Relapse after almost two months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 153
Relapse after almost two months
I definitely didn't plan on having to do this, and as I write this I am full of shame and anger with myself. After nearly two months of sobriety, I drank yesterday. Pretty heavily, too. It was like something inside of me suddenly snapped and I just walked into a liquor store and bought wine. Ended up in a bar near where I live getting plastered. Then I started texting someone and saying some really inappropriate things.
My biggest fear, though, is that I will fall back into pattern drinking now. I don't want that to happen,at any cost. I still want 2012 to be my sober year. What should I do?
My biggest fear, though, is that I will fall back into pattern drinking now. I don't want that to happen,at any cost. I still want 2012 to be my sober year. What should I do?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
How did you stop for two months? Maybe call or go here: Alcoholics Anonymous L.A. Central Office.
The solution is in working the steps. The steps, as written, are an overview of what we did to stay stopped!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
The solution is in working the steps. The steps, as written, are an overview of what we did to stay stopped!
I wish you well on your sober journey!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
F355,
I am so sorry. Don't do a number on yourself (I know that is difficult) - just consider this a slip and get back on the horse. It is important how you frame this in your mind - don't let one slip lead you back into more drinking....just dust yourself off and go on. Take care.
I am so sorry. Don't do a number on yourself (I know that is difficult) - just consider this a slip and get back on the horse. It is important how you frame this in your mind - don't let one slip lead you back into more drinking....just dust yourself off and go on. Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 153
Thanks so much, friends. It really does help to have a support group like this to be there when you need help. Sugar, I really think that having a place like SR (even though I'm not the most prolific poster) is one of the main things that helped me to go for two months. Also, I had been eyeing 2012 as the most logical time to stop for some time before the year actually got here. I am still determined to stay dry - first and foremost, for today.
Are there AA meetings for the clinically, terminally shy? I have driven past the AA meetings in my area and they are all huge. It's a little intimidating.
Are there AA meetings for the clinically, terminally shy? I have driven past the AA meetings in my area and they are all huge. It's a little intimidating.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by F355 
Are there AA meetings for the clinically, terminally shy? I have driven past the AA meetings in my area and they are all huge. It's a little intimidating.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
Hey F355, you haven't failed at anything. This is just a bump in the road, so to speak. Don't beat yourself up too much over it or you might fall back more easily. Use the strength and knowledge that you've gained thus far to move forward.
The year of 2012 is far from over, F355. It's just the beginning
The year of 2012 is far from over, F355. It's just the beginning
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by F355
Thanks so much, friends. It really does help to have a support group like this to be there when you need help. Sugar, I really think that having a place like SR (even though I'm not the most prolific poster) is one of the main things that helped me to go for two months. Also, I had been eyeing 2012 as the most logical time to stop for some time before the year actually got here. I am still determined to stay dry - first and foremost, for today.
Are there AA meetings for the clinically, terminally shy? I have driven past the AA meetings in my area and they are all huge. It's a little intimidating.
Are there AA meetings for the clinically, terminally shy? I have driven past the AA meetings in my area and they are all huge. It's a little intimidating.
.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Hope you decide it's in your interest to take the help you need that is available, though you may not like aspects of it very much at the beginning.
Good meetings near Huntington Beach Torrence that are not too large.
Good meetings near Huntington Beach Torrence that are not too large.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by F355
I definitely didn't plan on having to do this, and as I write this I am full of shame and anger with myself. After nearly two months of sobriety, I drank yesterday. Pretty heavily, too. It was like something inside of me suddenly snapped and I just walked into a liquor store and bought wine. Ended up in a bar near where I live getting plastered. Then I started texting someone and saying some really inappropriate things.
My biggest fear, though, is that I will fall back into pattern drinking now. I don't want that to happen,at any cost. I still want 2012 to be my sober year. What should I do?
My biggest fear, though, is that I will fall back into pattern drinking now. I don't want that to happen,at any cost. I still want 2012 to be my sober year. What should I do?
