once I admitted I was alcoholic. Fear ... that this would be the end of my drinking days. Fear ... of how I would live without my best friend/worst enemy (i.e., alcohol). Fear ... of making it real. Susan
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Fear ... Fear ...Fear.....
Fear that you might change & have a life beyond your wildest dreams?
I have learned I am best getting a bit uncomfortable and adjust to making that my comfortable. It's worked pretty good. I need to keep working it.
Fear that you might change & have a life beyond your wildest dreams?
I have learned I am best getting a bit uncomfortable and adjust to making that my comfortable. It's worked pretty good. I need to keep working it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Hillsboro, OR
Posts: 10
Fear of AA?
Hello, I have always been afraid 2 step out of my boundaries. Doing anything on my own was extremely terrifying. Except for drinking alone (i seem 2 have done that extremely well).
When I decided on my own 2 go 2 my very first AA-mtg I balled my eyes out thru the entire mtg. Since I was quite noticeable, at one point a women came over & sat next 2 me reaching out 2 hold my hand. With the support of this unknown woman...I raised my hand, introduced myself, apologized for my crying & said my name & I'm an alcoholic. I was shocked 2 have all these strangers welcoming me & telling me 2 come back if I want what they have. Anywaz, my first time being sober & my experience with AA was good.
Thank U for this topic...
Serenity537
When I decided on my own 2 go 2 my very first AA-mtg I balled my eyes out thru the entire mtg. Since I was quite noticeable, at one point a women came over & sat next 2 me reaching out 2 hold my hand. With the support of this unknown woman...I raised my hand, introduced myself, apologized for my crying & said my name & I'm an alcoholic. I was shocked 2 have all these strangers welcoming me & telling me 2 come back if I want what they have. Anywaz, my first time being sober & my experience with AA was good.
Thank U for this topic...
Serenity537
Sober Alcoholic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Thanks blackoutgirl for letting me post my private response to you.
First of all, all of your concerns are valid. There may be a few things, you might not be aware of, that may help to address those concerns. First, there is something called "tradition three". It states "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That’s it, nothing more. I cannot say that strongly enough! If you ever meet anyone in a meeting or anywhere else that tells you any different, just say those words "THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING". Not that anyone will. Alcoholics HATE to be told what to do, and most us know it. Hence tradition three.
There are no appointments. You can go to as many meetings as you want or don’t want to. As a matter of fact you don't need to go to a SINGLE meeting to say you are a member because...... the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You don't even have to know the first thing about AA because.....the only requirement for membership is...
That’s not to say that you won't hear suggestions. After all, why go if not to hear things that might help. Well there is ONE other reason I guess. That’s to make some personal contacts. I have met some wonderful people who have helped save my ass in various ways. And more than once. They are physically where I live. Folks I can count on when the **** hits the fan. And it has, and they have been there. And afterwards too.
As for your thought that some people in AA fail to see others as not really being in recovery. I think that many find the AA program SO helpful that they may not understand why others do not take advantage of it. Actually, understanding the reluctance is why I started the thread. I really want to understand. There is no one “right way” to be in recovery and many in AA practice the program with considerable variation. Some use the meetings alone as support.
First of all, all of your concerns are valid. There may be a few things, you might not be aware of, that may help to address those concerns. First, there is something called "tradition three". It states "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That’s it, nothing more. I cannot say that strongly enough! If you ever meet anyone in a meeting or anywhere else that tells you any different, just say those words "THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING". Not that anyone will. Alcoholics HATE to be told what to do, and most us know it. Hence tradition three.
There are no appointments. You can go to as many meetings as you want or don’t want to. As a matter of fact you don't need to go to a SINGLE meeting to say you are a member because...... the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You don't even have to know the first thing about AA because.....the only requirement for membership is...
That’s not to say that you won't hear suggestions. After all, why go if not to hear things that might help. Well there is ONE other reason I guess. That’s to make some personal contacts. I have met some wonderful people who have helped save my ass in various ways. And more than once. They are physically where I live. Folks I can count on when the **** hits the fan. And it has, and they have been there. And afterwards too.
