desertsong

I am seriously DONE this time. I know I've said it a million times before (haven't we all) but after spending 2 months sober and feeling great, and then letting myself fall off the wagon and feeling horrible every day for the past month ... it's time. Jack Daniels and I are parting ways. I'm tired of being tired every day, dysfunctional, overwhelmed, and disgusted with myself. The two months I spent sober were some of the best of my life. Why I let myself go back to this is beyond me ... I told myself I'd never let myself go back to the place where I HAVE to drink to feel "normal," but here I am. Waking up in the morning with the shakes and the sweats ... now it's back to the doctor for a Librium prescription so I can sober up and not feel the pain of withdrawal. Would appreciate your support. I know you've been there. It is wonderful to have a place like this to come to where people have experienced your pain and understand what you're going through. Thank you.

Sudz No More

Welcome back Desert, nail the box shut good this time. Remember how bad you felt the next time you get the urge.

langkah

Good for you DS, hope you can get to the Doctor in time to avoid feeling bad. Hang in there.

Dee74

welcome back Desertsong
What are you planning to do differently this time?

D

desertsong

Thank you. Dee, I honestly don't know. I guess the one thing I haven't done is find a support group like AA. Tried to do it all alone ... and while living with another drinker. Doesn't help with the odds of succeeding, does it? Hubby is also an alcoholic so sitting next to someone every night who is still drinking whiskey is tough ... have to find a way of stay sober while still living with another alcoholic .... miracle?

Raindance

I would try an AA meeting. Don't get caught up on what you think will be expected of you, just go, listen, and realize you are not alone.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, alcoholism is such a deceiver. Sorry for your troubles. I could never get past 30 days myself untill I finally gave up fighting against my alcoholism as an illness. I was done just like you but that last time I accepted the AA way of recovery and that was the end of my drunks period. Understanding how my alcoholic thinking was controlling my alcoholism was enough for me to understand how surrender was my only option. For me, alcoholism is an illness, its not my fault. Sobriety is my responsibility and that's how it works for me with AA 12 steps 24/7 and gestalt therapy when needed for whatever else.

I'm not religious and I'm not a regular meeting guy either and I'm sober many years now using AA. Maybe AA is worth you taking some time to try it out. It is certainly different then doing it solo.

Even with you husband drinking, AA can still work for you keeping sober. Good to hear you had 2 months already, so you know sobriety can work. Now you can learn how to stay sober for good. Best wishes.