Relapsed after 7 months. I hate myself so much right now :-(
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
I relapsed after 5 1/2 months and I too thought it was the end of the world and felt horrible after it happened. Well it's not, and 10 months later things couldn't be better. I know people say relapse doesn't have to be a part of recovery, but for me it was beneficial in showing me that I truly do not have a using life. It's just not for me and will hinder any prospect of having a productive and fulfilling life. So learn from this experience, embrace it, and deal with it. So it won't happen again.
You will have to do things differently, if you don't want this to happen again. Good Luck!!
You will have to do things differently, if you don't want this to happen again. Good Luck!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 83
So you've gone 7 months and spent one day drinking, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Take a breather and pick up where you left again and dismiss that one day anomaly as a fluke. What is one day compare to 7 months? Get back on the field and continue the battle.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by Joybot 
So you've gone 7 months and spent one day drinking, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Take a breather and pick up where you left again and dismiss that one day anomaly as a fluke. What is one day compare to 7 months? Get back on the field and continue the battle.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by DayTrader
Big questions, ya know? I'm no dummy, I knew there was only one answer for someone who drank like me. I needed something to protect me from me. I needed some power that I didn't have. I needed a shield around me 24/7 that I didn't have to consciously remember to carry and use. And like Keith said, I needed a complete change in my head. I needed to be a different person or I'd continue to do the same crap I was already doing in spite of not wanting to.
AA has 75+ years of providing a simple way to get exactly what I needed - a complete overhaul. No triggers to avoid, no worrying about what others are doing or drinking around me, no more worry about being "struck drunk" again, just follow the program that, lol......a lot of other "dopes" seem to be able to do, and my life hasn't changed for anything but the better in every area I can think of since I got started.
AA has 75+ years of providing a simple way to get exactly what I needed - a complete overhaul. No triggers to avoid, no worrying about what others are doing or drinking around me, no more worry about being "struck drunk" again, just follow the program that, lol......a lot of other "dopes" seem to be able to do, and my life hasn't changed for anything but the better in every area I can think of since I got started.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Murfreesboro,TN
Posts: 16
Stop beating yourself up, just dnt continue on that same road. Try to do sumthing a lil diff this time like going to meetings ang working the steps getting a relationship with your higher power! Good luck and remember ONE DAY@ A TIME
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Nick
I'm sorry you faltered, but I think beating yourself over it is a waste of energy.
That energy's far better put to thinking about what you need to do to now - what do you need to add to what you've been doing? do you need more support for example?
I don't know whether 'family' for you is parents, or wife and children, but depending on your situation maybe you need to think about whether telling your family might actually be a good thing?
Maybe they need to be involved in this too - I dunno. Your call.
Personally I found trying to keep secrets was an added burden I didn't need to bear.
I recommend seeing a Dr too if you're worried about withdrawal
I know you'll find a lot of help and encouragement here - welcome
D
I'm sorry you faltered, but I think beating yourself over it is a waste of energy.
That energy's far better put to thinking about what you need to do to now - what do you need to add to what you've been doing? do you need more support for example?
I don't know whether 'family' for you is parents, or wife and children, but depending on your situation maybe you need to think about whether telling your family might actually be a good thing?
Maybe they need to be involved in this too - I dunno. Your call.
Personally I found trying to keep secrets was an added burden I didn't need to bear.
I recommend seeing a Dr too if you're worried about withdrawal
I know you'll find a lot of help and encouragement here - welcome
D
I relapsed as well about two months ago. And the guilt was pretty bad the first couple of days but then I talked about it with my therapist and some friends in recovery as well and realized everyone stumbles and slips the key is to get back up again and keep riding it out.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by sarah78
In my VERY humble opinion.. and how do I convey this properly?...
For lack of better wording...You SHOULD beat yourself up about it, so to get serious about what actually transpired. However, I do not mean continuously feeling sorry for yourself (this is wasteful and will get you nowhere) but realize this is quite serious.
For lack of better wording...You SHOULD beat yourself up about it, so to get serious about what actually transpired. However, I do not mean continuously feeling sorry for yourself (this is wasteful and will get you nowhere) but realize this is quite serious.
Beating ourselves up, with the idea that this action of self-abuse will aid us in getting serious about what actually transpires in a relapse, well with all respect, I don't agree with that.
You know, beating myself up only helped to sustain my relapses, and even set me up for my future relapses. It may seem trivial semantics possibly for some people, but beating myself up for drinking was always the very worst action I could have taken, and I speak from my own experience.
