hereigo

Thanks to the four or five people participating with me. This is day 2, and am holding steady. 5 alcohol-free days for me would be monumental. I will then have to quickly invest in a commitment to the next number of alcohol free days. To those who are participating, be strong. Some people on this forum have put down my approach to asking others to make a pact together to not drink for a period of 5 days. Well, it is an experiment, and most of these critics seem to have long-term sobriety. So, to those who are participating with me, I will hold my word to you to not drink for 5 days. Can you do the same? If we can make that, TOGETHER, then we can consider recommitting to another few more days. I will be posting Friday night, and then let's talk about the future. But not now. Now is today. Be sober today, and stick to it until Friday, as a group. Even if you want to join our little group today, on Tuesday, join. No drinking until this Friday, 12-23-2011, midnight. I will post again Friday evening. Make a commitment to this little group to not drink for these few short days. Of course you are doing this for yourself, just as I am doing this for myself. But, I find strength in giving you my word that I will not drink for a few days, and strength in you giving me your word. So, this is not aimed at those who have achieved sobriety, but rather who are seriously battling a daily addiction to alcohol, or something similar. I will reach out to you again Friday evening. Namaste.

hereigo

BTW, a few of the comments of some of you people with long time sobriety comes off as rather condescending. You few are not coming across as supportive, but rather, scoffing. Thanks a lot.

soberlicious

hereigo,
I certainly didn't mean to condescend. I have the utmost respect for anyone who quits. Don't forget I have been where you are, more than once...To be honest with you, I wish someone had been more straight forward with me. So sometimes I say the things I wish others had said to me.

I was simply offering you my hand, to join me in the forever thing, the same way you were offering your hand to others to join you in the 5 day thing.

Because I am now a non-drinker and committed for life, I don't have to think/worry about alcohol at all. Takes all that angst right out of the equation. I cannot decribe the freedom in this. I can breath, I can think, I can grow, I can live. My above comments were simply because I would love nothing more than for you to know that freedom too.

I honor all approaches and truly wish you the best on your journey.

namaste

amandaw

I'm on my day 2 as well. I have to say, also, making it five days isn't going to equal a green light for me to drink on day 6. My reason with taking this challenge is because I've been trying to make it to 5 days for 4 months. I haven't made it past four. The goal may seem little, but for me, if I can make it to 5, hopefully I'll feel just enough success to keep me going.

ReadyAndAble

I don't see any condescension here; I see people who achieved long-term sobriety saying they did not succeed by making short-term plans. Five days, two weeks, a month—nothing short of forever worked for me. I spent the time between drinks obsessing over the next one. I was still very much an active alcoholic; I just happened to not be drinking at that particular moment.

I'm admittedly biased, because I see recovery has a battle between two parts of ourselves. One part of us wants to spend the rest of our lives free from alcohol. Another part of us—the addict—is terrified. And with good reason, because it will wither and die in the face of long-term sobriety.

I suspect the addict part of our minds is all in favor of short-term plans. It loves knowing Friday is just around the corner.

I do wish you luck—and I'm glad you're here. Any effort to address alcoholism is a step in the right direction.

Dee74

I have removed several posts that were not helpful.
Pact or no pact I'll close the thread if the tone becomes too negative.

If a post, or posters, upset you, the ignore function is your friend.

D

hereigo

I have found strength in committing to others, in a recovery setting,when we did make a pact to quit, "for each other" was a part of that. Some of those who were in that pact are still clean, 18 months later. Some of us our not. I stayed clean for 42 days. Point is, if you want to make steps to stop using, then the first step is to decide to stop using. That could involve various approaches. So, if four or five of us out here are moved to initiate a five day period of sobriety, as a pact, as a way of getting started, then I will lead that pact. If there are others who want to jump on board, please do, even if it is today. But you must not drink until Friday, Dec. 23rd, midnight. I will be addressing my fellow positive champs Friday night. I know what it is like to have lived decades, drinking up to 20-30 units of alcohol per day for months on end. So, if we will commit until Friday, that is a start. Then, we will re-evaluate and look forward. But, to those of you who are already sober are on the "other side". Good for you, sincerely! But a brotherhood/sisterhood of caring and encouragement is best. You naysayers are not in my shoes, and 2 days in, I am succeeding with a couple friends I have met here on-line.
If one day sober is established=power. Two days=power. Five days=power. Ten days=power. 15 day=power. 20 days=power. 30 days= power
These few days of established sobriety can give one the opportunity to go on to utilize all the wisdom and resources that are pointed out in this website. Of course!...the goal is to be absolutely free of this malady. Some of us just need to get started, and that is what I am offering; a focal point to begin. We must crawl, before we can walk. Now, who is with me? To you fellow currently using alcoholics, stick with our little group till Friday, or jump on board today. Let's be strong till then, then we can talk and prepare for the Christmas weekend. But do not worry about that now. Be sober today. With me.

