Wanting to want to stop drinking
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 184
Wanting to want to stop drinking
I find that it happens like this:
Day 1 - "I've had it with alcohol, it's costly, stupid, poisonous, and controlling. Those AA'ers were right."
Day 2 - Go to a meeting because on the first day I couldn't, too hungover
Day 3 - Maybe a meeting or "maybe I could just get drunk one last time." Either get to a meeting or get drunk "one last time."
Day 4 - This day usually results in the beginning of the week-long binges again... until day one starts again.
I find that I want to WANT to stop drinking, but my body won't let me. It's like the bar has some sort of magnetic pull on it... I don't know what to do and I don't feel as if I can stop.
Day 1 - "I've had it with alcohol, it's costly, stupid, poisonous, and controlling. Those AA'ers were right."
Day 2 - Go to a meeting because on the first day I couldn't, too hungover
Day 3 - Maybe a meeting or "maybe I could just get drunk one last time." Either get to a meeting or get drunk "one last time."
Day 4 - This day usually results in the beginning of the week-long binges again... until day one starts again.
I find that I want to WANT to stop drinking, but my body won't let me. It's like the bar has some sort of magnetic pull on it... I don't know what to do and I don't feel as if I can stop.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
I always found a good mood led me back to a binge as opposed to an intense craving. What about rewarding yourself with something else? Watch a nice movie with a food you like? It's also a question of memory. The thing makes us forget how bad it was. We forget so quickly. I've found movies help and are also entertaining and make time. Clean and Sober, Leaving Las Vegas; Wake to Fright; My Name is Bill W., Under the Volcano. They have helped remind me, and they are also fantastic.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
A meeting is not going to make you stop...You have to take care of that part. Maybe rehab. Meetings are great. The program of recovery is the 12 steps...Get a sponsor...Study the Big Book...Work the steps. That's how I did it. Not sure about your drinking history...Be careful with detoxing. Might want to talk to a doctor first.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 41
I agree that the good moods can make you return to drinking. It has happened to me twice when I went on vacation in the midst of many weeks of purposely abstaining. Its like you forget about the truths, where you were and how you got there and you think that it will be ok because you beat it and are not that same person anymore. The good mood just adds fuel to the fire.
My suggestion is to write down what you are going through and all of your thoughts in as much detail as you can. Do not leave anything out good and bad. Do this like a diary. Make sure you have easy access to it. When you feel good and think it is ok to drink now read all that you have written in the past. It should help. It is working for me.
My suggestion is to write down what you are going through and all of your thoughts in as much detail as you can. Do not leave anything out good and bad. Do this like a diary. Make sure you have easy access to it. When you feel good and think it is ok to drink now read all that you have written in the past. It should help. It is working for me.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Alcoholism is a disorder of body mind and spirit (at least in my opinion). On day one your body, mind and spirit are in agreement that alcohol needs to exit your life. Body mind and spirit are in shambles. It could be the last time, for some time, that they are in complete agreement however. Sometime after the 48 hour mark it sounds like your physical withdrawals become much more difficult and your body has begun to make strong arguments to your mind (in the form of physical discomfort) that a drink would somehow be ok. The various forms of pretzel logic are too numerous to mention. As the physical withdraws get worse, your mind is eventually convinced, or, as is also the often case, a person just says “f**k it”. Detox and Docs are often very helpful with this phase.
The second aspect is typically more about how to handle all the s**t life seems to throw at us. Some people use AA solely for support, AVRT or Rational Recovery as a way to cope, and/or seek therapy and treatment for other related issues and conditions. There is more than enough to keep most of us very busy.
The third aspect is spiritual. What is meant by that word…. only you can define. It’s often more subtle in nature so it does not always gain a person’s attention like physical withdrawals or a pile of life’s problems. Some people are lucky enough to get a sense of the spiritual in the very beginning of their journey. Most of us do not. I have never heard of this entering a person’s life, however, without them seeking it.
When body, mind and spirit are eventually both reconciled and repaired, life is just a whole lot better. Here’s wishing you well.
The second aspect is typically more about how to handle all the s**t life seems to throw at us. Some people use AA solely for support, AVRT or Rational Recovery as a way to cope, and/or seek therapy and treatment for other related issues and conditions. There is more than enough to keep most of us very busy.
The third aspect is spiritual. What is meant by that word…. only you can define. It’s often more subtle in nature so it does not always gain a person’s attention like physical withdrawals or a pile of life’s problems. Some people are lucky enough to get a sense of the spiritual in the very beginning of their journey. Most of us do not. I have never heard of this entering a person’s life, however, without them seeking it.
When body, mind and spirit are eventually both reconciled and repaired, life is just a whole lot better. Here’s wishing you well.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,966
Back to Basics. Completing the 12 steps in a short period of time. Check out this google search:
https://www.google.com/search?q=aa+b...ient=firefox-a
https://www.google.com/search?q=aa+b...ient=firefox-a
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
This may sound a little left field... but maybe you don't have to wait until you want to stop, Linz - just stop?
I rode the crazy train to the end - but I realise now I could have gotten off anytime I liked, just by not drinking.
It's simple.
I know - not easy, but simple.
I made the commitment not to drink, and then to do whatever it took in terms of support & effort to make sure I kept that commitment
This is a thread I wrote a while back
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ouncement.html
I'd love to see you get off that crazy train too
D
I rode the crazy train to the end - but I realise now I could have gotten off anytime I liked, just by not drinking.
It's simple.
I know - not easy, but simple.
