I made it my week
Timetochaonge: I honestly thought about posting like it had never happened and just keeping my day count rolling but I thought what is the point of posting at all and using this site if I am not honest with myself and everyone here. Thanks for the advice, you too Sapling. I am not going to stop working at this.
INH
INH
Took a break for a while and hit another low point after four nights. Talked to a good friend of mine and some family and they helped me admit that I need to get whatever help I can. I have someone that has moved in for the next couple of weeks that can help me not just with this but proffesionally as well which will help with a major stressor. I am going to start trying again and I admited my problem to him which he was actually pretty cool with it. Day two.
PS man that first afternoon/night sucks.
INH
PS man that first afternoon/night sucks.
INH
I missed this thread when you started it IHN but as I read it, at first I smiled but that smile was short-lived. I remember when I was trying to get sober. I'd go maybe a couple days and then BAM, I'd get drunk......and I mean REALLY drunk. Wake up, hate myself more than I did yesterday (which was already off-the-charts levels of hate), swear that was the last time, and do the whole damn thing over again.
Each time I hit a couple days, I'd start to get excited.....but then that excitement was quickly displaced with the fear (or the realization) that I'd have to keep this up FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I sure didn't know everything but I pretty-much knew that I couldn't keep myself sober forever. It also started to become apparent to me that I'd need to get this sobriety thing.......forever.......OR ELSE. (and the "or else's" were kicking my butt darn good).
That realization however, is what got me to give AA a try. LOL.....I didn't necessarily WANT their solution early on but it was obvious I was running out of options.
Each time I hit a couple days, I'd start to get excited.....but then that excitement was quickly displaced with the fear (or the realization) that I'd have to keep this up FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I sure didn't know everything but I pretty-much knew that I couldn't keep myself sober forever. It also started to become apparent to me that I'd need to get this sobriety thing.......forever.......OR ELSE. (and the "or else's" were kicking my butt darn good).
That realization however, is what got me to give AA a try. LOL.....I didn't necessarily WANT their solution early on but it was obvious I was running out of options.
Day three went fine, no issues other than can't sleep because I am all figity at night no matter how tired I am (really tired) but I think tonight I will take a couple advil PM and try to get to bed earlier it worked out alright last time. Also I really need to drink more water man I am dehydrated.
INH
INH
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I have a simple question for you INH....Have you ever tried going to an AA meeting? Reading the Big Book? The reason I ask...Is because there is no possible way I could have quit drinking on my own...And it worked for me. Maybe you have...Maybe you haven't...But it sure can't hurt.
I have cracked open the big book but not read all of it. well no where near all of it to be honest. and maybe one day AA would be a good idea for me, for now I could do online meetings but not physcial ones as I am not in a country that has stuff like that and if they did it wouldn't be in english. But thanks for the ideas you are no where near the first to say this and belive me I would actually like to go to one to see if it could help and to see what they are like. But for now at least and for the next almost two years it is just not an option.
INH
INH
I am trying to keep that my personal identity as anonymous as possible, sorry to be rude but I don’t want to risk any professional entanglements with my presence on this site. So what country I am in I would prefer not to say. I will say that it is not overly developed (but not bad compared to some around it), barley anyone speaks English, and I don’t speak the local language. I have done some searching but web sites for things like that in that in this country/city but nothing comes up. I have been to the AA genral services office site and my country isn’t there. Thanks anyhow, really.
INH
INH
On day four now. I am feeling fine the last time I did this I felt fine as well though so I am a little worried about day 7-10 but I am not there yet so I am trying not to worry all that much plus with someone in my house I will be a little dissuaded as I was never one to drink like I normally do in front of "strangers". A poor reason I know and setting myself up for faliure once he leave possibly but it is what it is for now.
INH
INH
Still hanging in there no problems to report so far, my house guest brought a bottle of gin home and as far as liquors go (I generally don't like liquor) Gin is up there as one that I like. I was tempted a little but not very much just passing thoughts immedioutly beat down by the knowledge that if I had one Gin and tonic I would want to follow it with how ever many it took to finish the bottle. So when offered my answer was no thanks.
INH
INH
Still here played games and watched movies till 1:00 am then finally went to bed, then its up at 5:45. I guess this is one price I will have to pay not sleeping because I didn't really sleep before I started drinking on a daily basis anyhow, but its not like I was "rested" when I would pass out at 11:00 pm anyway is it. I do feel better than I would hung over it just seems that I notice the tired more without the hangover to cover it. Like the movie Major Payne when he breaks a mans finger to take his mind off of his gunshot wound, now that I am not hung over I actually notice how tired I must have been even then.
INH
INH
you'll get over the broken sleep and tiredness INH - hang in there
Everyone's different but I found trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour helped - if I stayed up too late I missed my window of opportunity sleep wise
D
Everyone's different but I found trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour helped - if I stayed up too late I missed my window of opportunity sleep wise
D
Thanks Dee, its not that it bothers me all that bad, like I said I was like this way before I started drinking heavily. I used to stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning playing games and then be up for work by 5 or 6 most of the week usually by Wednesday I would be so tired that i would fall asleep with my work clothes and boots still on whenever I got home and wake up at around 1 or 2 in the morning take them off and go back to sleep. I was infamous at work for sleeping during lunch breaks or whenever else I got a chance so it is something that I am used to, or was at least. Then I started drinking daily and "going to bed" earlier (sometimes others not so much), so I guess I will just have to adjust back to how I was or see if I can't improve on it. Yeah not healthy I know but it has to be better for me than drinking till I pass out every day.
INH
INH
Came into work today just to get ahead of Monday so I figured that I would post that I am still here and not drinking. Having someone else in the house has really helped, otherwise I can't be sure that I would not have gone to the corner store last night for a 12 pack of Heniken tall boys. Now I just worry slightly about what will happen when he leaves. Its not like the anxiety type of worry or even that great of a concern as I am a pretty laid back guy normaly (with the recent exception of the day one after a binder), in fact probably to laid back, meaning that I might not be taking this seriously enough. Oh well we will see what happens when we get there.
INH
INH
At work again crazy things going down, but not to crazy just things that require a little after hour effort. but tonight will mark another week. I would celebrate but admitadly if it wasn't for the guest I have in my house I almost garentee I would have been drinking last night. Hell even with him there I was plotting in my head to turn off the lights and go to the bar instead of drinking at home and just hope that he thought I went to bed. I didn't but I planned it in my head more than a few times. I probably could have gotten away with it, but I didn't want to risk it.
INH
INH
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