happyhappysober

Hello! I am just over 2 years sober. I had a stressful morning. I do not have the desire to drink. The problem I am having (and have had for a long time since stopping) is guilt. I can't quite seem to let it all go. I have kids & a wonderful husband that I quite frankly put through hell during my years of drinking. Little things come up & that guilt slaps me in the face. This morning I was up at 3:30am, I took a nap mid morning. My sons school called because he was sick. I was napping so they called his dad (we are divorced) and they called my husband. I was jarred awake ..finally...by the phone from my husband with several missed called from him and my ex and the school..I just knew they had thoughts of my being drunk and not answering. they were both out of town so could not go pick my son up. By the way this all happened in a 30 minute time period from the school calling to me going to get him.
Longggg story short...I guess I wonder if those of you who have been sober for awhile have these extreme bouts of guilt when things like this happen.
And no, I have no desire to drink from it..and I havent for a very long time. Just having problems getting over my past and the awful and embarrasing things I did then. I just cringe A LOT. Although I understand I was lost in the disease with the demon on my back, its still a tough thing to not think about. Its not an everyday thing or even every week..but still there.

BTW, I havent read all the threads..but I am under Dr's care & am prescribed Campral. It has saved my life and works wonders for me. It is like Chantix for alcohol. I have been taking it for a couple of years now. Perhaps anyone struggling with staying sober may give it a try. Just ask your doc.

Thanks for listening & I hope to hang out here more!

JackNWA

Welcome. And for me the answer is yes. I have guilt pop in every now and then - as well as every other human emotion. It come from my life experience and to me anyway - is just part of being human. The key for me is simply in recognizing what I'm feeling, and letting it go.

Wellness

Hi Happyhappysober!! I'm sorry you are having a tough morning. The blessing is 1) you are not perfect so please don't put pressure on yourself to be...trust me...it's impossible 2) allow yourself to have bad days but don't feel guilty about your past. It's behind you and YOU have moved on. If others are bringing it up then THEY have to find away to deal with it and also move on. It's the past. As for guilt. That is such a normal feeling but please remember it's a wasted emotion. It never changes anything. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and simply say you're sorry if you upset anyone in the meantime. You are sober and that is a HUGE accomplishment. That makes you strong. Don't let moments weaken you. I am only 10 days sober and hope and pray I have your strength to be as strong. Pass that strength into other area's in your life. BIG HUG and keep up the great work. You're in inspiration to many of us

awuh1

Hope this helps
Ernest Kurtz, Shame & Guilt

timeisup

How can you feel guilty when you have improved your life and your familys, also prolonged your own life!

that an achevement worthy of feeling smug over!

You had a problem, you dealt with it. Now its time for the rest of your life, surely!

happyhappysober

Well, I knew there was a reason I came here. I feel better already, it helps talking with others that have been there (or are going through it).

timeisup: thanks for that..I like what you said about feeling smug, made me smile

I bookmarked the link, thank you!

and Jack, I am letting it go, especially after the encouragement. Funny how a few hours make a difference. Thank you!

And Wellness, thank you for your kind words. STAY STRONG, I know everyone says 'if I can do it anyone can'..I say it too. My life is SOO much better now. And I am really happy happy sober you can be too!

Thanks again guys!

Taking5

Welcome. This is a great place for support. The mods here don't let people carry on flame wars and all that crap that you usually see in other forums. I've been coming here for almost 6 years now.

happyhappysober

That is refreshing to hear. Been there & done that with a couple of other forums. Glad to have found this site. Thanks for the welcome!

timeisup

The bad stuff is in the past, the stuff you can change is in the future, focus there mate

NYCDoglvr

During my first few years of recovery (Oct. 12, 1991) I certainly had guilt plus a lot of other painful emotions, including self-hatred, constant worry. The steps helped me see what was at the root of these feelings and to acknowledge I'm carrying it around. Then make amends. That was a huge relief, felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Also in Cognitive Therapy I tackled these feelings head on. Like changing the channel of a television I learned to stop the feeling immediately and change the channel. Made a huge difference.