I made the commitment not to drink, and then to do whatever it took in terms of support & effort to make sure I kept that commitment
This is a thread I wrote a while back
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ouncement.html
I'd love to see you get off that crazy train too
D
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Linz 
I find that I want to WANT to stop drinking, but my body won't let me. It's like the bar has some sort of magnetic pull on it... I don't know what to do and I don't feel as if I can stop.
I was in exactly the same spot. Wanted to quit on the one hand......but desperately wanted to continue drinking on the other. I didn't necessarily "feel" like I wanted to drink all the time, but if you watched my actions, they were the actions of someone who worshiped booze, partying and the escape I got from them over everything else in life.
I recall hearing that most alkies can't hardly EVER think themselves into right-acting but ALL of them can act themselves into right-thinking. That pissed me off and insulted my intellect.
To suggest that I couldn't change my thinking......and that something so artificial and fake as "acting as if" would change my thoughts and opinions faster and more securely than me "learning" the right things and then putting them into use was just back-ass-wards to me.
I guess I'll just say it..... I was wrong and "they" were right. Even now, almost 5 yrs in......about the best way I know to get something I want but also kinda don't wany....is to act as if I really DO want it - the key is in the actual actions though.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I think people are basically pleasure seeking. If you begin to find pleasure in not drinking it will be a lot easier. For YEARS I thought of 'not drinking' as a dull chore. It really kept me drunk.
The whole 'Don't drink. even when you really want to" is of course easier said than done but for the most part it was that 'simple'.
Even if I really really wanted to.. I didn't. Because an alcoholic wanting to drink was 'old news'. Expected. But 'done'. I was just done and I no longer had an extremely emotional reaction to wanting to drink.
I almost rolled my eyes at myself honestly because it was all so predictable. "My kids are annoying me! Drink!". Well YEAH! As if there was any doubt I was an alcoholic!
That kind of objectivity was key to my recovery. Google AVRT.
The whole 'Don't drink. even when you really want to" is of course easier said than done but for the most part it was that 'simple'.
Even if I really really wanted to.. I didn't. Because an alcoholic wanting to drink was 'old news'. Expected. But 'done'. I was just done and I no longer had an extremely emotional reaction to wanting to drink.
I almost rolled my eyes at myself honestly because it was all so predictable. "My kids are annoying me! Drink!". Well YEAH! As if there was any doubt I was an alcoholic!
That kind of objectivity was key to my recovery. Google AVRT.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi Linz,
I eventually realized that just wanting to quit drinking was never enough on its own. If we start to look at the process of quitting alcohol like anything else that we try to achieve in life it would seem silly to expect anything to happen if we do not take all of the necessary steps/commitments to achieving that goal.
For example:
"I want to lose weight & I am sick of overeating"
Day 1 - "I've had it with being overweight, it's costly, stupid, dangerous, and controlling. Those OA'ers were right." (Over-eaters Anonymous)
Day 2 - Go to a meeting because on the first day I couldn't, too ashamed
Day 3 - Maybe a meeting or "maybe I could just get have a whole chocolate cake just one last time." Either get to a meeting or overeat/binge "one last time."
Day 4 - This day usually results in the beginning of the week-long binges again... until day one starts again.
-----------
The cycle above is painful & I have been in it before. I hope you can find your way out of this one Linz.
As mentioned above the steps to quitting drinking are actually quite simple... Here is step 1: "Dont pick up that first drink"
Of course you have to be committed & wanting isn't enough. You need to utilize every tool & resource available along with changing your thinking.
This reminds me of a Kevin Spacey speech to a group of theater grads. Someone asks about how to get through the early lean years and Kevin Spacey gives a fantastic response about how wanting is not enough & what you need to do to make lasting change in anything that you really "Want". This parallels with the challenge of quitting drinking very well. Here it is, take care ~ NB
Kevin Spacey - Motivational speech.mp4 - YouTube
I eventually realized that just wanting to quit drinking was never enough on its own. If we start to look at the process of quitting alcohol like anything else that we try to achieve in life it would seem silly to expect anything to happen if we do not take all of the necessary steps/commitments to achieving that goal.
For example:
"I want to lose weight & I am sick of overeating"
Day 1 - "I've had it with being overweight, it's costly, stupid, dangerous, and controlling. Those OA'ers were right." (Over-eaters Anonymous)
Day 2 - Go to a meeting because on the first day I couldn't, too ashamed
Day 3 - Maybe a meeting or "maybe I could just get have a whole chocolate cake just one last time." Either get to a meeting or overeat/binge "one last time."
Day 4 - This day usually results in the beginning of the week-long binges again... until day one starts again.
-----------
The cycle above is painful & I have been in it before. I hope you can find your way out of this one Linz.
As mentioned above the steps to quitting drinking are actually quite simple... Here is step 1: "Dont pick up that first drink"
Of course you have to be committed & wanting isn't enough. You need to utilize every tool & resource available along with changing your thinking.
This reminds me of a Kevin Spacey speech to a group of theater grads. Someone asks about how to get through the early lean years and Kevin Spacey gives a fantastic response about how wanting is not enough & what you need to do to make lasting change in anything that you really "Want". This parallels with the challenge of quitting drinking very well. Here it is, take care ~ NB
Kevin Spacey - Motivational speech.mp4 - YouTube
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, B.C.
Posts: 6
I think most of us have been through that insanity, and some still going through it. I think journalizing what you think and feel in the beginning phases and taking good physical care of yourself (getting rest, eating properly, etc) will help you. I have been told trading a new habit for an old one is a good remedy......re-routes your thinking. Good luck and God bless you.....
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