jamesgirl

This is a question for Dee and others who have benefitted from Urge Surfing. I read the links Dee provided (thanks!!!), but would like to hear a little more about it. Can you explain in practical terms how you got started and literally how you surf through those urges?

I'm going to my brothers this weekend for my niece's b-day, and there will be beer and wine and it will be offered to me. I haven't shared my sobriety with anyone in my family yet, but I already have a plan. I am planning on saying no thanks, and if pressed I will simply say that I am cutting back. I have a firm resolve to survive this first "test" and walk away stronger and healthier.

Although I have a plan, I also recognize that I will feel the urge, and I want to be prepared. I would love your tips and thoughts on how you use urge surfing to understand and accept the urge, but resist the temptation to give in.

Love and hugs!

jamesgirl

Btw, made it through dinner last night at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants where normally I would get one of their yummy margaritas. The feelings (cravings, resentment) were strong at the beginning of the meal, but by the time we were finishing up I was feeling very gratified and thankful! One thought at a time!!!

I literally thought about all of us on SR, our successes and failures, and was strengthened. Thank you ALL for sharing - the good and the bad. It helps!

Xoxo

bmwcycle

http://www.aliceboyes.com/urge-surfing/

Found this on-line, seems to explain the concept quite well.

In situations like these, family events child parties, I tend focus on why I am there in first place. I am there to celebrate, in this case your nieces birthday NOT to drink. When the urge hits me, I remember why I am there and see what I can do to enjoy the celebration more. Volunteer help the host with what ever activity that are planning, help serve cake and ice cream, engage with the niece about a gift she just received, offer to help the host make a list of the gifts given and from whom so that they can send thank you notes, offer to be take pictures. etc. Time will fly and before you know it you will be home safe and sober with terrific memories of your nieces birthday.

Good Luck

BackToSquareOne

Jamesgirl, the most important thing is to recognize that the cravings are just thoughts. The primitive part of the brain gravitates toward pleasure and away from pain. It remembers the pleasurable part of alcohol and says "I want that". In a sense it convinces the rest of the brain that it must have it. At the thought level though, the rational part of the mind can see the thought for what it is and let it pass through without acting on it.

The Rational Recovery, AVRT method might be useful for you as it forces you to see the thoughts for what they are. The secular recovery section has a lot on it : http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3199207

Dee74

Hi jamesgirl

I got into (what I later found others called) urge surfing by applying pain management techniques.

I really think this link (one of the ones I linked) explains it better than I could:

Mindfulness and Addiction: Part 3 | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

For me it was recognising that a feeling (or a craving) is not necessary something that needs to be acted on - I spent years mindlessly reacting to cravings never once thinking about it.

Without getting too new age, I found I am not my feelings.

I found do have the capacity to make other, better, more healthy choices in response to those craving stimuli.

The thing I found about urge surfing was it's a skill - and you can't call on a skill, especially in a high pressure situation, unless it's one you've practiced a lot beforehand

D

Bamboozle

Never heard of urge surfing before, but when I go into a situation where there is alcohol served I grab myself a soda pop or something without booze right away. It's handy when you already have a drink in hand...it's easier to say, 'no thanks, I'm good.'