What works for YOU?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
What works for YOU?
I've been pondering starting this thread for various reasons as I'm sure will be revealed momentarily. It has come to my attention for a while now that there are some wonderful sober members here who have a program non-AA based that works for them. I think it's only fair they be allowed to express and share with all of us and especially those who have tried or are apprehensive of AA what programs and how they work those programs have been their key to sobriety. Additionally, it will allow the newcomers to see a large sampling of all the wonderful programs and possibilities that do keep us sober as I didn't have that benefit when I came on board.... and blindly had to try to understand and figure out there were alternative choices. So I'd like to see what works for you? This is not meant to be an AA bashing thread as it will defeat the purpose. I hope everyone wil remain open minded and just listen to what others who have been successful have to share. Thanks for fueling my curiosity!
Recovery 
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Ok, Ok, I confess.
I am a non-AA recovery girl. Not that I'm anti - far from it. The books I've read on addiction (one of my favorite topics) have given me so much respect for that group, I would be an imbicile to knock them. And I'm not an imbicile, anymore!
I'm just a little rebellious. I needed to create my own personal exit. There was a book that helped me.
So if anyone wonders, there are other ways to go - but you have to be like me: addicted, willing to read and do excersizes to know about your problem, and desperate enough to try anything until something works! Any takers?
Recovery by Choice is a book by Martin Nicklaus (unhooked.com, $20). I read/did it and learned that you can run from yourself, but you can't hide. The reasons we drink are very personal, very intimate, and doing a workbook was my way of unearthing them. It also gave me a hand to hold: my own.
I posted my story over on Eddie's thread, Slow Burn, go check it out if you want. Today I have 4 months sober. Can't believe it!
There are so many aids out there for we who are recovering - SO MANY! We are really lucky to be fighting addictions during this age of information. And with this forum (which is THE BEST ONE!) and the people who love us at our side, we can't lose, as long as we don't give up.
Stepping off my soapbox now....humbly.
I am a non-AA recovery girl. Not that I'm anti - far from it. The books I've read on addiction (one of my favorite topics) have given me so much respect for that group, I would be an imbicile to knock them. And I'm not an imbicile, anymore!
I'm just a little rebellious. I needed to create my own personal exit. There was a book that helped me.
So if anyone wonders, there are other ways to go - but you have to be like me: addicted, willing to read and do excersizes to know about your problem, and desperate enough to try anything until something works! Any takers?
Recovery by Choice is a book by Martin Nicklaus (unhooked.com, $20). I read/did it and learned that you can run from yourself, but you can't hide. The reasons we drink are very personal, very intimate, and doing a workbook was my way of unearthing them. It also gave me a hand to hold: my own.
I posted my story over on Eddie's thread, Slow Burn, go check it out if you want. Today I have 4 months sober. Can't believe it!
There are so many aids out there for we who are recovering - SO MANY! We are really lucky to be fighting addictions during this age of information. And with this forum (which is THE BEST ONE!) and the people who love us at our side, we can't lose, as long as we don't give up.
Stepping off my soapbox now....humbly.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Jay and mountaingirl:
I too, chose AA in the first instance, as over here, it is really the first thing which comes to mind when we need help, ( to me anyway).
I am enjoying it, and it is working for me. Especially the " first drink" concept .
BUT, I have an open mind, and I am also doing the new Wine course online , at Setting the captives free. This also has ben a personal choice m, because i used to have a very close relationship with my HP, and I lost it, this is helping me to salvage it .
mountain, I think I might get your book that yoiu mentioned , and give that a go too, because I really need to understand , and deal with, the Real reasons I picked up in the first place , and I don't know where to start . I cannot see myself going to " therapy ", so this might be a clue .
can I buy it from Amazon?
Thanks for the input
HUGX and LUV
Lee
ps. I will use ANY tool that helps me stay happily sober !
I too, chose AA in the first instance, as over here, it is really the first thing which comes to mind when we need help, ( to me anyway).
I am enjoying it, and it is working for me. Especially the " first drink" concept .
BUT, I have an open mind, and I am also doing the new Wine course online , at Setting the captives free. This also has ben a personal choice m, because i used to have a very close relationship with my HP, and I lost it, this is helping me to salvage it .
mountain, I think I might get your book that yoiu mentioned , and give that a go too, because I really need to understand , and deal with, the Real reasons I picked up in the first place , and I don't know where to start . I cannot see myself going to " therapy ", so this might be a clue .
can I buy it from Amazon?
