onlythetruth

Ok, my bad!

endlesspatience

I went to AA today a few times. It gave me the push again to contemplate the nature of my disease and to use all the resources available to tackle it. I often see prominent people in AA and we all treat them the same we would anyone else.

TheJungianThing

This is all actually great stuff in my opinion. For my secular friends this what I've heard termed "God stacks the deck".

Meaning, there are so many roads to travel and they all get to the same place. Recovered.

Maintaining, as I believe, my spiritual fitness - requires continual inventory, admission of faults, and amends where due. It also gives me license to seek solutions via religions and presumably other "sober" minded programs. For instance - TIME MANAGEMENT. "Seven Habits...". Tried it when drinking. HaHaHaHA, didn't work. It's somewhat successful as I learn more about it.

But when push comes to shove, when I have to think of the "revolutionary" change that happened to me and removed the compulsion to drink - it was the result of inventory, admission of faults, prayer to have God remove those faults, and amends. Many of which are living (i.e. I won't be done until I'm dead) amends to folks like my family. That's the AA way.

I can't say I got to the point of "recovered" any other way. Although I might engage in the disciplines outlined via other programs to ENHANCE my recovered state ALONG WITH, but it wouldn't be wise to do instead of - AA. In my case.

Also, the folks that helped me were at AA and practiicing AA. I do feel a sense of obligation to be of service (i.e. be there to help NOT RECRUIT) to someone SEEKING help and willing to to be helped.

I'm glad though that there are a variety of ways people recover, as vast as the varities of alcohols consumed I imagine.

onlythetruth

But the bottom line, LeanaJo, is this, and to answer your question: plenty of us here, who have successfully quit drinking, are not in AA.

LaFemme

Hi!

Just adding another person to the non-AA group. I've never been and use no formal program...SR is my only support. And yes I was an alcoholic.

zbear23

blessings I think it was Bill Wilson....or somewhere else in AA literature that says unequivocally that knowledge is not the cure. I know lots of people who are very educated and informed about AA, yet they cannot seem to stay soberl Maybe it really isn't a drinking problem. Maybe it's a thinking problem.<G> Hmmm. I think I've heard that somewhere before. LOL

blessings
zb

mattparadise

I don't use AA either. I found it to be too cult like and unhealthy. My own way has worked far better in addition to the wonderful support I get here.

onlythetruth

Or maybe it's that AA isn't the right path for them.......

gaffo

My story is exactly the same as LaFemme's. I didn't like AA before I quit drinking. I felt threatened by it. I really don't know why. Now I think they're great for whoever goes. We're all climbing the same walls is the way I look at it. Whatever works!

FBL

I'm another non-AA person here (over 2.5 years sober after a nearly 30-year drinking career). I've done it with the support of family & friends and this website. The bottom-line is that we recover, regardless of the method(s).

NYCDoglvr

I'm in AA but recommend seeing a physician who specializes in addiction because there are new meds that cut the craving. In addition, cognitive therapy is wonderfully useful for someone getting sober. Good luck!

Regarding AA, if it's only a personal problem with someone else that's keeping you from AA but otherwise it works, go to a different meeting and/or work the problem out. We alcoholics -- this one at least -- are pretty thin skinned

midgetcop

I'm not an AAer either. I went to quite a few meetings the last time I tried to get sober, and although I have nothing against the program specifically, I just found it wasn't the right fit for me. I wasn't really working the steps, and I was terrified of putting myself out there to get a sponsor. Being a lifelong wallflower, I think that AA put me in a social situation that I just wasn't ready for.

I currently see an addiction counsellor one-on-one and constantly lurk in the SR forums. I'm reading and re-reading many of my books on alcoholism and addiction. One of my favourites is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. Everything she says in that book tells the story of my life.

It's been said over and over but is worth repeating: follow whatever method works for *you*.

2granddaughters

There is a big difference between "dry" and "sober".

