New here... Hello!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 11
New here... Hello!
Hi everyone. I have read a few threads on here but never felt the need to actually post until today. I kind of always felt that I could tackle my demons on my own but even relying on my partner to help me through this just doesn't seem enough especially when they don't really know what I am going through mentally and physically. Family support is great but I find they don't really seem to grasp the seriousness of it all.
I am a 24 year old female and up until May 2011 was a relatively "normal" drinker, weekends and social occasions, didn't need the drink to fall asleep and no cravings. Then in May went out on a big weekend with friends, took a substance (not a lot) that kept me up for the night, but I found myself not being able to fall asleep the second night, and then the third night was disrupted sleep and by the fourth I felt like a hollow shell. I was told to take a sleeping tablet which I did but the dosage wasn't enough and I ended up with a fever, nauseas, extreme drowsiness and heart palpitations but no sleep. The next day I went to the doctor and she upped my dose and I eventually fell asleep the following night but woke up extremely anxious and drowsy. I refused to take any medication the following night as I felt more anxious not being able to control myself and the effects the sleeping tablets had on me, instead I jumped into bed put on a movie and had a vodka drink. After a few drinks it was like a silky smooth feeling moved through my body and the anxiety and tension from the last few nights with no sleep disappeared. I physically felt the muscles in my entire body release and i fell asleep and slept wonderfully. It was like a godsend, but that instantaneous relief has been the reason for my drinking every night since. At the time I told myself it was just while I got over my fear of insomnia, but now I use the drink as a relief for any negative emotion. And it's a worry especially when my tolerance has increased so much since then that it takes me more than half a bottle of vodka to fall asleep now and get that relaxing sensation.
The thought of never drinking again at the age of 24 is daunting but every time I wake up from drinking the night before, I am liking the idea a bit more every day. I hope someone has any advice and their personal experience on what it took on the day for them to quit drinking.
I am a 24 year old female and up until May 2011 was a relatively "normal" drinker, weekends and social occasions, didn't need the drink to fall asleep and no cravings. Then in May went out on a big weekend with friends, took a substance (not a lot) that kept me up for the night, but I found myself not being able to fall asleep the second night, and then the third night was disrupted sleep and by the fourth I felt like a hollow shell. I was told to take a sleeping tablet which I did but the dosage wasn't enough and I ended up with a fever, nauseas, extreme drowsiness and heart palpitations but no sleep. The next day I went to the doctor and she upped my dose and I eventually fell asleep the following night but woke up extremely anxious and drowsy. I refused to take any medication the following night as I felt more anxious not being able to control myself and the effects the sleeping tablets had on me, instead I jumped into bed put on a movie and had a vodka drink. After a few drinks it was like a silky smooth feeling moved through my body and the anxiety and tension from the last few nights with no sleep disappeared. I physically felt the muscles in my entire body release and i fell asleep and slept wonderfully. It was like a godsend, but that instantaneous relief has been the reason for my drinking every night since. At the time I told myself it was just while I got over my fear of insomnia, but now I use the drink as a relief for any negative emotion. And it's a worry especially when my tolerance has increased so much since then that it takes me more than half a bottle of vodka to fall asleep now and get that relaxing sensation.
The thought of never drinking again at the age of 24 is daunting but every time I wake up from drinking the night before, I am liking the idea a bit more every day. I hope someone has any advice and their personal experience on what it took on the day for them to quit drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
welcome again IamDrowning 
coming here is a great start - I found a lot of support advice hope and wisdom here. This place really helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same
Have you actually stopped drinking yet?
D
coming here is a great start - I found a lot of support advice hope and wisdom here. This place really helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same
Have you actually stopped drinking yet?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
Welcome to SR Iam :-)
I'll just say I wish I had stopped at age 24 and leave it at that~~~oh, that and, i guess it can be done because i'm doing it
Others will have more wisdom then me on the rest of your post~~~~also check out the permenant posts on the forum page, and all the stuff for newcomers. There are a lot of good ideas and observations there.
