tallmike

Hey everybody,
well its been 4 days since my last drink and so far its been hard but worth it. Kind of like working out, it sucks but you feel great about yourself when you are done.
I started drinking in high school and that was pretty moderate, but then i started college at a state university and my best friend had basically a frat house. it all started then. i am a senior now and have been drinking too much since my freshman year. as of 4 days ago i was drinking about 8-10 ice beers a night on average. Once and awhile 12-14. You know the cheap but strong stuff. I guess i usually thought too myself that i can't be that bad.....at least i am not drinking liquor. Well i decieded it is time to stop for many reasons but mostly because i don't want to wind up dropping out of college and working in a dead end job because i made bad decisions and continued to drink. Also i have a steady girl and would like to marry her some day but i know that she doesn't deserve a drunk boyfriend or someday husband. She doesn't hound me much on drinking but i can see sadness in her eyes when she smells the beer on my breath. And of course there are many other reasons why i have choosen to quit (health, family relationships, hopefully see that six-pack again some day=)
So the first four days have been hard like i said. Trouble sleeping and urges very often. It seems like my mind is always thinking of an excuse of why i can go to the store and pick up a 24 pack.
Anyways i just wanted to share my situation with everyone in hopes that others have had similar and have advice on how to go about things best. My biggest question is will i ever be able to drink again in moderation, or will this bring me back to where i am. I suppose i should make it a couple of months before i even think about it. anyways enough rambling.
thanks for any input
Mike

CarolD

Welcome!!

Can you ever drink in moderation? Gee I don`t know.

I wasted years to find that I can not. :shades:

I suggest you read up on the disease of alcoholism.

"Under The Influence" by Dr. James Milam is full of facts.
Amazon has it..about $8.

Hope all works out for you..

Bradley004

Hey TallMike, I think you will be much more attractive to your girlfriend, family, associates and peers being in control of your choices. Your decision to quit is admirable. You said yourself you have been battling the urges and comprimise. Seems to me you have worked yourself into an addicition if not compulsive, destructive "habit".

Carol's right...the end result is always the same no matter how you go about it if you keep drinking. If you are already missing classes, lazy during day, apathetic, depressed, angry, moody..indiferrent...un motivated ..then think about the exact opposite and that comes from sobriety.

You will feel worse before feeling better but you WILL eventually be able to choose w/out the compulsive/obsessive mindset.

The question should not be "if" you can drink again but do you want too. That is what I believe trips up the best and the worst sobriety seekers. To me the winners are the ones that say NO WAY do I want this mess anymore and it's not worth the risk.

Bradley004

BTW, I want to congratulate you on wanting to stop and doing something about it. So many out there don't see what they are doing or don't care.

Keep it up and God Bless!!!!!!!

IMHomerSimpson

hey mike,you sound alot like me only Im 34 and been doing it(beer) since 8or9th grade. It doesnt get better, just slowly,very slowly progresses into more beer everyday,or for some quarts of vodka cuz beer drinking is too filling to get the amount of alcohol you need due to tolerance. Im still drinking,but its a different kind of drinking now(since Ive been sober many days lately), now I kinda drink just for "the purpose" of getting mildly intoxicated. When I reach my buzz that I like(usually 6-8 16oz.budweisers) i just stop drinking and resume life,what I can,anyways. Theres times where I feel its just normal for a guy to stop at a store after a days work and grab a six or twelve pack. But then there are the other times when I really think about my over-drinking and realize I lose good life by drinking everyday. The odds are against you if your g/f doesnt drink like you,she probably will leave you if you dont change. As some here know,I wont say I will never drink again(as of today) but am gonna shoot for 1 year without beer/alcohol and after that year is up,Ill decide(who knows what could happen). You should definately quit drinking for a long time(at least 1 year) if you want to make your life right.Ive been where you are rite now and only wish I had someone,anyone, tell me about the downward spiral I was heading for. Just do it!!!!!

IMHomerSimpson

I just want emphasize how SLOW it was for me.About 20 years and I still did not hit rock bottom.I have been married for 15 years(shes sober 8 years now),have 2 boys(oldest,14,avoids me when he sees a beer in my hand),own my house,brand new cars and motorcycle,full-time job(work my nuts off though cuz I dropped out of school!) and just a "nice" life still going BUT I see the end coming if I continue drinking like this. Dont wait as long as me,like Im not waiting until I lose my "good life".

Jayhay

Hi Tallmike,

I started drinking a lot in college too, after experimenting a little when I was a teen. Like IMHomer, it took me a long time before I hit "the bottom." I truly don't feel that I even hit "bottom" compared to others, (good education, good steady job, husband, two kids, own a home, lots of stuff, take vacations, never been in trouble, etc.). But hitting bottom for me was realizing that my drinking was causing me to lose out on my family. I wasn't "there" for them like I needed to be, and could have potentially put them in dangerous situations. I still have nightmares thinking about what if one of my kids had a serious accident or illness while I was wasted? Would I attempt to drive them somewhere? I hope not, but when drinking your judgement is off.

O.k., sorry, didn't mean to sound preachy. What I really want to say is that you are very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. Like Carol said, learn as much as you can about the disease of alcoholism. I wish I knew at the age of 21 what I know now about alcohol and how it affects the body; especially if you are predisposed to alcoholism (e.g. is it in your family?). I think I may have been able to prevent where I am now with not being able to drink at all. Perhaps not. but I'll never know. You at least have that chance - maybe. Sounds like you are drinking a lot more than the "average Joe," but who am I to say. 6 (12 oz.)beers put me on the floor.

I'm glad you have decided to stop and take a look at your drinking and your life. I'm proud of you for 4 days. It may seem rough, but take it one day at a time.
Take care,
Jayhay

IMHomerSimpson

yup,she/he(sorry jay-hay did not know) is right. and not too preachy. He sounds young and could be directed in the "right" direction like we,at least me, did not ever get.I always got "more beer=better time" and that was the case until I got older and gained some responsibility(real responsibility). Jay-hay, u are my role model!!!!

AvieG

HI MIKE and welcome to sober recovery!! WOW 21 and already you can see you have a problem!! Good onya. I was kicked out of High School aged 15 for drinking, but it took me to the age of 36 to recognise I might have a 'slight problem with drink' LOL

Good luck to you, Mike and keep coming back here.

tallmike

thanks for all the kind and encouraging words. tonight is going to be tough (don't know why but its all i can think about right now). but with all the inspiration i should make it. right now i am just struggling with the idea of still having fun without the alcohol. sounds stupid i know, but it was always a way of feeling good and having fun.
ok well thanks again for the encouragement

Chy

Hey Mike how you doing?