missbliss

Hi there,

I am a 28 year old female and I wanted to get some feed back reguarding my drinking alcoholic beverages.

I drink on the weekends Fri. and Sat. at my house I never go out for a drink.

When the weekend comes alone I like to have some drinks and kick back and play internet games to relax after a weeks worth of work. I never drink on weeknight dont even have the desire.
But when the weekend comes I really look forward to my evening drinks and computer games. I dont drink alone my boyfriend also has drinks with me as we play.
I usually have 3 to 4 drinks during an evening.
Used to only drink coffee liquors but have switched off to rum and soda because of the high fat content of the coffee liquors.

I have never taking drinking to the point of passing out, as a matter of fact I allow myself time to sober up before I go to bed.
I have looked up the classics signs of problem drinkers and the only question I can answer simi give a yes answer to is. Do I crave a drink?
Well yes to a point I dont necessarily crave it I just look forward to it after a long week.
Anyway I dont think that I have a problem but I want to be sure. Is it ok to drink 2 nights out of the week or is that too much?

I would appreciate any feed back

and I hope that I have not offended anyone by my posting this I just dont know who to talk to

boop64132

missbliss,
hi there!!I dont think you could offend anyone by asking your question.
As far as the answer goes,well....do you think you have a problem?
I think its up to you to decide if you have a problem and want to quit.Maybe I am wrong.

I personally only drank on the weekends also.But mine slowly got out of control.I could work and function fine during the week,
but on the weekends....all hell broke loose.
So I think it is your call.

We'll see what others have to say.
Nice to meet you!!
Hope you find answers to your questions.

spirit

gday from down under.

no offence taken by you post, there is no such thing as a silly question that is the only way you learn. also usually the question you ask if often one that others want to ask too but are brave enough to do it .

it is an interesting question.

i would suggest that there is a very subtle line between looking forward to that drink and craving it, and sometimes as you have asked, it is hard to tell the difference.

for me i would look forward to a drink, but then i couldnt stop, i would drink all night on the computer or whereever, until i passed out or had to go to bed. so it sounds like you arent in that boat.

but what i would ask yourself is "how would i feel if i didnt drink on the weekend while playing computer games?" if the answer is that you dont think you could, or you would miss the drink more than enjoy the games, then you could be heading toward a problem.

there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks to unwind at the end of the week, most people are fortunate enough to be able to do that, sadly those of us with drinking problems cant.

the only other thing i can suggest is in you heart or your head you might find the answer, if it is disturbing you, and you dont feel you can do that activity or any others without a drink, then it is worth thnking about cutting it out and seeing what happens.

hope all this makes sense.

there are many other older and wiser people than me floating around on these boards so hopefully they will come forward with some advise for you as well, some may agree with me, some may not.

anyway, good luck to you and thanks for asking a good question.

oh a question back, you said you and boyfriend stay home and drink etc, if you go out on the weekends, do you drink our, or only at home. if you go out do you need to drink before you go out etc.

just some thoughts.

hugs to you
kath
australia

wingsfree

Hi missbliss....pleased to meet you, and welcome to sobriety recovery.

I started my drinking going out with hubs......then it turned into drinking at home, and it got to be more and more and more.

Well you're young now, and if you're concerned wondering if you have a problem, usually when we worry about that, it means we do have one. And you being young now, alcoholism is a progressive disease, we start out a couple days a week, a few drinks here and there, next thing you know, ten years down the road, you're drinking a lot more, the demon works that way you know, it likes to slowly sink it's claws into us, when we least expect it.

Well that's my thought on this.

Hey Kath, waving at you, here's one of the older wiser gals, haha.

missbliss..I hope you find your answers here, lots have wonderful advice, and it's a trap you don't want to get caught in.

Take care....hugs, Denise <----she's an alkie and is sick and tired of it.

Chy

Hi and welcome.. it's a tough question that no one but you can answer. There are alcoholics who have never had a drink believe it or not. I know.. doesn't make sense. A lot has to do with our behavior. How are you when you drink? Can you stop at just those 3 or 4 can you stop at just one. Do you drink to get drunk? Do you feel you can be different in way's you can't sober? Can you just skip a weekend or two or three without giving it a second thought? It doesn't sound like to me your in a bad way... yet. It's never to early to start questioning this progressive disease.

