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Don't Really Want To Stop

Old 01-28-2012, 05:44 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by TheNM11 View Post
I know that post title might sound terrible but it's the awful truth. This is my first every attempt at reaching out to any one, or something about my drinking. I have always liked to drink beer and have enjoyed the taste thoroughly. Well as we all might know beer will make the midsection soggy and so I decided to cut it out.

With all that being said I have recently started drinking liquor with diet soda to help with the carbs/calories. I have dropped 15 pounds and feel a lot better about myself.

This brings me to my point and probably my problem. I have drank liquor to the point where I am drinking 8-12 shots a night. If I try and stop and not do it just one night I FEEL odd. Almost like I am missing something. I know this is not normal. I quit chewing tobbaco years ago and had that same feeling about missing something.

Now, I have a pretty important job and the 12 hours I am at work have ZERO alcohol cravings. As soon as I punch the clock at 6pm I am ready to start hammering. I drink seven days a week and know that if I keep it up it will negatively impact my health, family and general well being.

In closing I CAN NOT imagine my life without alcohol. The way I feel now i'm not sure I can get past that.

If anyone has felt this way please let me know. Maybe I am the weird one.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks
Post reminds me a LOT of myself when I was drinking. I had the same cycle of feeling weird when I'd skip a day or two, no cravings at work but once home it was time to start doing 12 oz. curls. I always stuck with beer though. Didn't want to quit. Did it for 4 years, 7 days a week, 6-12 beers a night easily.

I quit smoking on January 1st 2008. I knew I was done because the "habit/addiction" had no redeeming qualities to me anymore and I put them down. I lump habit in there with addiction because it's difficult to stop doing something you regularly do daily. That's why you feel "weird", because it is weird to you...

The same happened with drinking and me. I just got tired of it. There were no positives in it. I wasn't having fun with friends partying or anything. I wasn't 24 anymore lol!

I got lucky in that I didn't do any long term damage to my health. The withdrawals were hell and I'm not entirely over them yet. Getting close to 2 months sober now and I'm down 21 lbs thanks to not drinking beer, a nice bout of suicidal depression (part of the withdrawal) and a recent stomach flu, lol.

The feeling weird about not drinking is just like the chewing, it'll go away in a reasonable amount of time once you occupy your time in other ways.
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Old 01-28-2012, 06:45 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I had a love affair with craft beer. I was a beer aficionado and had acquired quite an extensive knowledge of beer history, brewing and classification. I never had a desire to stop consuming it. I knew I drank too much, it was affecting my bank account (good beer can be up to $15 a six pack), my relationships with my family and my health. The experience I had with beer was held in high regard in some circles and on top of having no desire to stop consuming for myself, I couldn't imagine throwing away all of that knowledge, experience and regard of peers.

I did not have any desire to stop, until....

My "until" was a kick in the sack. I hope you find yours before it hurts too much.
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Old 01-28-2012, 08:24 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Alcohol is an addictive substance. Do not underestimate this fact in your reasoning.
Well sure, alcoholism is a progressive disease. In early alcoholism I only drank socially (although frequently to a blackout) and ended up drinking a magnum of wine per day.

As everyone says, no alcoholic wants to stop drinking. Alcohol is our higher power, the most important thing in our lives, more important than relationships, marriages, family and work.

This is addiction: years ago I went to a Japanese restaurant and got violently sick afterward. I didn't have sushi for many years ... and I didn't have to go to a 12 Step program to do it. But vomiting from alcohol, hangovers, depression, self-hatred, none of it resulted in me not drinking.

Sure, none of us can imagine life without alcohol. Not until I came within a hair's breath of dying because of this disease.
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Old 01-28-2012, 08:39 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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NM, you're here and posted. This is a great beginning! Diet soda isn't good for the body, neither is liquor, not in the quantities you're consuming. Eventually these may harm your health.

Productive non-drinker during the day, escape artist at night. I can definitely relate.

Glad you're here. Maybe listen to xa-speakers, lots of productive people speaking, I don't recall which names to suggest, maybe Paul O.

Best wishes to you, whatever you choose!

Hugs & love,
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Old 01-28-2012, 09:13 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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'Last night was tough. I came home with the will NOT to drink and what happens? I am an irritable jerk with a little something missing. So I run slam 6-8 shots within an hour and I'm like a completely different person that scared me. Anyone ever had that?'

Decide not to drink and then drink? Sure, did that often for a long time.

You'd think at some point I might have connected the dots, but I was absolutely convinced it wasn't possible for me to actually have an alcohol problem without my permission because...oh, just because I was incredibly special in so many ways.

Just for fun, try it again. It really is a pretty amazing thing.
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Old 01-28-2012, 12:44 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by TheNM11 View Post
@ Strangedays: Sounds like we had a very similar situation. I can't say its that I don't want to stop, because I know I SHOULD but going home and NOT drinking is unthinkable. I guess my question would be how long did it take you to get over the fact that you COULDN'T do it? I just feel like that would be impossible at this point. And what I am about to say sounds completely awful but I feel like my life would be boring without it.

Id like to think I can ween myself off of it like a smoker but that is just silly talk in my head right now.

ps: the more I talk the more I sound like I truly have a problem.

HUGE thanks to everyone who has replied so quickly.
"If you're bored, you're boring." lol

Seriously, my drinking life was predictable and monotonous - the same self-created drama over and over.

My sober life has been 100 times better. Career & social life, kids are doing great, dating, hobbies, fitness...get the picture?

But it was something I had to experience for myself.
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