InsertNameHere

My bad I wasn't sure but thanks! We shall see.

I think this is day five, yep just checked day five. I'm still doing fine but I have been here before might go get some sushi (if I can find the place that I have been told sells it and go to the local craft market that I haven't been to before, see what they got.

INH

Sapling

How you doing today?...I don't think you can get into much trouble at a craft market. I hope not....Hang in there INH.

InsertNameHere

Wondering if I should stop posting, I drank the last two days.... I hope to stop again today. Hmmm I am going to have to figure out something. Before I drank I went to the chat section because I figured I would just talk to someone and they could help me deal with the desire to drink, but no one was there. Argh! Then I started up my game but never actually got around to playing I just convinced myself to go to the store to get "soda" which was closed. better than the last time I suppose. Two days instead of four before I called it quits. But I really have to figure out a way to deal with the "urges". Most days I have no problem with not drinking but all of a sudden I will really really want a drink, and I haven't figured out how to say no to that yet.

INH

Dee74

what are you doing for support INH?

D

InsertNameHere

Yeah that is one problem I don't have much in the way of support except for here.

INH

Post37DayXfer

I went to the vitamin shop today and bought L Theanine to help with my anxiety ... weird thing was i was having a bit of a craving before I took and that stuff really relaxes you. Like you im a gamer so i started to relax and played some Skyrim and urge was gone. Its a supplement with no side effects. Im gonna try it if I get a hard craving and what it does. Good Luck!

InsertNameHere

@Post-I will look into the Theanine thanks.

Yesterday I went home and almost made it fine but then just sitting there in front of the computer I gave into the urge again.... I did force myself to buy Vodka instead or beer because I really don't like liquor it makes me gag, and I can't drink it as fast or as much as beer or I will throw up. That helped keep me from getting too drunk. I know, I know, it is still drinking. And I threw away what was left of the bottle this morning. The plan for tonight is right away when I get home change into the "I am going no where clothes that I have mentioned before and get into the chat room so that I have someone to talk to or start up a game. then try to go to sleep around ten, which probably wont work but if I can just get past that first couple of hours when I get home in the evenings I find that I am okay after.

INH

doggonecarl

Support is great. I don't know if it is essential. Sober Recovery...all the support in the world, we can't say no to the drink for you. That's on you.

I know the urges are strong. Relentless. But you can't stop drinking until you stop drinking. Sounds like a cliche, but it is the first step in recovery. You don't drink, no matter what.

Simple, but far from easy.

InsertNameHere

Well I can safely say that I will not be drinking today. Alright now if I can just get this down.

And Thanks as always for the thoughts Carl.

INH

Post37DayXfer

I started with beer and started drinking liquor because I hated it to ... and thought hey theres less quantity and its better than drinking 4 24oz's ... big mistake I eventually went to drinking a pint a day. Be careful its a slippery slope

InsertNameHere

alright going to get back on the wagon, well so says my hungover self. We will see what sober self says this afternoon.

INH

doggonecarl

It will say drink. And you will say, yes. Sadly, that's your pattern. What's goin' to change INH?

How about saying no!

InsertNameHere

I can't argue with you there Carl you are absolutely right.

INH

doggonecarl

I'd rather be wrong. When you want it bad enough, you'll get it. Sober that is. So keep trying.

Dazee

How are you now INH?

dawnrunner

Your thread title got me to write a poem for you:

Starring over, there goes the darkness;
All I wish to see are stars and clear lights.
Darkness intrudes. WTF? I want it nicer.
I want a life of fabulous nights.

Starring over. Where is my insight?
I only see strangely dark spaces.
All the world’s pain is still here inside me;
What can I do to turn out those lights?

Starring over. Dawn star is lighting.
Orion is standing strong in the sky.
Starring over. Venus shining.
Today I will follow love and light.

Post37DayXfer

Im on day 10 and the one thing thats keeping me from drinking is saving some cash for a new game that comes out on Tuesday. Im just trying to find reason's not to drink. I'll take any reason! Hang in there bud! And I swear EXERCISE is the biggest deterrence to drinking. Going for a nice long run kills the craving quite well. Good Luck!

InsertNameHere

I think I am still drunk from last night, I am at work but all I want to do is crawl under the desk and curl into a ball. I might here eventually. Not to sleep as I couldn't if I tried, but just to be quiet and not have to do anything. Just to lie there. It won't help get anything done I know that but it would feel better. I threw out all the beer last night, after waking up at two in the morning and pouring another, then realizing what a stupid idea that is, then got a glass of water and went to bed. Ugh today is going to be bad, all I look forward to is bed right now, but I will feel better here in a few hours. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, as I am not going to drink tonight. I have said that before though and did, but I can't as I have to be concious and alert in the morning.

INH

InsertNameHere

And, at 1:00 pm the anziety hits. Wonderful... Here in a couple of hours it will be the shakes as well. FML

No one to blame but me, I did this to myself, and there is a price to pay.

INH

InsertNameHere

Yep made it back to day one again. At least now I know when I am freaking out it is the alcohol withdrawal talking. That didn't stop the afternoon from sucking though.

INH