I started out as weekend drinker but alway's overindulged.. had to finish the last bottle in the house. Then it progressed over the years to a couple times a week and the weekend. To the last phases of everyother night, day off for hangovers and not being able to just have one... ever. We're all different in our disease. What makes you think you have a problem? There's the Big Book online I suggest you read. Many thoughts and various stories. Like I said you have to decide. It's good your seeking out some answers, I pray your not like most of us here.. but if you are.. we can help you by sharing our experiance strength and hope.

CarolD

Welcome and Hello...

Here is what the ecperts say..

Safe Levels of Drinking....
National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

For most adults, moderate alcohol use--up to two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women and older people--causes few if any problems.

(One drink equals one 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler, one 5-ounce glass of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gosh!! Why bother? And no...you can not "save" them and drink them all in one day!!!

missbliss

Quote from : spirit



:::oh a question back, you said you and boyfriend stay home and drink etc, if you go out on the weekends, do you drink our, or only at home. if you go out do you need to drink before you go out etc:::


Very rarly do we ever drink when we go out maybe 3 or 4 times a year with dinner.
I play the same games during the week as well so no it probley would not phase me to not have a drink while I play.
The drink is mainly just a wind down from the week and my putting the game and drink together on weekends is my way of relaxing so to speak. My moods are good when I drink..
(Not a hell rasier) lol =X
If I am ever upset about something I will not drink and if something upsets me while I am drinking I will put the drink down.

I think alot of it is worrying , I will admit to being a hypocondriac. So its hard to tell how much is hypocondriac and how much could be a pontential problem.

Thank you all very much for your replies...




Missbliss

The Jay Walker

I don't know if your heading towards alcoholism or not,
But I know that if I drank the way you do, I would still be drinking.
but I can't drink a few on the weekends, never could.

panadolsandwich

Doesn't sound like you have a problem to me (from the small amount of info I can garner from your post).

If you're really concerned about it, why don't you give up any form of alcohol over the next month? Well maybe after New Years then. If you find it's no big deal, then you are one lucky girl! Even then keep one eye on what alcohol you consume after that. If you feel the consumption is increasing, then revisit these doubts.

I used to love having a nice glass of wine at a fancy restaurant with my girlfriend. And that's all I'd have for that day (she really was an angel). I would love to be able to do that again, but sadly I can't.

'gards,
Mark.

missbliss

Thanks Jay and Mark I will keep you all up to date..

Peter

Hi missbliss welcome to SR .Your questions and concerns are most welcome.

I can only answer for myself and for me I had to look at the level of "unmanagability" that drinking was causing in my life.

Drinking had begun to seriously impact my health , my job performance , my financial situation and my relationships with family members and friends and just about everyone in my life.

Accidents were frequent and there were several run- ins with the law.

This "outward " aspect of UNMANAGABILITY was difficult enough to deal but as my drinking progressed my life also became more and more "emotionally unmanagable ".

I lived my life in a triangle of fear, anger and depression.

This aspect of UNMANAGABILITY resulted in a total loss of my dreams , hopes and aspirations and left me spiritually bankrupt.

I did'nt really care if I lived or died and all I wanted to do was drink more........there was an emptiness inside that nothing could fill.

If you think alcohol may be causing problems in even one area of your life and you would like to look more closely at it AA can help.

Only you can decide if drinking is a problem or not and ultimately you are the only one who can make the decision to do something about it.

Don W

Hi missbliss, Welcome to sober recovery.
Sharing and asking questions is what this is all about. I feel that only you can answer your question. I can share a few thoughts about my problem. First, I didn't matter what I drank, when or how much. It is what alcohol regardless of the amount does to me. I become a different person. I could never stop a just a few. I tried to control when and
where I drank. No matter what I would up the amount the days etc. It took over my life and affected everyone that had contact with. If, it isn't adversly
affecting your life maybe there is no problem. However, in my case people who had no problem didn't put as much thought into it. Again' welcome and keep posting and reading. Maybe, you can identify with others to help decide.
Then again, try going without and see if your thoughts change. Don W

PianoGirl

MissBliss,

I agree with Peter that alcohol is a problem when it starts causing problems in your life. Alcoholism is a progressive disease also. Not many of us started out full blown alcoholics. It happened over a period of time as we learned tolerance. The question to consider, in my opinon, is do you see alcohol influencing your life, your emotions, your relationships or your job? If you answer yes to any of those, it may be time to start backing off. Just because you drink on the weekends or during the week, or whatever, does not mean you are an alcoholic. It lies in how much you depend on it, and how it effects you. Addiction equals dependance. But, everyone has to decide for themselves wether they have a problem.

