First 24 hours
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 25
First 24 hours
I just got 24 hours under my belt and it was a living hell. My nervous system was full of twitches from my face to my legs. I was weak with hunger and my stomach felt like a toxic waste. I had anxiety attacks that felt like I was going to pass out. I was nervous, scared and full of self loathing. I thought Iam never going to drink again over and over. Thats when I decided to post this...
Iam going to keep coming back to this thread to remind myself when Iam healthy and happy not to pick up that first drink I think I can control. Iam going to remind myself of the mental and physical pain that makes me crippled to even the slightest sound or light. That I couldn't eat or I'd be to scared to even sleep.
If anyone else has any other painful or scary stories post them here. As sick as it sounds I think remembering those painful times in the early part of recovery is the best way to prevent relapse.
(P.S. anyone think maybe the show Californication on Showtime should show the ugly side to alcholism too instead of glamourizing it, watched a marathon of it just thought I should throw that in there if anyone has comments)
Iam going to keep coming back to this thread to remind myself when Iam healthy and happy not to pick up that first drink I think I can control. Iam going to remind myself of the mental and physical pain that makes me crippled to even the slightest sound or light. That I couldn't eat or I'd be to scared to even sleep.
If anyone else has any other painful or scary stories post them here. As sick as it sounds I think remembering those painful times in the early part of recovery is the best way to prevent relapse.
(P.S. anyone think maybe the show Californication on Showtime should show the ugly side to alcholism too instead of glamourizing it, watched a marathon of it just thought I should throw that in there if anyone has comments)
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I'm so sorry to hear you had such a rough day, NewxYork. Detoxing is tough for sure, and it can be dangerous too, so you need to be very careful when doing it yourself. If you can have someone with you who can get you to a hospital if you need it, that would be helpful, or if you can see your doctor for a short course of meds to help you through the withdrawals, that would be useful too. If you really start to feel terrible, please make sure to get yourself some medical attention. This is my third time getting sober after two relapses, and this time I did go to my doctor before I detoxed so I could get some meds to help me. The last two times I detoxed were terrible as well ... shakes, dry heaves, sweats, headaches, nausea ... awful stuff. The meds were a godsend and got me through the first four days.
My last drunk resulted in me going on a drunken rampage against my family on Christmas Eve and then blacking out, falling down on a piece of furniture and cracking a few ribs. Christmas Day was spent apologizing for my behavior and nursing a horrible hangover as well as my ribs. That's when I said "Never again." Of course, I've said that before, but this time feels totally different. I finally got myself into AA, got a sponsor, and started doing the real work it takes to get sober. I will make it this time. I'm 9 days sober today and am more hopeful than I've ever been. I have definitely had my weak moments when I've wanted a drink - and I probably always will - but I have not caved into them, and what keeps me from doing that is remembering all of the ugly and terrible things that I've done and said when I've been drunk. I'd tell you about them but the list would be too long.
But I certainly relate to everything you've said and I think most people here can too.
You've made the right decision and you are going to find much support here. I'll be praying for you.
My last drunk resulted in me going on a drunken rampage against my family on Christmas Eve and then blacking out, falling down on a piece of furniture and cracking a few ribs. Christmas Day was spent apologizing for my behavior and nursing a horrible hangover as well as my ribs. That's when I said "Never again." Of course, I've said that before, but this time feels totally different. I finally got myself into AA, got a sponsor, and started doing the real work it takes to get sober. I will make it this time. I'm 9 days sober today and am more hopeful than I've ever been. I have definitely had my weak moments when I've wanted a drink - and I probably always will - but I have not caved into them, and what keeps me from doing that is remembering all of the ugly and terrible things that I've done and said when I've been drunk. I'd tell you about them but the list would be too long.
But I certainly relate to everything you've said and I think most people here can too.You've made the right decision and you are going to find much support here. I'll be praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 34
Welcome to SR NewxYork. I am right with desertsong. Totally messed up Christmas vacation with family and have injured myself many times over the past 15 years because of drinking. 9 days today without a drink. I am doing it on my own after reading many threads and learning about others. This site has been helping me stay off just by knowing others have been in the same situations I have, but everybody is an individual and you have to see what type of help is best for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Fl
Posts: 11
right behind you Sugarbear. 10 days and counting. This site has made such a huge difference.I've tried before, but never reached out to an entire community of people who are ready to support me. I want to return the favor and be an inspiration to others. 10 days...10 years...one minute at a time. New York, join us on this road to freedom. Freedom from being someone you're not. Someone created by the alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 25
Thank You all for your support, Im feeling better now after eating, taking vitamins and drinking pedialite. However Iam still worried I will fail at staying sober, it leads me to feel more anxious and restless. When will I stop worrying about worrying? This is my 3rd time trying to make this work and past results keep haunting me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Hi Newxyork
Am on day 8 myself and no withdrawals other than very scary dreams for the first 4-5 days. I kept waking up and was like a walking zombie during the day. It has passed now.
Just work through this safely. We are all here for you.
Sunny xx
Am on day 8 myself and no withdrawals other than very scary dreams for the first 4-5 days. I kept waking up and was like a walking zombie during the day. It has passed now.
Just work through this safely. We are all here for you.
Sunny xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
I know moderation doesn't work for me so I know another drink will lead me down the same path. That is keeping me focused. I want a new life and I can't get that with alcohol in the equation. It is normal to worry about relapse.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
NewxYork, what's your plan for sobriety?
I think it's important to have one. Mine included having a medical evaluation and talking honestly to the MD (very therapeutic!!), OP rehab, AA for awhile, then a combination of AA on my own and other sources, then relapse, then religion, then relapse, then coming to this board and discovering AVRT, then now.
Hope you skip some of my steps, and make it on through to a better day.
Take care of yourself and drink Gatorade or some other energy-drink with electrolytes.
I think it's important to have one. Mine included having a medical evaluation and talking honestly to the MD (very therapeutic!!), OP rehab, AA for awhile, then a combination of AA on my own and other sources, then relapse, then religion, then relapse, then coming to this board and discovering AVRT, then now.
Hope you skip some of my steps, and make it on through to a better day.
Take care of yourself and drink Gatorade or some other energy-drink with electrolytes.
once in a . . .
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
I don’t remember my last drink – just a lot of bad things that happened before that one . . .
Scary stories?
Waking up in colorado (I lived in iowa) in the a sleeper cab of a semi with a trucker I didn’t know – my 12yo son back in IA alone comes to mind - needless to say, I lost custody of him – bit of self-loathing and pain there
have any of you tried AA? It’s helped me TREMENDOUSLY – fantastic support
Very Best Wishes!
Blue
Scary stories?
Waking up in colorado (I lived in iowa) in the a sleeper cab of a semi with a trucker I didn’t know – my 12yo son back in IA alone comes to mind - needless to say, I lost custody of him – bit of self-loathing and pain there
have any of you tried AA? It’s helped me TREMENDOUSLY – fantastic support
Very Best Wishes!
Blue
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 25
I never tried AA what always worked for me was just avoiding places and people but during this holiday season I seen that doesn't work. I need to be able to turn down a drink no matter what the situation or cut out cravings even if Im watching something on TV.
Wow Moon that is scary...
I hope we all learn from these things
Wow Moon that is scary...
I hope we all learn from these things
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