The thread for people with at least 8 years
 

I'm not sure if this thread will be of use to others or not, but it occurred to me that there are people here who have found a solution to their problem that has worked to get them through the early years and on past the usual humps and bumps.

A place where the situations we deal with are generally unrelated to alcohol and sobriety, more with the usual and normal vagaries of life. Work, family, money, stuff to buy or not buy, travel, friends, life, death, and so on...

Sure, issues with sponsees and your level of involvement with AA, and health tips are on topic, anything that supports this good life. And of course anyone who has found a solid solution on their own or anywhere at all for at least 8 years is welcome to participate here, and it would sure be great if there are any people without AA involvement who would choose to join in.

A thread where the usual burning issues that newer people have have long ago been settled, where we can leave aside the old boring debates and focus instead on the good stuff and the challenges sobriety allows us to experience.

I am very interested in hearing from 8+ folks.

I imagine that you've learned to handle the really difficult things life can throw at you - deaths, relationship failures, career/financial setbacks.

When these things happened, how did you prevent relapse?
Was it very very hard?
or were you so accustomed to sobriety that drinking never presented itself as an option?
or did you feel something else entirely?

Hmmm.... so am I to understand that you are starting, or have already at started, a thread limited to persons with a minimum of eight years continued sobriety? Specifically to discuss the benefits and challenges that such continued sobriety presents? It's your right to do so...and to choose as to whom you choose to communicate & associate, but it seems exclusionary and against the purpose of the forum and recovery in general to me. I, admittedly, do not have anywhere near 8 years of continued sobriety and will therefore have to pass. I hope that if I am lucky enough to achieve eight years sober....one day at a time.... that I am of the same opinion.

One of the most important components of my recovery is that regardless of what level of serenity and sobriety I have been able to achieve, I am no different than the newcomer (one drink away from a drunk) and that it is my responsibility to share my experience,strength and hope with those who actively seek it. I can't see how any participation in a thread on a sober-recovery board restricted to "eight year alumni" could help accomplish these goals.

Relapsing is not a part of the (my) recovery journey, rather relapsing is altogether a part of the alcoholism (illness). So its not so much that I avoided relapsing, its not something that was even possible on my sober journey. On the face of it, it sounds a tad arrogant, but I'm speaking from sober experience. I've been without a drink or a drunk since July 1981, so relasping is obviously not a part of my sober journey. To relapse, I would have to first quit my sober journey... flounder around... refuse to regain my sobriety... then I could in fact, be in a state to experience a relapse into active (back to drinking) alcoholism.

Being accustomed to sobriety does not prevent drinking from being available. Its always available, but its never an option, you understand?

I'm always feeling (and thinking) this or that or the next thing, and these uncharted wanderings into my psyche greatly enrich my experiences of keeping sober.

It does strike me as a little odd to have the number of "8" thrown out - plus, the title of this forum is alcoholism, which at least to me suggests it is mainly for those seeking some sort of info on alcoholism (and all that it encompasses)

I've never used it, but there is a social forum somewhere else on this site i think. Maybe that would be more appropriate for this??

Can I also say, that nobody is forcing you to respond to the threads with the "old, boring debates"? Just remember, as I *try* to, everyone has to start from somewhere. At some point, those debates might have been interesting to you when they were new to you.

I'm not sure restricted is the theme here, but i didn't start the thread so its not my call. I do think the OP is simply speaking to the level of participation of the posters to the thread, ie somethings are assumed to be understood and generally accepted, and so perhaps a deeper, more complete "conversation" can be exchanged without apology for the scarcity of more supporting explainations of whatever.

For instance, I am completely different than a newcomer. I know this for a fact because after three decades of sobriety I am completely different then when I first detoxed and started my sober journey.

As well, I am much more then simply one drink away from a drunk.

I'm not sure if you are friendly with the OP or not and that is why you are trying to stick up for his intent, but he clearly stated this thread would mainly be unrelated to alcohol and sobriety. I just think that is really odd here. Based on his replies as of late, he seems to be getting frustrated with the quality of the discussions, hence this post.

Hmmm.

Interesting that you shared your thoughts to me. I will share back you're assuming much.

Okie dokie.

I don't know where Langkah got the arbitrary number "8" from, but I can see his point somewhat. To his credit, he did say it was open to all, regardless of recovery program, or lack thereof. Perhaps it might be better placed where those "class of [month]" threads are, where they also have that "one year and over" thread?