Thanks for the input
HUGX and LUV
Lee
ps. I will use ANY tool that helps me stay happily sober !
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Well, I guess I can confess I'm a non-AA girl also. I have huge respect for AA - they do a tremendous amount of good for people. But, I believe it's not a 'one-size fits all' world. I reached a point where I had to stop drinking - my whole life was about to fall apart, and so I stopped. I changed routines in my life immediately and found a very fulfilling job at the same time and I have stuck with it. No magic - just working at it every day. I work to keep negativity out of my life, which sometimes seems like a constant battle, but is a big downfall for me. And, I have faith in God. And, this board is a big help. In my opinion, anything that works is fine with me.
Hugs and love,
Anna
Hugs and love,
Anna
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Never can have enough tools to get the job done!.... okay don't be chicken... I know there are more of you with great programs out there.... don't make me start calling roll! *LOL*
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 27
I only have 5 and a half weeks, so I'm obviously no expert. However, I haven't gone to AA--not that I'm against AA (obviously), but I've felt the need to attempt to tackle this on my own first. If I start to feel that I need AA, I'll go running to the first meeting. But I have to say I want to try it first on my own. I've been trying to figure myself out--why I drink, etc. I guess we'll see how I do! So far--5 and a half weeks and no real stumbling blocks so far. I've just kept sobriety my priority...and I've been focusing on healthy living in general--diet, exercise, etc. Drinking doesn't really fit into the healthy living picture.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Non-AA'ers??... there's gotta be more than two of you!!
Good job Jennifer, but do find a means support there, it's very difficult to do this alone! There are many options out there! Rooting you on!
Good job Jennifer, but do find a means support there, it's very difficult to do this alone! There are many options out there! Rooting you on!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 27
Thanks everyone! Every week feels like more of a victory. I do have a support system--my husband! I know that it's not exactly the same, but it is a help. I don't want to let him--or myself--down! He's been great. I think the one thing that's really kept me from drinking is just thinking of how great I feel now. I was even able to stay strong through law school finals--and didn't go to the parties to celebrate the end of the semester. I just didn't want to take a chance so early in my recovery. I did, however, have some friends over and made a turkey dinner last night--that was my celebration! Another thing that has been a great help is this board. Even when I'm not posting, I'm reading. It's helped me stay strong. You guys are fantastic!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: at the computer
Posts: 121
Great idea Chy!
Congrats jennifer! you're doing great. I remember when you first posted. 5 1/2 weeks already? Wow time flies.
well, I don't know if I'm an AA-er or not. I'm certainly not against it. I've been to 2 meeting, and enjoyed the spirit there. I'm not a complete believer in the steps and the HP thing either, but the meetings have wonderful people and ooze support.
I started this recovery on my own by going to an AODA counselor and having an assessment done. I met 3 (of 7) criteria for alcohol dependence - which is basically alcoholism. I attended a "fundamentals of addiction" class, and learned TONS about the effect alcohol has on your body and neurology. I'm reading "Under the Influence" (thanks for the rec CarolD!) and still learning a lot. For me, learning as much as I can about alcoholism has been the biggest help.
If I could, I probably would go to more AA meetings. Just not feasible to go to more than 1/week with my schedule and life situation. To give up other things to go to AA more than that , or every night would be more damaging to my psyche than what I'd get from AA I think. For now I'm doing fine w/o attending a lot of meetings. But they are great, and the people are wonderful.
In short, for me the key is learn, learn, learn as much as I can. And - never pick up the first drink.
Jayhay
Congrats jennifer! you're doing great. I remember when you first posted. 5 1/2 weeks already? Wow time flies.
well, I don't know if I'm an AA-er or not. I'm certainly not against it. I've been to 2 meeting, and enjoyed the spirit there. I'm not a complete believer in the steps and the HP thing either, but the meetings have wonderful people and ooze support.
I started this recovery on my own by going to an AODA counselor and having an assessment done. I met 3 (of 7) criteria for alcohol dependence - which is basically alcoholism. I attended a "fundamentals of addiction" class, and learned TONS about the effect alcohol has on your body and neurology. I'm reading "Under the Influence" (thanks for the rec CarolD!) and still learning a lot. For me, learning as much as I can about alcoholism has been the biggest help.
