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Recovery by choice

Old 12-29-2003, 09:29 AM
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Jayhay
I just wrote you a huge pm message, and your box is full, so it went into nevernever land. As in, never will see that lovely little email, ever again. Oh well.
Bottom line: I didn't find this thread until today, duh! So I didn't know you wanted to work on the book together! How is it going?
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Old 12-29-2003, 09:41 AM
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Hi Mountaingirl,

Sorry I didn't get your pm, sounds like you put a lot of work into it! I didn't realize I had so many old PMs just sitting there. They are gone now, so if you want to try typing it again....just kidding.

As far as the book, I've put a little dent in it. Too busy around here to start during the holidays. I made it through xmas eve and xmas day, and a few days after. I've drank several beers during the last couple days though - sad to say. I've had several discussions with my husband about this. He's had a hard time accepting that I'm an alcoholic. He even went out and bought a 6 pack, and told me there is a surprise for me in the fridge. ARGH. Of course I drank it. Not blaming him though, it was my stupid choice.

We had a good serious talk today though, and I spelled out exactly what I need from him (and don't need!). I think he understands now. I've even suggested that he read the book Under the Influence" too, and assist me with the recovery workbook.

Enough of my blather. How are you doing?

Jay
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Old 12-29-2003, 11:50 AM
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I'm ok, not fabulous but working on it.

The book does take some concentration - it's not light reading! But neither is Under the Influence.

The best part of the Recovery by Choice book is that you learn to see all the small choices that go into what we are so used to thinking of as one choice. And by looking at what went on first, you can cutoff the drink way ahead of time.

Why is your husband having trouble with something you say that you are? It's not about him. OOps. I forgot. It's always about them isn't it.
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Old 12-29-2003, 01:27 PM
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Sounds ridiculous, but I've read a lot around here, that spouses have a hard time adjusting to the "new sober you." Unless of course, it was them that requested (or demanded) it in the first place. My husband just never realized how much I drank. Sometimes I'd finish most of a 6 pack before he got home, and then slyly drink the rest before he was even aware that there had been beer in the refridgerator! Yep - definitely an alcoholic behavior.
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Old 12-30-2003, 08:44 AM
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Hi MountainGirl and JayHay,

JayHay, I am sorry you are having such an awful time with your husband. It is so hard for us to understand that we have a genetic condition that we cannot change, and can only live with, hopefully happy and sober, or miserable and drinking, or dead. Since we alcoholics want to believe we are no different, I guess it is understandable that our friends and family who do not have the problem will not understand, at least until time passes and they find out we do not turn green or anything when we are sober. Still, I am so sorry for you you have to face this.

Mountaingirl, you hang in there. We will both try to hang in there. I want to actively address this book next week; this week is too busy...

Hugs, Gianna
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:16 AM
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Good Morning all!

Hows it going ?

Gianna ! well done , day 8 isn't it ? you are doing great

Jay , You know, I did not understand this disease at all , before I started reading stuff, and going to AA. I live in the hope that the liver regenerates ! lol

Hi mountain girl, hang in there ! We can do it .....one day at a time

I am really looking forward to getting my book, I am hoping it will make me feel as if I am " doing something " constructive re my sobriety

have a good 24
HUGX
Lee
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:30 AM
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Regarding the book,
Would you all like to do it together kindof? Starting January 1st? I wouldn't mind, even though I did it several months ago, having a daily discussion or keeping a certain pace together. I did it alone and wished I could have had buddies at the time.
I just re read the whole intro this morning, and was so refreshed because everything Marty promises, he delivers, if you do the book.

love, mg
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:44 AM
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Jayhay!

I apologize was trying to quote some of your post and deleted part's accidently, I salvaged what I could of it. I really apologize!!
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:46 AM
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boy that's the truth Jay!.. I know your all looking at another reource but as far as spouses concerned "The Family Afterward" in the BB goes into it a bit. They don't and never will get it IMO.

... crazy stuff how we sneaked that beer huh!.. I went from bottles to can's becasue I was embarassed about the "clincking" when taking out the trash!
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:54 AM
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Hi MG ........ yes I would love to do it with you ! I am not sure when I will have mine, cant ordwer it til next Wednesday , ( payday) and not sure how long it will take to get here , but will sure let you know when it arrives !

