crisco

Hello Everybody,

I get so much worry about work. I have about five months of sobriety. I want to drink over my job at times because I get so much anxiety about it. I am scared of losing of my job because either of (i) bad performance or (ii) getting fired over some security issues that happened six months ago.

I want to drink sometimes to take away the pain of stress of my job. I fear losing my job and never getting another one because I really screwed up this job. I get panic attacks and want to drink to avoid over the pain. I have not relapsed so far, but I always fearful that I will because this job I get obsessive about fear. I spent a lot of my spare time worrying about thi sproblem and think about drinking.

It is government job with real good benefits and I do not want to look for another job. I fear unemployment and being unemployed for a long time. I am totally to blame for my issues at work. I feel that I am slow and inefficient and I fearful of talking to my boss where I am in my assignments. I feel that I have to work unpaid time to get things done.

I am afraid to go my boss to ask his expectations initially and then get things done.

I feel like that my job is the most important thing in my life and that I will drink if I lost because it was my fault. I had this job for about nine years and half and I believe everything is downhill.

I feel this fear is holding me back in my sobriety. I accept that everything was my fault, but I have difficulty living with the consequences and remaining sober at the same time. I struggle to find happiness in my life and feel that life would be useless if I become unemployed.

How you would handle this fear and remain sober? How do you handle unemployment when its your fault and not a layoff? How do remain positive through this issue?

NYCDoglvr

I can relate to how you feel. Early sobriety was an emotional roller coaster and fear was frequently part of the ride. Do you have a program? I couldn't have gotten sober without the fellowship of AA, where I could talk about painful stuff like this. Talking about it with someone who understands cuts the power of fear in a big way. If I'd tried to go it alone I wouldn't have been able to handle these things.

Understand that fear is only a belief and emotion, it has nothing to do with reality. It helps to reel your mind back in and focus on today. None of us has any power over what might happen in the future or even tomorrow, we can only take action today. I came to see that I'd make a lousy fortune teller because nothing I feared happened.

Do you really believe that drinking would help your fear? I think not.

This will pass as all emotions do. It took me quite a while to understand this.

kr9499

I am EXACTLY like you my friend. So much so that I registered for this forum after reading your post. I have had anxiety and fear regarding the possibility of losing my job for over 19 years now.

I am never at peace, I never make long term plans or goals because I always feel I am on the cusp of long term unemployment. It is ironic because after 19 years of worry I have kept my job longer than just about anyone does anymore!

This anxiety and uncertainty has been a huge factor in my problem drinking. Sometimes I've been so worried about losing my job I have considered getting myself fired just to relieve the anxiety and uncertainty, how stupid is that?

Realize that these fears stem from deep seated, irrational feelings of inadequacy on our parts, probably stemming from events deep in our past we have long forgotten, perhaps fear of abandonment. I know many better than me and many worse than me have lost their jobs and recovered and actually wound up better off.

In fact, I often suspect those that succeed best at their jobs are those that are the ones most NOT afraid to lose their jobs, as they are not frozen by fear and uncertainty.

I know in my heart that you and I are capable, conscientous people, and we will be fine no matter what the fates throw our way.

Don't drink, its lame and it increases irrational anxiety and makes you weak (and could even lead to a self fulfilling prophecy).

Instead, be strong, clear headed, healthy, confident...embrace the wonderful uncertainty of a life well lived, throw caution to the wind. let us venture boldly each day into our workplaces, knowing that everybody right now is uncertain and often afraid in these difficult times.

I feel you are a kindred spirit, thank you for sharing.....if you ever want to talk...I've got your back.