"Don't take this the wrong way mom, but..."
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"Don't take this the wrong way mom, but..."
"I wish you would start drinking again. Every time you quit drinking, there is always sugar and junk food in the house and we all gain weight."
So I told her maybe I'd start drinking again in the summer. I asked husband who was in the kitchen if I should start drinking again and he said "I don't know,how important is it for us to have a happy marriage? Or to be married at all?" It seems the experience of my drinking is different for everyone...
Just some super fun outside av influences going on. Like I needed that. Sometimes I'd really like everyone to Just keep their opinions to themselves.
So I told her maybe I'd start drinking again in the summer. I asked husband who was in the kitchen if I should start drinking again and he said "I don't know,how important is it for us to have a happy marriage? Or to be married at all?" It seems the experience of my drinking is different for everyone...
Just some super fun outside av influences going on. Like I needed that. Sometimes I'd really like everyone to Just keep their opinions to themselves.
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I'm on the flip side of that. My wife loves to bake, my daughter has been in dance since she could walk so she can eat whatever she wants....I got mad one night and got a trunk for the baked goods with a pad lock and then a mini fridge with a fridge lock(you can buy them on ebay and amazon) for frozen goods...they have the keys. i don't.
problem solved for me.
I don't know how old your kids are, but i might have gotten a little pissed at them for saying something like that. Especially if they saw the struggle. They know what it's like to crave because they gain weight when you have junk, but you can drink so they don't have to have the temptation?? Not cool.
I'd sit my ass on the couch and eat a bunch of cake, then leave what was left on the counter and let them struggle with a craving while i procured the fridge and trunk and then explain when i got back that what they said was not nice. but that's just me. I'm kind of a ba$tard sometimes.
i hope the AV voices quiet down for you. It's no fun feelin bad.
problem solved for me.
I don't know how old your kids are, but i might have gotten a little pissed at them for saying something like that. Especially if they saw the struggle. They know what it's like to crave because they gain weight when you have junk, but you can drink so they don't have to have the temptation?? Not cool.
I'd sit my ass on the couch and eat a bunch of cake, then leave what was left on the counter and let them struggle with a craving while i procured the fridge and trunk and then explain when i got back that what they said was not nice. but that's just me. I'm kind of a ba$tard sometimes.
i hope the AV voices quiet down for you. It's no fun feelin bad.
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Sometimes I'd really like everyone to Just keep their opinions to themselves.
i hear ya there. and sometimes its good for me to do the same because if i heard
I wish you would start drinking again. Every time you quit drinking, there is always sugar and junk food in the house and we all gain weight
i could hear me say something like(with a laugh)
"yeah, its hard holding you down and forcing that stuff down your throat."
or
"and the great thing is the "you" part of "we" can go exercise anytime you want."
or
"hasnt been bothering me at all. who ate my reeses???
a043:
i hear ya there. and sometimes its good for me to do the same because if i heard
I wish you would start drinking again. Every time you quit drinking, there is always sugar and junk food in the house and we all gain weight
i could hear me say something like(with a laugh)
"yeah, its hard holding you down and forcing that stuff down your throat."
or
"and the great thing is the "you" part of "we" can go exercise anytime you want."
or
"hasnt been bothering me at all. who ate my reeses???
a043:
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I agree with Scott.
In the long term people saw how good I felt and how much happier I was and even if they don't understand it, they responded positively to the new me.
start buying carrot sticks and rice crackers - give them something to really complain about
In the long term people saw how good I felt and how much happier I was and even if they don't understand it, they responded positively to the new me.
start buying carrot sticks and rice crackers - give them something to really complain about
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This is my 21 year old, she's finishing up college this year. She's less impacted by my drinking than my husband and my eleven year old, who depend on me in a more emotionally intimate way. In her defense she did follow up with "we should try to be more accountable to each other about not bringing junk into the house." Also I think it was sort of a bad joke....Sometimes alcoholics don't take jokes well, haha.