As for your thought that some people in AA fail to see others as not really being in recovery. I think that many find the AA program SO helpful that they may not understand why others do not take advantage of it. Actually, understanding the reluctance is why I started the thread. I really want to understand. There is no one “right way” to be in recovery and many in AA practice the program with considerable variation. Some use the meetings alone as support.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
Originally Posted by awuh1
many in AA practice the program with considerable variation. Some use the meetings alone as support.
I'll try to relate on a fear level as to what worried me about AA at the very beginning of my recovery journey. Religion, I thought AA was a religious body. I had renounced one religion in the past and was very concerned about joining another.
It has taken me some time to conclude that AA is not religious. Today I see AA more along the lines of a spiritual program of a religious nature. Still a bit to much quasi-religious for me to to cope with.
I do believe in having a treatment program to follow so as to up my chances of a better life alcohol free. I also borrow from the AA program the best I can as an atheist. I do what I will to make it all work out, no matter who I am. As there is no one recovery program that is appropriate for everybody.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 25
The trouble with AA is all the religious ********. I'm an atheist and despise religions and generally am embarrassed when I listen to people talk about "higher powers" because I think they must not be very smart and can't help it. I have to fake respect for them and end up feeling more like puking than after I've had way too much to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Jauburn
The trouble with AA is all the religious ********. I'm an atheist and despise religions and generally am embarrassed when I listen to people talk about "higher powers" because I think they must not be very smart and can't help it. I have to fake respect for them and end up feeling more like puking than after I've had way too much to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
lot of un-love cropping up here.
So- for any who are sure they can drop the contempt prior to investigation, i would suggest you read 'InfiniteJest' by David Foster Wallace.. an author whose IQ was decidedly off the charts... and who did AA in Boston and uses those experiences to write what most feel is THE defining American novel of the past 50 years. Pay close attention to his character: Gately.
Now mind you , this is not an exercise for the intellectually challenged- the contra plot running thru his footnotes can be downright maddening. And he uses lots of Great Big Words. [ the comparisons to Pynchon are valid] And i'm still not sure i needed to know the pharmacological back story of EVERY freaking drug to hit the streets of Boston! Still. Its one hell of a read. And, if you have the mental acuity to hang with that tome, we may then be able to converse regarding these expressions of disdain for AA.
So- for any who are sure they can drop the contempt prior to investigation, i would suggest you read 'InfiniteJest' by David Foster Wallace.. an author whose IQ was decidedly off the charts... and who did AA in Boston and uses those experiences to write what most feel is THE defining American novel of the past 50 years. Pay close attention to his character: Gately.
Now mind you , this is not an exercise for the intellectually challenged- the contra plot running thru his footnotes can be downright maddening. And he uses lots of Great Big Words. [ the comparisons to Pynchon are valid] And i'm still not sure i needed to know the pharmacological back story of EVERY freaking drug to hit the streets of Boston! Still. Its one hell of a read. And, if you have the mental acuity to hang with that tome, we may then be able to converse regarding these expressions of disdain for AA.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
just a reminder that while sharing your experience is what we're here for, posts that denigrate a particular recovery method are liable to be removed.
We're a big group here - there's more than enough approaches around for everyone to find their niche
D
We're a big group here - there's more than enough approaches around for everyone to find their niche
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I went to AA because I didn't know what else to do. I came within a hair's breath of killing myself in a blackout which made me realize it was stop drinking or die. I was terrified but I had no choice. For a while I was deeply ashamed because I had to acknowledge I am an alcoholic. But the support was so incredible that I got through the first six months of pure hell. I had the level of maturity of a ten year old kid and learned how to grow up and be responsible for myself. I have a fantastic life (sure, lots of problems too). I decide I'm not going to drink today.
We alcoholics hate to take responsibility for our own lives (it's always someone else's fault we drank, right?). When I take the first Step (Powerless over alcohol and life unmanageable) we are standing up and taking responsibility for ourselves.
Who wouldn't be frightened, lol?
