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Who Really Cares If We're Sober???

Old 01-09-2012, 06:41 AM
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Who Really Cares If We're Sober???

I was just think that society doesn't really care if I'm sober. I'm just not that important. 90% of those who drink alcohol are able to handle it and be responsible. I'm being responsible today, I suppose, but feel like I'm doing what I should of been doing all along. I am able to drive & have a car. I'm looking for a job & planning to pay off an old bank debt & be able to have a checking account. These are things that "normal" adults do. I have been sober a number of months now & don't even know my sobriety date. I have relapsed 245 times in the past so I don't think it should be a big deal. I guess I'm looking forward to being a normal square type citizen now. Instead of the panhandling, scamming staggering drunken bum that I use to be.
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Old 01-09-2012, 06:49 AM
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Was that a rhetorical question?
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Old 01-09-2012, 06:49 AM
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I'm doing what I should of been doing all along
Yep, I'd agree.

There's the issue of "what am I capable of doing" though. The way I see my past now, as crappy as parts of my past were, I really was doing the best I could do, at that time, with the tools I had available / knew how to use.

Now, I've got new tools, new knowledge, new help and new power. (bear in mind though, this stuff works now.....it likely won't be enough down the road. I've got to continue to be willing to grow and continue searching......)

FWIW, I didn't know my last drink date for about, oh....maybe 6 months. A friend of mine had to help me figure it out. It wasn't a big deal to me - the date anyway. I've never been a day-counter and it didn't matter to me if I had 11 days, or 12, 3 months or 5, etc.

I agree though, we're really just doing basic stuff, living life as we should have all along. Leave it to an alkie for wanting an award for not being horrible. LOL
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Old 01-09-2012, 06:50 AM
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Right now my probation officer does.
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Old 01-09-2012, 06:57 AM
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I'm not sober today because of society, I'm sober because if I wasn't I would be dead.

The oldtimers in my group said that if I can't remember my last drunk, then I'm doomed to repeat it. I believe them.

I remember my sobriety date, it is written in ink on my membership card at my homegroup and on my medallion that I wear around my neck. I have not relapsed because the oldtimers told me it would be worse next time around and I believe them.. I have seen it at the meetings.

I believe that I can put the word "yet" after any claim that I make that I'm not that bad.

If you are playing with this disease, then you have some very painful times ahead. It will bring you to your knees. You don't have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump.
I have been around long enough to see many people suffer and die at the hands of alcoholism. I wish you the best in your recovery.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:07 AM
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I care if I'm sober, and so does my family since they were the recipients of all of my horrible behavior when I was drunk. I have relapsed twice and each time it got worse. After my last relapse (horribly drunk on Christmas Eve, lashing out at my family and then falling and cracking a couple of ribs), I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if I relapsed AGAIN. No, no, no, not going there!
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:10 AM
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IDK...

Society does demand that we not be impaired while engaging in activities and occupations where safety of others is important. I think society does care, and in many instances people are given second and sometimes third chances.

I am, in fact, sober today because of society... society has certain expectations and I failed to meet one of them, and society gave me a second chance, and now I give back to society.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:11 AM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post

The oldtimers in my group said that if I can't remember my last drunk, then I'm doomed to repeat it. I believe them.
I'm not nit-picking you 2...... but I don't believe the ppl who say that. I don't have now nor did I have (back when I was first getting sober) any recollection of my last drunk. I was a blackout drinker.....I rarely remembered it. If I had to guess, I just sat at home, watched TV, got loaded and went to bed. I know my last drink date - I nursed 3 beers in a bar over 2 hours. It was 'controlled/normal/moderate drinking" and it was horribly unrewarding. Not knowing one and/or knowing the other hasn't really contributed to my sobriety all that much.

Page 24 of the Big Book, the part in italics, specifically warns us that remembering our last drink will be of no value and, it's entirely likely that we WON'T remember our last drink:
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

I was guaranteed a happy sober life IF I'd take certain steps. Thankfully for me, those steps don't include a lot of things I hear at meetings or from old-timers.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:15 AM
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Do it for yourself.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:39 AM
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Most of the folks who are glad I'm sober today don't know they're glad I'm sober.