For me, I was drinking, and it was definitely ruining everything in my life. I couldn't go without out. I had no doubts I had a problem.

PianoGirl

Jayhay

Hi MissBliss,

Welcome! I'm glad you are searching for answers. You are lucky in that you have a chance to learn what you can about alcoholism *now.* Like others have said, only *you* can decide if you have a problem. Doesn't matter how much or how often, really; If drinking is causing problems, or concerns for yourself, then you may want to stop and see what happens. Personsally, sounds like you are dong o.k. But, it is a progressive disease. You are at a point where you can look out and be aware. i was not aware, sadly, and my drinking became unmanageable. So, my advice is to check out some information on the disease of alcoholism - how it progresses, the stages of change - physically and psychologically. I always say - Knowledge is power. Take care,

Jayhay

Carol87

Only you can decide if you have a problem.

I questioned my own alcoholism for a very long time when I first got to recovery since I had not had a DUI, had not been arrested, still had a home, a job, money in the bank, etc. Those are the things that I thought had to happen to qualify me to be an alcoholic ... but the truth is that you can still have everything and be an alcoholic. It is not how much you drink, it is what happens to you when you do drink. When I drank, having one drink was a big joke; I definitely had a craving to drink at a certain time each night; although I did drink in bars, at the end of my drinking career, I only drank at home and almost always passed out. And I was a blackout drinker. When I did drink in public, I cannot tell you the times that I don't remember driving home or the mornings I checked to see if my car was in the garage. Why I didn't get arrested I don't know, I can only say that God was watching over me (and continues to do so).

From what you have posted, it doesn't sound like you have a drinking problem; however, again, only you can decide. You are very wise to be aware it may be an issue; I only wish I would have faced that fact long before I did.

The Jay Walker

heres a quote from the AA big book, that might help you.

Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor
entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or
leave it alone.


Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He
may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair
him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few
years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason -- ill
health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning
of a doctor becomes operative, this man can also stop
or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome
and may even need medical attention.

But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a
moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous
hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins
to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he
starts to drink.


Here is a fellow who has been puzzling you, especially
in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things
while drinking. He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He
is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less
insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles
his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest
fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he
frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly
the wrong moment, particularly when some important
decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often
perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything
except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest
and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes,
and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his
gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself,
and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless
series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated
he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next
morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced
the night before. If he can afford it, he may have liquor
concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets
his entire supply away from him to throw down the
wastepipe. As matters grow worse, he begins to use a
combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to
quiet his nerves so he can go to work. Then comes the
day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all
over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him
morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then
he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.

This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the
true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this
description should identify him roughly.

missbliss

I truly can answer no to all of the questions that you listed.
I dont see it causing any problems in my life so far.
As far as affects I am in a positive mood when I drink and as I said in an eariler post I never drink when upset mad or worried (or as an escape).
I have only drank myself to a sick hangover only a few times the last time I remember drinking myself sick was back in March at a club I used to DJ at and the only reason I think I got sick was not the amount I drank but what I drank. Which was a coffee liquor mixed with whole milk (ughh) I am still having nightmares about that lol...
As far as holding my alcohol I think I do a pretty good job thats the part of me that thinks maybe I am over reacting.
I know with out a doubt when I have had enough.... I have never drank to the point of passing out, and dont like or wont fall asleep on my alcohol.
So I will just stay on alert and be aware if I feel like I am beginning to lose control or feel as if it is causing problems.
My biggest worry in this whole thing is that my grand parents had alcoholism in there lifes and I also had a great aunt who dealt with alcohoiam of which was on the other side of the family. So I have the history hitting me from boths sides.
That does scare me ...
Anyway I thank each and everone of you for your wonderful helpful replies and I wish you all the best in your lifes and with your recoveries..

panadolsandwich

Missbliss,

If I might be so bold, that you speak of being an hypochondriac speaks volumes to me. I had a girlfriend who seriously thought her back was broken when it was just a bit sore.

Drink and be merry. Chances are you're worrying about nothing, or else after attention. If you find yourself craving, then you probably have a problem. As I said before, come back and revisit those doubts.

By all means monitor your consumption. Don't let me make light of your situation however. From the first time I drunk alcohol I drank to excess. It wasn't 'progressive' as others speak of. Just my experience mind.