InsertNameHere

I mainly just wanted to change threads I didn't want to have the same one that I started while drinking as my daily updater. I am past the 24 hour mark and other than tired am doing alright. My withdrawls aren't all that bad after the first day, so now I will just have to deal with the nagging desire to slam a beer or 20.

INH

Oh jesus I just realized that I spelled the title wrong and can't change it hahaha! Whoops, its not my fault honestly the "T" and "R" keys are right next to each other. (fail)

INH

InsertNameHere

Well anyhow made it home but not without difficullty, it was really hard to not buy anything at the store and when I got home I had more thoughts of it. So I went to my room and changed into "I am going nowhere clothes" and started to work on dinner. That has helped for the time being. And I figure that if I try to give into an urge later then I will at least have to change first and that might give me time to reconsider.

INH

camedown

I was going to make a supportive pun on your typo, but dammit I'm just not too clever this morning, sorry.

Huge congrats on making it through the day, I feel so grateful every time my head hits the pillow sober. Do some reading, even if AA isn't your thing, the Big Book has some great insight into alcoholism, and there are free online copies for reading all over the net. Or just read something else, ore play some loud music, or stare at your navel, or whatever, anything but drink. Good luck, can't wait to hear about day two, and three, and four, and so on.....


camedown

InsertNameHere

Morning of Day 3 less than 6 hours of sleep in two nights sounds like a pretty normal first week.

INH

violetflame

Good for you! You are doing better than me. I was going to start today after having yet another wonderful moment of clarity yesterday. They usually hit me around 3 am after waking up thirsty after having 4 small bottles of sutter home which is basically a bottle of wine. I keep thinking i can control it, but then the guilt over it gets me and of course I am worried about the long term effects of drinking and smoking every damn night. I feel like i am trapped and too messed up to care anymore. I worry about dying, I am very afraid yet there is this part of me that keeps thinking . Oh ur just going through a hard time. It will get better, Does it ever? I think my desire to quit has to be stronger than it is right now, I need to get at least one day sober so my mind will get into a better place, so...I guess I will try again tomorrow.

ARTEMIS

Congrats INH. I am reading a book that a bunch of people recommended- Under the Influence. It explains a lot about about alcoholism in a non judgemental way.
Take care

InsertNameHere

@Violetflame, I understand completley I fell pretty good when sober not really depressed or anything like that, it is the day one and a little of day two that I feel like $h!+ and am paranoid and depressed. While drinking I am having a blast, the littlest things are fun and I don't get depressed or anything, at least the first day. But then one leads to two, and so on and so on, until every day is a day one and I feel horrible all day, start showing up late to work, worried about whether or not people know that I am hungover, not getting things done that I need to. What I need to do is remember that feeling whenever the urge to drink hits me again, remember that the thoughts of yeah tonight would be fun to drink and you don't have to go to work on Saturday so why not, is only a half truth. Because while that may be so it wont be so fun when I am still drunk comming into work on Monday because I didn't stop at just that night. We shall see.

@Artemis, Good for you, I have a few books that I ordered but I haven't done more than read the first few pages. I think I need to set aside like 30 min a day to force myself to read them, and if they hook me and I want to read more cool that is fine but I have to read for at least that long. Hmmm I might just have a bit of a plan there.

INH

Sapling

Good to see you back at it INH...You have already explained to me what you can't do...and why. Question is...What can you do different this time than your last attempts? You can't just keep doing the same things over and over and over. You need some kind of a plan...Whatever it may be...It has to involve CHANGE. I really hope and pray that you make it...But what you are trying isn't working....Grab something and give it all you have....There is life out there without alcohol...I can tell you from experience that it is something worth working for. Give it all you got.

InsertNameHere

Thanks for the encouragement Sapling I am going to have to figure one out. I know that I just don't have a lot of ideas other than reading the books that I have. I Bought Rational Recovery and The Easy Way to Stop Drinking so I will read those for now. I am also (partly due to my drunkenness and partly due to my own procrastination) severely behind at work and it is going to take me quite a few long nights to get what needs done done. Probably a few weeks with all the normal stuff that needs to happen at the same time. I know that is not much of a plan (I tried it before) but it is what I have. I also have something at home that I have found a little bit of enjoyment in. (Warning geek moment) I started playing Starcraft 2 online and it turns out I am actually not all that bad when I am sober. So hopefully I can apply the one more game strategy that kept me up nights as a younger man to the urge to drink. ie okay I want a beer alright but first you have to go win two out of three in Starcraft (which will take at least a half hour probably an hour. Then there is forcing myself to read one of those books, and I need to start getting into the gym more often I just had a little bit of a wake up call again today only this time it was about how out of shape I have let myself become.

Anyhow I am rambling, and so ends day three.

INH

Edit: I forgot to mention I did attend a meeting in a chat room the other day and am lookiing into "Lamplighters" a link that someone sent me (I think ZenCat) on one of my previous posts.

sugarbear1

aa online chatroom

in the rooms

xa-speakers

try these 3 before lamplighters. lamps is ok, but I've been reading it, mostly people who know eachotheer & recovery is consistently debated. aa online chatroom & In The Rooms have online meetings, xa speakers has a lot of speakers from several programs. In my opinion, these are much better for a newcomer!

Best Wishes!

InsertNameHere

Off Topic post.

ARGH I had so many different and good plans for my time at work today and then they have to throw this last minute bull honkey at me that of course has to be done right meow! Took up my entire morning. ANGER!! Oh well that is the nature of the beast.

INH

Sapling

I've heard a lot of methods to quit drinking....This one is new to me.

InsertNameHere

Yeah I imagine it would be Sapling hahaha what can I say I am a nerd, well that and I am actually enjoying playing a game that I can't play drunk, well I can but I suck because it is to fast for me to keep up with when drinking. Which is kinda a big deal for me because I usually play games and drink but this isn't causing any form of a trigger because it is fun and I know that I can't play it drunk.

So its Friday and I had fleeting thoughts of getting beer on the way out to my car but dismissed them, also a song came on the radio that was all about drinking that made me think about it until it pissed me off a little and I almost shut the radio off. Than I noticed that I had only one soda left in the fridge and thought oh I have to go to the store, wait that could be a bad idea, it's okay I have juice or I can make tea I will be fine.

INH

Fubarcdn

I actually think playing video games may be a great thing to stay sober.
I haven't played since my kids were young but it did fill in the times when I was bored.
If I was drinking and playing Zelda I would usually get lost.
I am looking for other activities to replace drinking and this may be a good one if I can find my Nintendo 64 in my basement or maybe even my Atari. Those were the days.

Sapling

Maybe you two can write a book....

InsertNameHere

HAHAHA!! that would be rich "The Easy Way To Quit Drinking For The Alcoholic Gamer"

If it works I just might do that.

INH

NewBeginning010

Starring over sounds good... this time you are going to do it & get that star ;-)

It might be beneficial to try to to get to the point that you admit powerlessness over alcohol & that you never want to drink again. Reaching that point has helped me in my sobriety tremendously (re the win two games & I will have a beer later theory).

Its too easy to lose this game & its the most important game you will ever play in your life (sobriety).

P.S. I play Call of Duty online sober, I used to do it wasted & I am far better now ;-)

Sapling

You mean it worked for you?

InsertNameHere

I think that he is saying that he is far better at playing Call of Duty sober vice drunk like he used to.

INH

Sapling

I know that INH...Just trying to give you some hope.