tooling

You know how you can get drunk and you get funny feeling and then sometimes dizzy or whatever when you first started. Also like your personality never really changed too much but you just felt drunk or something in your beginning months of using.

I was thinking about when I abused alcohol reality changed and my character started to become someone else. It was as if i was letting something control my body and I just let it happen. This feeling in itself was intoxicating to me. I used to try to get drunk to get tot his point. but it usually took more than one night drinking. It took a couple consecutive drinking spells only separated by a little sleep.

It was in these altered states that i found enjoyment. I can now see why I never wanted to sit and have a couple drinks like other people then go home because it did nothing for me.

My craving for this extreme event is what fueled me to drink even more.

very weird now that i think back.

WhySoSerious

I totally get that. I would drink hard to the point of getting sick then pass out and when i woke up i would get a beer before water and just keep going... for days on end when i had time off. after a few days you feel like a different person. Sad to say i enjoyed that too. But i definitely do not miss it.