What triggered you? Do you have a support network? Are you in AA?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
A large AA group can be better in some ways for a shy person. You sort of blend in, and can easily avoid saying anything substantive if you want to.
And after you find out how refreshing they can be, you won't feel shyness as an obstacle.
I am shy to the point of social phobia, and I can walk into an AA meeting anywhere on this planet now. Which is more than I can say for any other type of grouped humans.
Take thought as to what might have been the precursors of this relapse, and develop a plan for dealing with these sooner next time.
It's a journey, and along the way there can be the occasional bad motel. Check out and move on.
And after you find out how refreshing they can be, you won't feel shyness as an obstacle.
I am shy to the point of social phobia, and I can walk into an AA meeting anywhere on this planet now. Which is more than I can say for any other type of grouped humans.
Take thought as to what might have been the precursors of this relapse, and develop a plan for dealing with these sooner next time.
It's a journey, and along the way there can be the occasional bad motel. Check out and move on.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I agree it’s just a bump in the road IF you choose to have it be that.
One of the things that helped me quite a bit was to take a careful look at what happened each time I took that drink that I had told myself I would never take. The reasons were seldom trivial, though on the surface, they sometimes seemed to be. There always seemed to be a lesson to be learned. I had to ask why. Some of my friends said “you drank because you’re an alcoholic” and I would say, to myself, “ya but that’s not a satisfactory answer”. Typically something or someone got under my skin. That was only the beginning of what I needed to do however. After identifying the problem I needed to be honest with myself about what my reaction had been emotionally. This ranged from anger, to disappointment, to sadness, to out and out depression and hopelessness. Then I needed to look at what I did in response to how I felt. Did it help or hurt the situation? How? Last, and probably most important was a constructive plan to deal the same or similar situations in the future. For example, is there someone I can call or is there something I can do to make the situation just a bit better, even if that’s just for the next few minutes.
I resolved to never make the same mistake again. Part of what I needed to do, when I got down to causes and conditions, was truly life changing. Getting to the point where I was brutally honest with myself was essential. It required some big shifts in my thinking. That, in turn, required making some friends with a few sober drunks who had “been there done that”.
One of the things that helped me quite a bit was to take a careful look at what happened each time I took that drink that I had told myself I would never take. The reasons were seldom trivial, though on the surface, they sometimes seemed to be. There always seemed to be a lesson to be learned. I had to ask why. Some of my friends said “you drank because you’re an alcoholic” and I would say, to myself, “ya but that’s not a satisfactory answer”. Typically something or someone got under my skin. That was only the beginning of what I needed to do however. After identifying the problem I needed to be honest with myself about what my reaction had been emotionally. This ranged from anger, to disappointment, to sadness, to out and out depression and hopelessness. Then I needed to look at what I did in response to how I felt. Did it help or hurt the situation? How? Last, and probably most important was a constructive plan to deal the same or similar situations in the future. For example, is there someone I can call or is there something I can do to make the situation just a bit better, even if that’s just for the next few minutes.
I resolved to never make the same mistake again. Part of what I needed to do, when I got down to causes and conditions, was truly life changing. Getting to the point where I was brutally honest with myself was essential. It required some big shifts in my thinking. That, in turn, required making some friends with a few sober drunks who had “been there done that”.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
F355 - Feeling ashamed is a useless emotion - though understandable. You made a mistake. So did most of us when we were first trying to get well. Maybe now you're more determined than ever, & the relapse will work in your favor.
Chelsea69 - Welcome! It's great to have you here with us. This is a great place where everyone understands what you're going through.
Chelsea69 - Welcome! It's great to have you here with us. This is a great place where everyone understands what you're going through.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast of Virginia
Posts: 60
Get back on that wagon! We've all fallen off. Your not alone there. Beating your self up about it will only make it worse. No one here is perfect. Take what you've learned and apply it to this new sober day. Life can be very sweet and worth living every second if only we learn that. When I was drinking, life sucked. It's MUCH better now that I've stopped! If won't be a constant battle...it will get easier over time. Hang in there and do the right thing for yourself Bless you,
Scott
Bless you,Scott
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