It was only when I had unconditional compassion on myself, forgiving myself for returning to drinking, giving up my guilt and regret, my remorse and my resentments for failure once again ==> only after having those redeeming actions of love for myself was I able to *actually learn* from my mistakes and move forward with my sobriety.
Those actions of real time love accomplished far more aiding me in getting honestly serious about my relapses, and my sober behaviors, and lifestyle.
It is really good to hear you being so self-examining of your past alcoholic relapses Sarah, and that kind of rigorous honesty will always serve you well in your ongoing sobriety, imo.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by sarah78
Bad choice of words, admittedly. It's hard for me to convey my point over the net. I wholeheartedly do not want the OP to sit there and feel like s**t about what happened. But I do want him to feel bad enough that he hopefully takes the time to be completely honest with himself about his relapse.
I need to be brutally honest with myself, and that means being hard on myself too..it's like the saying...something about crazy can't fix crazy?? ya that's me for now. I am just truly discovering that I am indeed an alcoholic and all that entails, so prb best not to listen to me anyways
take what you want and leave the rest and thank you robby for your kind words
I need to be brutally honest with myself, and that means being hard on myself too..it's like the saying...something about crazy can't fix crazy?? ya that's me for now. I am just truly discovering that I am indeed an alcoholic and all that entails, so prb best not to listen to me anyways
take what you want and leave the rest and thank you robby for your kind words
You're awesomely totally involved with your sobriety, it shows, and that is very encouraging for all other sober alcoholics!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
For the next few months this may play with your head and you're in some danger of blowing it big time.
If you can learn what you can from this and see your alcoholism more clearly you may benefit from the relapse, with a stronger answer than you were relying on before.
You now know you'll drink after a while when you've decided firmly that you're not going to drink at all and have learned your lesson for sure and have gained some valuable information from rehab. That's worth knowing.
Getting sober every 7 months or every couple of years is a stone drag. Find the people who get by fine for decades without booze or drugs and do the same as they do.
If you need to run this short track again then do, but it's really no gain for you to do so.
If you can learn what you can from this and see your alcoholism more clearly you may benefit from the relapse, with a stronger answer than you were relying on before.
You now know you'll drink after a while when you've decided firmly that you're not going to drink at all and have learned your lesson for sure and have gained some valuable information from rehab. That's worth knowing.
Getting sober every 7 months or every couple of years is a stone drag. Find the people who get by fine for decades without booze or drugs and do the same as they do.
If you need to run this short track again then do, but it's really no gain for you to do so.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by NickCFC
I'm disgusted by the idea of drinking but I'm scared that this relapse has put me right back to square one as far as the addiction/withdrawal goes.
That's my main concern right now.
That's my main concern right now.
I'm thinking your first withdrawal was likely after YEARS of you beating your body up with the alcohol. This is a one night slip up. You'll likely feel a hangover and shame, but I doubt you're physically as bad off as you were from only one night. (Although I don't know what happens when coke enters the equation.)
However, if I am correct, remember that is a slippery slope and part of the alcohol trap. The back of your mind could be thinking "Wait, I handled it fine, I'm cured and can therefore drink!" and then 1 slip up in 7 months quickly turns into a weekly or daily occurrence and you WILL be back where you started (and likely worse).
So don't beat yourself up thinking you're doomed to fail (that'll put you right back on the sauce) but also don't think that what you did was at all okay, either.
Sounds like you got so used to not drinking that you forgot you had a problem. Not the end of the world. Learn your lesson BUT be proud that you went 7 months by only drinking once! Now try to beat your record :-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 443
Whatever you do, don't let the shame and guilt keep you from going back to your AA group. Because of those and all the other negitive emotions, I stayed out WAY longer than I should have after relapsing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Coventry, RI
Posts: 61
I noticed you said that you "can't talk to your family about this." I never discuss my alcoholism with my family because that's not the proper support venue. The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is. They are the only people who have ever been able to really help me.
If you're not going to AA, then your disease is blocking you from going.
The day I entered the rooms of AA was the last day I ever took a drink. But even then, I had to go through the 12 steps to reach one of the most wonderful Promises...by step 10 we become neutral to alcohol. We neither fight it nor swear off. Imagine that? It's nice.
Hope.
If you're not going to AA, then your disease is blocking you from going.
The day I entered the rooms of AA was the last day I ever took a drink. But even then, I had to go through the 12 steps to reach one of the most wonderful Promises...by step 10 we become neutral to alcohol. We neither fight it nor swear off. Imagine that? It's nice.
Hope.
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