This is a kind of long standing pattern,when I am drinking I'm hard core about not allowing any junk in the house and when I quit, well....as you know alcoholics typically have their "on pattern" and their "off pattern." I'm still figuring out how to make my off pattern work. I've never given it a long term chance before.
This is a kind of long standing pattern,when I am drinking I'm hard core about not allowing any junk in the house and when I quit, well....as you know alcoholics typically have their "on pattern" and their "off pattern." I'm still figuring out how to make my off pattern work. I've never given it a long term chance before.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Don't let it bother you. Everyone in your household can make their own decisions. Just because YOU decide to eat a certain way does not mean they have to. You are not forcing it upon them. It is THEIR CHOICE if they eat that way. You're in recovery, you are doing what you have to do for yourself.
When you were drinking, I imagine nobody else in the house drank just because you drank right? Well it's not your fault if they chooses to eat a certain way just because you are.
When you were drinking, I imagine nobody else in the house drank just because you drank right? Well it's not your fault if they chooses to eat a certain way just because you are.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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I’m sitting here and I’m reading Dale Carnegie’s wonderful book ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’. In the book he reminds not to concern ourselves with trifles. It looks like you have been able to shake off this merciless disease that has haunted us all. Compared to this accomplishment, what your daughter said is peanuts, not worth mentioning. Just let it go. No resentments, not good for boozers like us!
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Haha, trifles for days!! Dang, that looks like an extra inch on my waistline....
Yes, i told her how it made me feel. I told her it made me want to drink! I won't, but sometimes I want to. Sometimes I want to drive out to LA and find Keanu Reeves, then spend a week with him in a shack in Barbados, but I won't do that either. Even though he's my hall pass I suspect the husband would still be upset about it....
Yes, i told her how it made me feel. I told her it made me want to drink! I won't, but sometimes I want to. Sometimes I want to drive out to LA and find Keanu Reeves, then spend a week with him in a shack in Barbados, but I won't do that either. Even though he's my hall pass I suspect the husband would still be upset about it....
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan 
He and I had the same trainer back in the 80s. Sometimes he'd double train with both of us.
Keanu is amazingly cool.
Ah, Venice. What a circus.
Keanu is amazingly cool.
Ah, Venice. What a circus.
I think it's best he and I don't meet, he'll realize we are soulmates and the temptation would simply be too great.
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Funny I was just watching the show This is us, the character Kevin was fresh out of Rehab and binging on skittles and sugary cereal and I could relate so much haha. My kids are opposite, they are all young and we usually don’t have much sugar in our house so they are stoked about moms sugar cravings. Tonight we had Trader Joe’s chocolate cookie ice cream and they we’re so happy
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I would have replied with something along the lines of "no one is making you eat it" but that's just me. 
Doubt she knew what she was saying or understood the context.
Doubt she knew what she was saying or understood the context.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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SS,
I have kids around the same age and I think you nailed it when you said that when you are drinking you insist on no junk and now its junk city.
Its not just now that there is junk, its that you are changing the strict rules that you set around your needs and that is hard for kids.
In my case, there have never been strict rules about junk food to break, but had there been and then off they went, my kids would feel betrayed by the fact that its all about me -- now she wants junk so its all OK but when I wanted a popsicle when I was 6.....
So I would own that and it would all be OK. Yes daughter 1, I realise that I am being a hypocrite and its all about me on the sweets right now, but in the long run, its such a small price to pay.
Oh the joys...
I have kids around the same age and I think you nailed it when you said that when you are drinking you insist on no junk and now its junk city.
Its not just now that there is junk, its that you are changing the strict rules that you set around your needs and that is hard for kids.
In my case, there have never been strict rules about junk food to break, but had there been and then off they went, my kids would feel betrayed by the fact that its all about me -- now she wants junk so its all OK but when I wanted a popsicle when I was 6.....
So I would own that and it would all be OK. Yes daughter 1, I realise that I am being a hypocrite and its all about me on the sweets right now, but in the long run, its such a small price to pay.
Oh the joys...
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