I'll just say I wish I had stopped at age 24 and leave it at that~~~oh, that and, i guess it can be done because i'm doing it
Others will have more wisdom then me on the rest of your post~~~~also check out the permenant posts on the forum page, and all the stuff for newcomers. There are a lot of good ideas and observations there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 11
On new years day I decided to control my drinking and restrict myself to what I used to do, drinking on the weekends etc but for some reason the drinking sessions lasted longer and eventually within 3 weeks I was back to every day and within the last 2 weeks approx it has been quite heavy drinking. Those 3 weeks where I cut back was great, sleeping like a baby during the week, enjoying myself on the weekends and being able to stop during the week but then the need to control it quickly goes away and the cravings came back twice as bad. Is there no chance for someone to drink in moderation again? Has anyone had any luck achieving that control?
I was hoping that by dealing with stress and and boredom in a healthy way would allow me to drink in social situations with friends again.
I was hoping that by dealing with stress and and boredom in a healthy way would allow me to drink in social situations with friends again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I think most peoples experience of moderation is pretty much like yours IAD
just enough 'success' for a few nights to make us hope that somehow we can make it permanent.
I look back at those nights when I controlled myself as sheer luck now. Weigh them against the weeks, months, years when we had no control and you get a clearer perspective.
I think we cross a line with our drinking, and when we cross it, that's it - no going back.
I asked if you were still drinking because it's a good idea to check out with a doctor before you quit - detox can be rough for some of us.
D
I decided to control my drinking and restrict myself to what I used to do, drinking on the weekends etc but for some reason the drinking sessions lasted longer and eventually within 3 weeks I was back to every day and within the last 2 weeks approx it has been quite heavy drinking.
I look back at those nights when I controlled myself as sheer luck now. Weigh them against the weeks, months, years when we had no control and you get a clearer perspective.
I think we cross a line with our drinking, and when we cross it, that's it - no going back.
I asked if you were still drinking because it's a good idea to check out with a doctor before you quit - detox can be rough for some of us.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Don't waste your time on the moderation method. I'm not going to call you an alcoholic...I don't have any problem calling myself one...But your drinking is not normal...I guess you know that...Or you wouldn't be here. Yeah...If you could solve this problem at 24 before it gets completely out of hand...That would be in your best interest. I use the Program of AA...It's not for some people...Works for a lot...There are other programs here that people use...Other methods. Look into it...Ask questions. Lot of people here just like you...And me. When you lose control of this stuff...It can ruin you...Even kill you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome IamDrowning. Be glad you're taking a long, hard look at what alcohol's doing to your life. At 24 I was decades away from finally getting it that I could never be a normal drinker. I also used drinking to smother my emotions & avoid dealing with things. It failed spectacularly & caused chaos.
By quitting at a young age I felt I'd be missing out on so much. As it turns out, I'd have missed out on a shattered life filled with misery. Wish I'd done what you're doing. It's great to have you here with us.
By quitting at a young age I felt I'd be missing out on so much. As it turns out, I'd have missed out on a shattered life filled with misery. Wish I'd done what you're doing. It's great to have you here with us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
I quit drinking right before I turned 50. Once the fog cleared I wondered just what happened. I drank 30 years of my life away. I knew I had a problem before I turned legal drinking age. But I kept waking up every morning,saying today I'm not going to drink. About lunch time a beer didn't sound so bad,and by 5 oclock it was time for a beer,and a beer and a beer and a beer etc.etc.etc.
I guess I had finally had enough. Quitting was one of the most difficult things I have ever done,even when I wanted it more than anything in the world.
So my advice is do whatever you can to stop now,and not "wake up" like me 26 years later. I quit several times in those 30 years. When I fell off the wagon it was never very long until I was back where I left off. I always thought the thought of never drinking again was daunting also. But after a while you really do forget about it. I sure have. I don't want any part of it anymore.
I wish you the best....
Fred
I guess I had finally had enough. Quitting was one of the most difficult things I have ever done,even when I wanted it more than anything in the world.
So my advice is do whatever you can to stop now,and not "wake up" like me 26 years later. I quit several times in those 30 years. When I fell off the wagon it was never very long until I was back where I left off. I always thought the thought of never drinking again was daunting also. But after a while you really do forget about it. I sure have. I don't want any part of it anymore.
I wish you the best....
Fred
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