Aside from my children and a few folks in the rooms I knew when I was still drinking, I have very few people in my life who knew me from my drinking days. The folks from before--either they don't care (old drinking buddies), or they're just glad they don't have to deal with me anymore (those who wouldn't forgive me), or they've died (both of my parents).

By the time I quit, my world had become very small.

So, the majority of the folks in my life today are people who've never seen me drunk. The women I sponsor are glad I'm sober. The company that employs me knows about my drinking history, and my superiors have made it clear they're glad I've brought the principles of my recovery to my job (no, I don't "professionally sponsor" -- I'm a peer support specialist, working with folks who suffer from mental illness).

The folks who don't know they're glad I'm sober are all the others whose lives I'm not inconveniencing or making miserable by exposing them to my active alcoholism.

And I care very much that I'm sober today. Wouldn't imagine saying that ten years ago.

Peace & Love,
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:44 AM
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I think I get the drift of what you're saying, Justfor1. Living my life day-to-day as a sober person, I sometimes stop and ask myself "So, this is how regular folk live their lives?" And sometimes I have an argument with myself, like when I lament the fact that I can't have a drink like a "normal" person, and then remind myself that "normal" people also don't start drinking at 1pm until they black out.

While drinking I always felt like an adult imposter, almost like I never really grew up in my own mind (despite the fact that I'm 30 years old). Being an "adult" was like playing a part, one which took a lot of energy. Now when I'm sober, I'm not nearly as concerned. I am much more capable of dealing with my adult responsibilities, and feel far less conflicted about them.

Sorry for the tangent, but your post hit a nerve today.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:45 AM
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Why should society care about anyone? What does it matter what anyone thinks. I suggest doing a gratitude list so you understand how blessed you really are ... today.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:46 AM
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You have the right to put alcohol in your body if you want to. And society really doesn't care. In fact, liquor stores, cab companies, restaurants, and ball parks are all very happy that people drink. You are free to drink as much as you want in your basement, but when that drinking starts to impact others and/or put them at risk (lashing out, angry, stealing, destroying property, driving drunk, insulting, etc.) then society begins to care.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Elisabeth888 View Post
Right now my probation officer does.
LOL! That was funny, made my day!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As far as who cares if we're sober, well, my addictive voice can surely ask that question anytime I am out of balance...

The answer is: Your soul, body and mind care!
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:53 AM
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I have had so many sobriety dates that I think it puts pressure on me. I once had 11 months & a friend was already planning a 1year party. Needless, to say, I relapsed before that year. I use to think that I deserved a medal for being sober & the city of Chicago should have a parade if I ever got a year sober. I think it's good that I'm realizing that being sober is taking responsibility. I always used the "disease concept" as an excuse to relapse. I think, for me, a big part of sobriety is growing up.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:55 AM
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I suppose society doesn't give us a special medal (or a parade, although that would be AWESOME) for being or staying sober. But general society definitely *does* care when we're active alcoholics. Society can be a bit reactionary that way.
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:09 AM
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I wonder what the market would be for bumper stickers.

"Proud [Parent/Wife/Brother/Sister/Son/Daughter] of a Recovered Alcoholic"

And yes, when I'm not doing inventory and living my amends - I think they should have one.

Hahahahaha
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Justfor1 View Post
I think, for me, a big part of sobriety is growing up.
I feel that way too. I like being a grown up.
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:30 PM
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Yeah, they don't give parades for doing what you're supposed to do...
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Old 01-09-2012, 03:40 PM
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Hell Yeah society cares if we're sober, because it's a lot less people using drugs, drinking and driving, and risking innocent people's lives. You might not get a medal for it, but imagine a world where nobody wanted to get sober, it would be pretty miserable. I don't think that's the point of this thread, but something to think about.

I really don't care what society thinks, I'm glad I'm sober and that's what counts most, because other people's opinions won't stop us from using and abusing. If it did, none of would be on here.
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