I can see where he is coming from as well, I am just not sure this seems like the right place for such a thread since it wouldn't be primarily related to alcohol or sobriety.

I have no serious opposition to the proposed thread, I just wanted to point out what I feel to be drawbacks to it. I use what I need/like and let the rest go. And it is stated that it's open to all, regardless of recovery program, or lack thereof, as you point out. But the way the OP reads, it is limited to participation for those with a minimum of 8 years continued sobriety.

My question is, what if someone with 3 years sobriety is either experiencing a similar challenge, or has something to contribute on topic? What sense does it make to try to exclude him from doing so? In my opinion, it is foolish to believe that someone with 30 years sobriety does not sometimes experience the same everyday life situations as the person with 3 years sobriety...or even less. What about the alcholic who relapses after 15 years sober? It happens. Did he not gain enough experience in that 15 years to contribute? Different people come into recovery at different levels - spiritually, emotionally, physically, professionally and financially. I never know what person, from what walk-of-life, in what current circumstances, is going to be able to offer me specific advice or suggestions that would be beneficial. I also never know who I may be able to help....and I won't if I make it appear that they are not welcome to ask.

You would probably be better off starting a Sub Forum for those with X amount of years than one thread. Why you would want to exclude anyone is beyond me. We are still all one drink away from a drunk.

FT, maybe I can explain my reasoning for this thread satisfactorily. I've noticed that when I'm talking with people who have the experience of staying sober that long very little needs to be explained to them. Hope that helps.

So, pretty decent Sunday so far here. Slept in and did my 11th step later than usual. Gave some thought last night to picking up a meeting this morning, but obviously wasn't serious enough about it to set my alarm.

My sober partner has been in the hospital for 4 days receiving antibiotics in preparation for gall bladder surgery in a few more weeks. The chef there for some reason feels his dishes improve with lots of vino over the main courses, so she's been getting by on the side dishes breads and desserts, with an occasional trip to the cafeteria.

While I was there today one of her friends stopped in and made for a good conversation/distraction from the hospital routine. I'm looking forward to her return home tomorrow morning, and hope to spring her as early as possible. The house is way too big and too quiet without her. I've not experienced that feeling of being alone in a big uncaring world for a long time. It still feels lousy.

Well you answered why my day hasn't been going good at all.

:rotfxko

I too slept in. I haven't even bothered to get in line. That's going to change here in a minute. Thanks.

It's good to understand that alcoholism is a mental illness, at least that's where the American Medical Association puts it. I had to work like a demon to change my old behavior, my thinking, so I didn't drink again. I had a wonderful shrink. Steps four and five helped me to see what my character effects are. I had to understand that I am responsible for everything I do and have done. Most of all it takes brutal honesty.

Change happens, I'm blessed to be given great tools and loving people on my path.

Well, sure, I get it... Arguments about powerlessness, disease concepts, AA vs. AVRT vs. whatever, all that, all those hot button issues for people early on are no longer as urgent or even relevant.

I do believe though, that there must be a different set of challenges, or just issues, for people with long term sobriety.

I am not 8 years sober, yet. LOL

We have monthly threads for newcomers, threads for people under 2 weeks, threads for people under 90 days, under a year, over a year, people under 30, the list is endless....

The subject matter is not limited to alcohol or drugs - as the threads go on you tend to find that the threads are about life rather than simply recovery...you get a real community going.

I'm not sure why people think this thread should be any different?

Lets quit it with the editorial comments.
Hope you get some takers, Langkah :)

D

Ok- if the discussion re "why this thread" is over- i will throw in some challenges that i face [16yrs clean/sober]

1] the arrogance of Not Calling someone in the program when i am hurting- this happens just enough that i know i need to pray this thing thru.

2] how do you grieve a sponsor who relapses? - 2 of the most influential men in my recovery went back out. One is still out 2 years later . And he is the one with whom i have done the deepest inner child, learning-to-love-myself work. Ironically, they both showed up at the ICU when my son was airlifted w/ TBI from a bad bike crash. Gotta admit- they were convenient vent targets- especially as they had never met so i could introduce them to each other as "two of the biggest and most stupid M#@**F&^$7*rs" i knew etc etc . One was on a broken leg- flipped his vette [and a DUI] when he was trying to get to the hospital.

that'll do for now

thanks for the thread...

And they say us alcoholics are sensitive....