If I could, I probably would go to more AA meetings. Just not feasible to go to more than 1/week with my schedule and life situation. To give up other things to go to AA more than that , or every night would be more damaging to my psyche than what I'd get from AA I think. For now I'm doing fine w/o attending a lot of meetings. But they are great, and the people are wonderful.
In short, for me the key is learn, learn, learn as much as I can. And - never pick up the first drink.
Jayhay
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Jay !
Yes , I saw that , tried recovery by choice , and found it , but had a bit of a problem with the order , I did not seem to be able o order just 1 ! LOL Will try again today , it sounds great to me ! Will give it a try jay
How you be anyway ?
HUGX
Lee
Yes , I saw that , tried recovery by choice , and found it , but had a bit of a problem with the order , I did not seem to be able o order just 1 ! LOL Will try again today , it sounds great to me ! Will give it a try jay
How you be anyway ?
HUGX
Lee
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: at the computer
Posts: 121
Hi Lee,
I just ordered the workbook through Amazon! It worked fine. Should be here by 12/20 - just in time for holidays!
My recovery is going pretty well. I'm feeling a bit lousy today though. I'm a bit impatient, and wanting the holidays to be over already. I'm just a little stressed, very tired, upset stomach, wheezing a little (I have asthma). I'm home from work early to get a little rest. Yeah, so what do I do instead of laying down for a while? Get on the computer of course
Ah well. Better go take a nap.
Later,
Jay
I just ordered the workbook through Amazon! It worked fine. Should be here by 12/20 - just in time for holidays!
My recovery is going pretty well. I'm feeling a bit lousy today though. I'm a bit impatient, and wanting the holidays to be over already. I'm just a little stressed, very tired, upset stomach, wheezing a little (I have asthma). I'm home from work early to get a little rest. Yeah, so what do I do instead of laying down for a while? Get on the computer of course
Ah well. Better go take a nap.
Later,
Jay
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Hi Jay,
I'll be your Recovery By Choice mentor! Because the producers of that book are not sold out to one way of recovery, there is a lot of room for you create your own success! It is written in general language to addicts, so that it can be of use to many different people. When you start to work through it, I'd love to compare notes. When I did it, I was thinking it would make a great month-long course with a group. I think I got mine in less than 4 days from ordering.
Good for you, you have made another commitment to a positive life!
By the way, the quote under your name is marvelous. I especially need to remember that as the mother of teen daughters! Yikes!
I'll be your Recovery By Choice mentor! Because the producers of that book are not sold out to one way of recovery, there is a lot of room for you create your own success! It is written in general language to addicts, so that it can be of use to many different people. When you start to work through it, I'd love to compare notes. When I did it, I was thinking it would make a great month-long course with a group. I think I got mine in less than 4 days from ordering.
Good for you, you have made another commitment to a positive life!
By the way, the quote under your name is marvelous. I especially need to remember that as the mother of teen daughters! Yikes!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Oh! great jay , I will try Amazon!
Yes , I was just thinking , I wish I could sleep away the holidays , I am dreading xmas , it will be the first one , that my son and his family will not be here , result of my drunken behaviour , and at the moment , unfixable, but i will be working on it , just need to be a bit stronger in my sobriety , cos he has the power to really hurt me, by his rejection, ( not his fault , tis mine) and I just don't think I can handle it right now . But will in the future !
have a good nap!
HUGX
lee
Yes , I was just thinking , I wish I could sleep away the holidays , I am dreading xmas , it will be the first one , that my son and his family will not be here , result of my drunken behaviour , and at the moment , unfixable, but i will be working on it , just need to be a bit stronger in my sobriety , cos he has the power to really hurt me, by his rejection, ( not his fault , tis mine) and I just don't think I can handle it right now . But will in the future !
have a good nap!
HUGX
lee
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Justme57
Lee I am so sorry to hear that you're dreading the holidays. Gosh, we've all done some awful things while drinking and I know that the pain of those actions follows us. It's hard to put things back together they way we'd like for them to be. Often I wonder why my children seem to have forgiven me! But, nothing is unfixable in a permanent way and I'm sure when your son and his family see the hard work you're doing and the enormous progress you've made, things will work out. My prayers are with you.
Hugs and love,
Anna
Hugs and love,
Anna
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