Thank you

HUGX
Lee
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Old 12-30-2003, 01:15 PM
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Hi MG and Lee,

I would like to do the book too, but I will have to catch up unless you start, say January 8 or so. Have to order the book... I think it is a great idea to do it together.

Lee, Day 7 and I am really happy with it!

Gianna
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Old 12-30-2003, 03:12 PM
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I forgive you Chy!

I see which post got half erased - I think I remember what it was about. something about why my husband is having a hard time accepting my alcoholism. If I remember, there were 2 reasons: 1) he doesn't completely understand alcoholism, and 2) something about him being worried that he is at fault, or threatened by my being sober....that was the spirit of it anyway.

My hubby is not so bad girls (and guys)! He's doing the best he can with what he knows. He's not doing anything on purpose to destroy my sobriety. We're working through it.

Hey, I'm all for doing the book together!

Later, gotta go (kids want on computer)
Jay
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Old 12-30-2003, 03:20 PM
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numer one cheerleader here rooting you on!
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Old 12-31-2003, 09:14 AM
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i had ten beers today hurray
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Old 12-31-2003, 09:15 AM
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i bet you guys wish you could have ten beers today
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Old 12-31-2003, 09:29 AM
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IM SORRY THAT WAS THE ALCOHOL TALKING I FEEL SO ASHAMED
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Old 12-31-2003, 10:48 PM
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I think it's great you all have rallied around each other to discuss this book and talk recovery from another point of view!

I look forward to seeing how it develops once you all have your material!
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Old 12-31-2003, 11:19 PM
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Hey ! happy new year you guys !

cya later in the year lol

Will, let you know when I get my book, I was telling my Sponser about it yesterday, and she is keen to see it , and doesn't mind me doing it, she just said , that if I find it at all stressful, to put it down til another time ! I am quite excited about it

HUGX
Lee
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Old 01-01-2004, 06:24 AM
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Hi Lee,

I've started the book, and the chapters all follow a similar pattern. I haven't found it stressful yet - and don't expect to. But, everyone is different, and I agree with your sponser. Don't do anything that you feel is compromising your sobriety. That's what the workbook is about, really. Looking at ourselves and how we make choices. And making the best choices we can to stay sober.

Here it is, New Year's Day 2004, and no plastic-wrapped brain on this girl! sober as a......(what is that cliche?).....haven't had my coffee yet. It's still brewing.

Speaking of coffee, I've been told that having too much caffeine throughout the day can trigger cravings. Has anyone experienced that? I actually drink way less coffee now than I did when I was drinking beer/wine all the time. One cup in the morning and I'm fine. I stay away from caffienated sodas and teas too - primarily because I prefer lemon-lime type sodas and herbal tea.

Lee and anyone else, let us know when you get the book. Mountaingirl and I are ready to go anytime.; we're flexible!

Jay

ps - wow, just noticed this was my 200th post! That's amazing, never knew I wrote so much.
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Old 01-01-2004, 06:49 AM
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Hey all,

Happy New Year! It's gorgeous where I live this morning - perfect start of a fresh new year

Jayhay and I are raring to go on the book discussion, as she said, so who's on board?
At any point in the discussion, we will have people who are ordering the book and waiting for it to arrive. Infact, I hope more and more folks will consider ordering it because it is an excellent resource - even if you only do the workbook pages occasionally to keep your sobriety shiny and new!
I have requested permission from the author of Recovery by Choice (Martin Nicolaus of unhooked.com) to quote portions of the book in our discussions, because I know you will want to.
Let me tell you guys - and this is really crutial - this workbook is based on the idea that everyone will approach their recovery personally and there will be tools that work for you, and tools that just don't. It has been unbelieveably useful to me to see my recovery this way: my personal program that I build myself. Like a personalized diet, training program, or a tailor-made suit. You can walk away from doing this book with a program that works ideally for you. A perfect fit. Pretty cool, huh? I think I should get a commission from the sales, don't you....
So who is in?

hugs
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