We alcoholics hate to take responsibility for our own lives (it's always someone else's fault we drank, right?). When I take the first Step (Powerless over alcohol and life unmanageable) we are standing up and taking responsibility for ourselves.
Who wouldn't be frightened, lol?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 101
I was and still am scared of the "lifetime" commitment thing. I've just been telling myself that, to get to 20 years sober, I have to get through one day sober. I'll worry about the rest of my life when it gets here. If I drink tomorrow, it could be my last day alive. It's really that simple. AA has been the only thing to give me anything like success...I'm a very intellectual and Id like to think, intelligent person (Self-centered?) and I know the dangers, the health risks, and the emotional destruction caused by my drinking. I don't need a self-help book to tell me that. I can sit at home and read all day about fighting cravings and how to "solve" my problem. I've tried all these things. The problem is that these things keep me in the driver's seat; they try to give me power over my disease.
The result is that when I'm responsible for taking on alcoholism I lose big time, no matter how much I "know" about it. I can't handle this one. I need help. The fellowship, the steps, and my personal HP give me that help to keep my disease at bay, just for today.
I've run 4 marathons. That takes a t
Other programs
The result is that when I'm responsible for taking on alcoholism I lose big time, no matter how much I "know" about it. I can't handle this one. I need help. The fellowship, the steps, and my personal HP give me that help to keep my disease at bay, just for today.
I've run 4 marathons. That takes a t
Other programs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 101
I was and still am scared of the "lifetime" commitment thing. I've just been telling myself that, to get to 20 years sober, I have to get through one day sober. I'll worry about the rest of my life when it gets here. If I drink tomorrow, it could be my last day alive. It's really that simple. AA has been the only thing to give me anything like success...I'm a very intellectual and Id like to think, intelligent person (Self-centered?) and I know the dangers, the health risks, and the emotional destruction caused by my drinking. I don't need a self-help book to tell me that. I can sit at home and read all day about fighting cravings and how to "solve" my problem. I've tried all these things. The problem is that these things keep me in the driver's seat; they try to give me power over my disease.
The result is that when I'm responsible for taking on alcoholism I lose big time, no matter how much I "know" about it. I can't handle this one. I need help. The fellowship, the steps, and my personal HP give me that help to keep my disease at bay, just for today.
I've run 4 marathons. That takes a ton of will power...but will power doesn't do a darn thing against something I'll always be powerless over.
Other programs may work for some people, and that's fine. I'd actually be interested in knowing the kind of real success people have a achieved through them. All I know, is that anything that let's me decide how to run my life just hasnt done me any good against the beast of alcoholism.
The result is that when I'm responsible for taking on alcoholism I lose big time, no matter how much I "know" about it. I can't handle this one. I need help. The fellowship, the steps, and my personal HP give me that help to keep my disease at bay, just for today.
I've run 4 marathons. That takes a ton of will power...but will power doesn't do a darn thing against something I'll always be powerless over.
Other programs may work for some people, and that's fine. I'd actually be interested in knowing the kind of real success people have a achieved through them. All I know, is that anything that let's me decide how to run my life just hasnt done me any good against the beast of alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by blackoutgirl
Awuh1, my fear of AA is of commitment to the program itself. Not becoming sober, but going to meetings and sitting in a group. I wanted something that I could do on my own time without feeling like I had an appointment to run to.
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
I know that may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I can't commit to a gym membership either, lol! I guess I just don't like to be told what to do or feeling obligated to do something a certain way
I'd rather read about a topic or do self-help kind of things. I always have.
I think AA is a wonderful program, but its just not for me. Might sound corny but I feel it in my heart that it isn't right for me.
It seems as though some people don't think that you are truly recovering unless you are an AA member. Just an personal observation.
Nice thread topic
Day 60 here and AA is not for me. I do not believe there is ever only one way to do anything - and I think it is pure ignorance to think when it comes to alcoholism the only way to stop is to commit to AA meetings for the rest of your life.
I believe it is a wonderful programme for millions, but it simply isn't for me and never will be.
But each to their own and the main thing is to do what works for us all as individuals.
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