Is it ok for me to go to AA?
 

I posted a link for Dawnie to AA meetings in the UK recently. I had a look myself and discovered there was one in my home town I didn't know about.

Now I know the only requirement for membership is a Desire to stop drinking, but do you AA folks think its OK for me to go when I did not use AA to get sober and have been so for nearly 2 years?

I have been to numerous meetings over the last 15 years or so, but was always an in and out kind of person with relapses. Although there are certain aspects of AA I don't 100% agree with, the knowledge gained from meetings, the big book, the steps etc. have been and are a big part of my recovery.

The reason for the question comes from comments I heard made at previous meetings about a guy who had joined AA after 4 years sober - a lot of quite nasty stuff, suggesting he was not alcoholic and had ulterior motives for joining a recovery group at that stage of his "claimed" sobriety? To be fair he was quiet a strange dude but I'm not sure he deserved the comments that were made.

So really I suppose I am nervous going for these reasons, but it would be good to have a face to face chat with some like-minded people again.

Of course... You won't be the only one with that experience.

I've seen similar situations at meetings. One woman I saw came back after 13 years just to get a chip. Nobody seemed annoyed or anything....I found it interesting if nothing else.

Truthfully, I think the majority of people in AA are good people and as long as you don't go in there bragging about how you didn't use AA to get sober but still got sober anyway, and act a little humble about being there on some level despite the fact that you are already sober and don't use AA, nobody should have an issue. And if they do, f*ck 'em!

It is important that you have an understanding of what AA means to you, and that you share that understanding honestly with fellow alcoholics. If you simply dont do the AA 12 steps, then there is not much sense in going to the meetings, imo, because of course you will be encouraged to work the program, and you will of course not do so, so what would be the point?

If it is simply fellowship and talking with sober alcoholics, then I would say so to the chairperson, and perhaps some members may wish to socialise with you after meetings or whenever. AA meetings themselves are not setup to be only social events -- meetings are a normal way for members to meet other members and share their experiences with working the program.

There is a difference between a member struggling to understand the AA program, and a member refusing, for whatever reason, to do and follow the AA program...

I'm sure, if you are comfortable with your sobriety, you can find AA members whom you can befriend, and from there enjoy a social experience outside of going to the meetings.

:agree

The reason for the question comes from comments I heard made at previous meetings about a guy who had joined AA after 4 years sober - a lot of quite nasty stuff, suggesting he was not alcoholic and had ulterior motives for joining a recovery group at that stage of his "claimed" sobriety? To be fair he was quiet a strange dude but I'm not sure he deserved the comments that were made.

Were it me, I'd go to AA with no reservations. I'd also go to another group, if possible. I've never heard anyone "publicly" question a person's attendance in an AA group. Many are court-ordered and forced to go, true. But, the point of doing so is that hopefully they will determine that it is where they need to be in order to maintain sobriety. I have to remind myself daily...strange dude or not, everyone deserves the right to be sober if they choose to do so.

Thanks for your help guys.

Appreciated.

Edited to add below.

Just to clarify although I have a spiritual program I am keen to work the steps and be a proper member. I am a practicing Buddhist and live as best I can within the precepts. I've just read Kevin Griffin's book again about Buddhism and the 12 steps and its really re-kindled my interest in AA and doing things in a more structured way.

My first instinct was to say "yeah, you're welcome anytime." Robby's response has me thinking a bit though.....and he's right. One of the problems within AA is the rather large group of folks who show up who seemingly have no intention of ever working the AA program. It's almost a group of hecklers who purposefully follow a comedian they don't like around to various gigs just to profess their dislike. That, to me, isn't so mature/healthy.

That said though....even if that was your plan.......and even though I wouldn't like it all that much.....I'd still invite you to my home-group - so long as you've got a desire to stop drinking.

I say that because I don't think 99% of the ppl who walk into their first meetings have any intention on working the WHOLE deal. Even those of us who are big supporters/believers (or whatever you want to call us) in the AA program probably were FAR less convinced early on. That said, I don't think it's my responsibility to judge who's should or shouldn't be there.....ever (even though, at times, I DO want to be that judge.....).

Also, don't forget the 12-Step forums here on SR. Not that I know it all and not that I've been around all that long but lemme tell ya, there are some damn fine AA members here on this website that have a WEALTH of knowledge they're only too happy to share. Please, feel free to post there as you'll likely get a more frank discussion of things "AA related" there.

Now I know the only requirement for membership is a Desire to stop drinking

If you've got that, you qualify.

:rotfxkoHAHAHA!! Thanks DayTrader! That made me laugh right out loud!! AWESOME!!

A review of AA's 12 Steps, 12 Traditions, "How It Works" and the Promises should provide anyone with a pretty good idea of what AA is about. I'm sure you would fit right in Chopper.
Wishing you the best.

Bob R.

Yes, you'll be warmly welcomed! I know people who first stopped drinking on their own, then went to AA.