2 weeks sober again
 

I can't remember how hard I tried last time but I fell way off the rails in the past 6 months. This time I'm giving it all up to God, it's been two weeks and I feel like ****. I'm aching when I try to drive, my wife and I aren't getting along, and I'm more tired when I wake up and late for work more often. In the past two weeks I've had someone vandalize a small house I own, my car's broken down, twice and my boss is acting like a jackass but I've never even considered having a drink. But nothing is going right since I quit!!!!! Has anyone ever felt like this? I can't find my keys, I'm late for meetings, I'm not on at all. I want to break free of thinking alcohol is making me successful, but I feel like I can't live without it, despite the fact that I'm not drinking and won't.:react

Are you getting to your meetings?

Congrats on Two Weeks! it gets a LOT better bud.. One day at a time! :c011:

Most of the times I quit things didn't go right - which led me back to the thing I did when things didn't go right...it was a self perpetuating and self defeating cycle, IH.

Early recovery is tough - no question - but so's the drinking life we had.

Things do get better - I doubt many of us would still be here in recovery if they didn't :)

welcome back to SR :)
D

Relax and give yourself time to heal. At two weeks your brain is only beginning to heal.

Please get a copy of Under the Influence by Milam - its a great book that will explain the physiology of recovery. It helped me immensly to know that what I was feeling and experiencing was normal, and what I could expect in the weeks and months ahead.

I think the real issue is that when you give up your crutch, (alcohol), life comes pouring in. Without the buffer the realites of day to day life hit you from every angle. One of the biggest myths out there is that once you quit drinking everything will be peaches and cream, for me nothing could have been further from the truth.

In my case in early recovery my brain seemed scrambled, bad decisions, losing things, forgetting things, all the little stuff seemed like major obstacles. I'd be working on something put a tool down and 10 minutes later have no idea where the darn thing got to. It was sort of like being in a fog while reality threw every curve ball it could come up with.

The thing is though as time passed the fog lifted, the little stuff began to seem like little stuff again. Things started to fall into place and life gradually began to take on new meaning. I found that recovery doesn't just happen, it takes one hell of a lot of work. Diet, exercise, keeping your mind active and working on self improvement from every angle you can think of are necessary if you don't want to get stuck in neutral or worse yet reverse.

You really have to learn to roll with the flow and not come unglued over the small stuff. At the end of the day almost all of it is small stuff.

I agree
 

with you "TheJungianThing". The last few months have been
(and while I am grateful to be sober) overwhelming. And it
has been with the most ordinary things, "just" regular life.
Today I could not remember where I parked my car. And found
it finally after walking around the parking garage for a while.
Thank goodness for car alarms..... :)
Some days when I am not so tired I am feeling short
bursts of energy, but they never last.
I am hopeful that eventually, with lots of time and effort,
I might feel better more of the time. I will say though, that I
have never felt so determined as now to stop. That feeling
keeps me going.
Hang in there. You can do it, we can all do it. :)

Think of it this way. If you were drinking you'd just have one more problem. After a year and a half of sobriety, I still feel like ****, although not as much as in the beginning, but using would more it all worse. Congratulations on the sober time.

I think giving up alcohol and drying out is a difficult in itself. It is very mentally and physically exhausting. What makes it even harder is having to do all the things that need done to continue everyday life (bills, job/lack of job,family, etc.)

Is there a possiblity you could take time off work to help deal with all these issues that come with going dry? As long as you meet certain criteria, by Calif. state law, you are entitled to take up to 3 months off work for medical/family reasons. You can claim disability for the time you are off work. Your doctor will be able to assist you with this. Again, this is in Calif. I would assume its the same for most other states. I would suggest you look into this.

The less you have to deal with, the easier your recovery will go (at least for me this was true).

Hang in there. Remind the family of what it is that you are going thru and ask them for thier patience and support.

I don't do AA so I cannot comment on that. I think talking to a doctor/psychologist that specializes in alcohol would be just as helpful.

A.G.L.A

irish - i am right there with you! dont give up! im not giving up! AUGHHHHHH ill scream with you though ;)

Thanks for the encouragement. I wish I could take time off work or go away to a recovery retreat of some kind but with young kids and my wife is very sick and pregnant I'm also trying to work more to get our financial situation above water before the next baby is born. I'm both shocked and disgusted with myself looking at the things in our family's life I've let get ****** up, drinking to ignore the negative concerns away.