I had/have a 5% drinking problem and a 95% thinking problem.

My very best thinking got me to AA. The first half of the 1st Step got me dry.

The other 11 1/2 Steps are getting/keeping me sober.

I wish everyone the best in their chosen recovery path.

Bob

Terminally Unique

What might that difference be?

least

SR every day and counseling once a week. been sober a bit over two years now.

TheJungianThing

Good question. I can't answer it with the words "dry" vs. "sober" as they really mean because they "really" mean the same thing more or less. The false dichotomy (is that what it is) is more or less painted and it AA's vernacular at least, it's understood.

Rather than used to describe a physical state of being without alcohol it's used to describe a state of being. The correct term for me would be an *******. For instance, I can be an ******* without drink, I can be an ******* with drink. Mostly, with the drink, I was an *******. Take the drink away from me and guess what - I'm an ******* (dry)

Now, show me that ******* and let me see how ugly that is and actually start to change a bit and become less assholy - I get to what AA might call "sober".

So inventory let's me see - Am I being an ******* ?
Telling someone else - "Man I might be an *******, here's why, what do you think ?"

Allows me to hear them say "Yeah, you're being a real *******" Then I can get willing to have the root cause of my assholiness removed.

Then I can ask this Higher Power to assist me in removing this assholiness - especially if it interferes with my usefulness to my fellow human beings.

Then if I harmed anyone throughout my being an ******* I can make amends to them by saying "Hey, I'm a real ******* sometimes, I get so prideful that I never think I"m wrong - but I was wrong - how can I make things right".

Then I do what's been suggested. Up to and including ******* off if the person says I should do so.

Then I walk away a little more humble and little less prone to being an *******.

So now, I"m sober. I've found a new freedom and new happiness. I don't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I can see where my experience might help others, the fear of financial insecurity leaves me and I walk freely. A worker among workers, a friend amongst friends, able to perform my duties in life that I've been allowed to participate in as dictated by the roles in life I've been assigned. Recovered alcoholic, husband, father, son, brother, friend, employee, servant to my community and state.

I become less selfish, less self centered, and a lot less tense and rigid. In short, I become less of an *******.

But I agree, "dry" vs. "sober" doesn't really cut it unless one is communicating with another recovered member of AA, and AA should really seek better words to describe the difference. But if most assholes are like me, they tend to get defensive when other people call them what they are and suggest "You're an ******* now that you've stopped drinking".

There's a reason for that too. I mean if I get to the point that I"m such an ******* to the people around me that even the people that bugged me to STOP drinking, can't stand to be around me because I have STOPPED - and don't stop reminding them of that fact - they might just suggest .... "For Christ's sake, if you're going to be such an ******* why don't you just go back to drinking".

Aaaah, this alcoholics dream at one point. Finally, they get it.

Anyway, that's my take on the difference between when I'm just not drinking vs. when I'm actually practicing the daily disciplines of inventory, honesty about MY faults, willingness to change, allowing myself to be changed, making amends and my favorites - prayer and meditative practices.

Hope I helped and didn't sound like an *******.

BASEjumper

So did AA remove your a**holiness?!??
:*******:

vinepest

Almost 4 years sober here without AA.

Without anything else either.

TheJungianThing

The fellowship showed me how to incorporate the steps - the spiritual toolkit - I use. The toolkit gets me in touch with a power greater than myself. That power seems to be sufficient enough to remove my head from my ass - and apparently less prone to being an *******.

But aside from a physical allergy to alcohol and a twisted mind I seem to have a curvature of the spine that left unattended - allows my back to bend over to the point where my head can get buried back into my ass.

I always found it interesting that Dr. Bob was a proctologist.

Sapling

I'm glad you have nothing against it...But it doesn't sound like you gave it much of a chance. I think getting a sponsor and working the 12 steps are probably the 2 most important things you should do....The only thing I can think of being ahead of that...Would be getting honest with yourself. Good luck on your journey...I hope it works for you.