Scrubmuncher

So my life went crazy again, I am back again in the UK, looking for a home, been sober 2 weeks, very easy this time. I pushed the boundaries in a different direction this time, fortunately came away in one piece, seems I have to stay close to home to stay sober.
Got one big problem though, we have a funeral in the morning, I know there will be lots of drinking, I will drink if I go, no one understands why I can't go and not drink, have a panic attack if I don't and possibly kick off a domino effect on what has otherwise been a pretty smooth and peacefully minded 2 weeks sober. Any ideas? no, they don't get it.

llastchance8

Don't go if you don't have to . Sorry to be lighter side on serious issue like funeral..An old joke . A client goes to a fresh lawyer who just started practice. The client's complaint is his neighbour asked him to go to hell !!!! The reply from fresh lawyer " You do not have to go !! I have read every law in the book and nowhere it says , you should go to hell, if some one tells you to go !!! HA HA HA

TyDy

I feel for you. I have a similar issue with the Super Bowl at a bar with my wife's grandfather who we have planned this since the beginning of the season. In the meantime I quite drinking. (he doe's not know this) I think I will go with the fact that I don't feel good. You could do the same since we are not feeling good we are addicted. Good luck!

DaveVelasco

The best you can do is to encourage more yourself to follow the positive side. What you decide to act on will define how courageous you are to fight over your bad habits and break what you have been positively doing over the past few weeks.

wellwisher

The reason I go to a funeral is to pay my respects to the departed and to support the family.

I would focus on the purpose of going to the funeral, (to pay respects) and conduct myself accordingly. Nothing says "disrespect" like making a drunken, sloppy display of yourself at such a somber, emotion-laden event. It helps no one. Believe me, I know. I was THE drunken ass at my Mother's funeral, and was the sober, pissed off sister at at my brother's funeral. My brother's high school friends thought it was funny and a great tribute to him to put a can of Budweiser in his coffin (after he died from liver cancer at the age of 34 that was brought on by alcoholic cirrhosis.) He had been sober for seven years when he died. His azzhole "friends" were still drunks. My family didn't find it amusing at all.


If someone offers you a drink, opt for something other than booze. If someone tries to push the booze on you, remember that NO THANK YOU is a complete and fully understandable sentence.

I'm fairly certain you know full well what will happen to you if you decide to take a drink. I'm not talking about how your mind will try to convince you how great it would be, but rather to focus on what you KNOW will be the inevitable outcome if you decide to drink. You've been to that place far too many times, right? and you KNOW where you will end up.

If you feel as if you can't get through the lunch or dinner that usually follows the service, perhaps you can bow out of that portion of the day and just attend the service.

I'm sorry for your loss, and really hope you get through this without blowing the two weeks that you've got together. Congrats on the two weeks! (and I'm glad to hear you are back in the UK)

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Scrub - good to see you made it back here tho

I don't believe it's ever a fait accompli we'll drink - that sounds like the type of line I used to spin to myself....

but if you're already convinced you'll drink - don't go.

D

Scrubmuncher

Yeh, I've had a word with my family tonight and asked them if they would be offended if I didn't go. They were actually more understanding when I explained I might need a drink to calm my panic attacks than just drinking because others were and that is my trigger. So I've got away with it.
I'm finding the drinking easy to stay off this time, at 2 weeks last time I was really struggling, lets hope I can break the 6 week boundary this time. My family are joining me in June so I've got 5 months to clean up, get back to work and prepare our home for their arrival.
wish me luck,
a chilled out and calmer Scrub X

Scrubmuncher

Fell off the wagon quite badly, got barred from the local bar, upset my family, upset myself. I want to go back into hospital but due to the nature of work I am persuing I can't, it will ruin my career. God it gets worse each time, my panic, paranoia.

BHF

Are you ready to quit drinking? If so, I suggest that you find a program of recovery that will work for you. I have no experience with any other than AA, but I know from these boards that there are multiple programs out there. At this point in time, isn't any program better than no program?

I know this sounds harsh and foolish at this time, but at some point in the not so distant past it likely saved my life....and especially my career path - You need to take the concentration off of your career and put it on your recovery! If you can't stay sober you will not be able to maintain a career at some point in the future. I've been told many times that anything that I place more importance on than my sobriety, I will lose. It has proven accurate.