loudog430

I was wondering what everyone thinks of the relations between one's ego and alcoholism. I have mostly read, and begun to re-read The Mind: Its Projections and Multiple Facets," in which a large amount of material is based around how our ego controls many of the faulty and wreckless decisions in our lives. One of them would include our desire to drink, when we know we don't want to drink.

Example: I haven't drank in a month, I should be able to handle a beer or two.

-The idea that I have have the strength, because I am me, and I will not admit defeat (for lack of a better word) in this battle against alcoholism. Our ego is trying to convince us that we must be strong enough to handle juust 1 beer to possibly fit in with society or be just like our friends. We cannot just admit that that we cannot beat alcohol and that we are actually stronger when we avoid the temptation altogether.

Sapling

Exit Ego.....Enter contented Sobriety....Simple as that for me.

freethinking

Ego is a lot of what got me so deep into this I think. Yes, a small part of it for me was the occasional thought that *I* should be able to handle a couple of drinks. But an even bigger part of the ego problem was that I walked around feeling like the world owed me more than it was giving. I would become so enraged at being treated poorly, about sh*tty circumstances, etc that I would tend to drink at the world....I still struggle with this, but I'm at least aware of it now and I truly believe this reasoning to be at the core of a big part of my problem that made me prone to alcoholic drinking in the first place.

BecomingSober

I think big egos, small egos, and in between egos can all develop alcohol problems. It is an equal opportunity affliction. It just in twines itself differently for each of us.

loudog430

The ego seems to be one of the most hidden evils within human nature that is rarely discussed. While some have either big or small egos, I believe allowing you're ego to drive your thoughts is like driving drunk as you swerve and react sporatically/dangerously to different situations.

Media and society doesn't help too much either. Coors light commercials call out your "manhood" if you don't drnik their light beer. You aren't a real man unless you drink a Bud and eat red meat and watch football. Of course, most of us think of that as a silly marketting tactic, but there are those will actually want to kick you out of thier bbq if you are not drinking a beer in their presence. It has happened to me.

recoverywfaith

Wow, have your own barbecue with people that support you! You deserve a life of sobriety.

loudog430

This occured in a very backwards neighborhood in Philadelphia. I agree none the less.

TheJungianThing

What are the odds that you were invited to leave because somebody's wife was pointing to you as an example. "Why can't you stop drinking, see look at loudog430 he doesn't drink at all".

:rotfxko

I know I hated that kind of crap, when I was drinking.

loudog430

Good point!

2granddaughters

Chuck C., in his book "A New Pair of Glasses" describes ego this way....

awuh1

I like this topic. It's not discussed enough. Issues involving anxiety and depression are often discussed in relation to the alcoholic. This one comes up far less but is every bit as important.

There is a condition the mental health community calls “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. These “big ego” types can be found in most any group of alcoholics. They are easy to spot. They are easy to spot because most of us have a bit of it ourselves. Here are the first two sentences from Wikipedia. “Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to egocentrism.”

Sound familiar?

This is, I believe, why a spiritual approach is so effective with alcoholics as a group. It takes the focus off of self and allows us to think about our relationships to others and the big picture. It places the appropriate value THERE, and is something that is essential not only for many of us to stay sober, but to make the world a better place at the same time.

NYCDoglvr

I use AA's Big Book as a reference. Bill Wilson describes alcoholics as having enormous egos coupled with low self-esteem. I saw it once referred to as "His Majesty the child". We are self-willed, self-centered and grandiose.

loudog430

I like the comment about the large ego coupled with low self-esteem. Most people with low self-esteems have do not have an ego because they themselves do not think highly of themselves. But when you add-in a "vehicle" like alcohol, it seems to give them that edge that are invincible and that everyone loves them no matter what happens. Now, alcohol has reverse effects. My self esteem lowers as I drink, until I reach a point where I am no longer human but just a slobbering mess. Only then, does my self esteem turn around and I a smooth talking MMA fighter. On the contrary, the following week I am a miserable soul trying to pick up the pieces in the wake of whatever destruction I created.

The bolstering of one's confidence and esteem reminds me of road rage. The smallest, shyest person becomes an enraged bully behind the wheel because suddenly, behind this tank of a protective box, they hold such incredible power that they can use it to bully others when driving.

Sapling

That was me....An ego-maniac with an inferiority complex. Now I just try and stay out of the way.