Sapling

That sounds like a plan....AOK here,,,,

hereigo

So, here it is day 3. I am committed to getting through sober till Friday midnight. That was my original goal. I wish to explain a bit more. As I said before, I have been drinking heavily, usually at least 5 days per week, for years. For more than the last decade, it has been more often than not that I start my day at 5:00 am with a cold beer. I can put down 3 in that first hour, and then continue on a regular pace throughout the day. And I even have a job. This has been my life. I have been hospitalized twice due to drinking too much. I am in fear for my physical health, as symptoms are evident; my mental health has greatly deteriorated; my social health has greatly deteriorated; my marriage is at risk; I am missing work often; and the dreams of my future are being destroyed by drinking. My last drink was last Sunday night. I had been drinking every day except one for the week prior to that. Well, after making a total ass (again) of myself at a holiday Christmas party, I came home Sunday, Dec. 18th, and started this thread at 11:34 pm. I spent the the next day in bed, alcohol sick; broken, depressed and physically ill. But I did not drink, due to the offering of the pact. Otherwise, I would have drank to alleviate the sickness.

I want to quit drinking for good. For me, the holidays are a mine field for drinking. So, I chose to get a handle on it at this time, before I stepped on another mine and exploded. Some people who have already achieved extended sobriety have belittled my attempt at suggesting making a buddy pact with others to not drink FOR 5 DAYS for various reasons. One privately referred to it as "ridiculous", and several have suggested that it is insignificant, that the commitment needs to be longer to be meaningful.

But let me be clear, I am not reaching out to those with established sobriety to participate in this pact. Also, let me be clear that without the input of those with established sobriety, this thread would be meaningless. Your input is absolutely essential.

When I offered this "pact" last Sunday night, I could not see myself getting through the holidays without drinking heavily. But I can now, simply because a few of you in a similar position as me joined me in this buddy pact, and we made a commitment to each other. Thank you. Because of you, I am continuing. This is day 3, and I will not drink today. I am going to make it through until Friday night, because I want this for myself, and because a few of you agreed to do this with me, and perhaps you wish to quit drinking now. Again, for me, your participation in the pact is only meaningful (to me) if you are in serious risk of alcohol destroying you over the holidays because you are an active addict like me, or if you always drink during the holidays and wish to stop.

My goal is to get through Friday night. If you can make it that far with me, step one will have been established: several days of non-drinking before having to cross the Christmas weekend mine-field. It is not too late to join, but today would have to be the last day. If you have already had a drink today, stop now, and our pact today. This is very important, to have a clear head when the weekend arrives. Next step, we recommit to EACH OTHER AND TO OURSELVES, on Friday night, to not drink - NO MATTER WHAT - during Saturday or on Christmas Sunday. I will be spending the day with my family of Catholics who have a tradition of drinking heavily on Christmas. I have always drank heavily on the holidays. But not this year. I am going to recommit this to you and myself this Friday night. After getting through this Friday, we must then recommit to get through Christmas Day. Then we look ahead at the next battle, the week between Christmas and New Years Eve/Day. It will have to be a new pact to not drink the entire week from Monday through Friday, between the Monday after Christmas Day and the following Friday. Then, another new pact to not drink on New Years Eve or New Years Day. Imagine getting through the next two weeks without alcohol. Would this not be a perfect way to start the new year? I would encourage all of you participating to take advantage of any resources you have to help you: family, close friends, AA meetings, etc.

This may seem an unorthodox way of getting off the booze, but I cannot just say "I am not going to drink for the next 30 days", nor can I say "I will not drink for the rest of my life". I could say "I will not drink just for today, one day at a time", and in a sense, that is what I am doing. But, that alone will not work for me. But, if I do this in increments as I have described, I believe I can do it. I would really appreciate it if some of you other active, suffering drinkers will participate in this with me. It will help me greatly. If I can get through to Jan. 2, 2012, without drinking, I do not think I will want to throw all that away and binge. In fact, I intend to end my drinking here and now, and then to continue to seek help. But I am generating this move from my desire to quit, from the comradery extended by my new on-line friends, and my desire to live a life without this ball-and-chain I drag behind me.

So, as I understand it, the pact is so far confirmed between me, Sapling, Amandaw, CamilleBelle, as well as SoberRightNow and FattyMcFatty, although I am not sure if the last two are already sober, or are still in the heat of the battle, like me. Are you?

Regardless, do we stand together? If I can do it with my heavy addiction, then you can, too. Just make it with me until this Friday at midnight, okay? I don't think I can see this through without another active addict doing it with me. So, please help me with this, one increment at a time. Again, this invitation to join "the pact" ends today.

Be strong, join hands, and let's support each other. If we can get through this together, one step at a time, we can look at the New Year with a clear head, and perhaps each of us can continue to stay alcohol free for longer. But these next two weeks are going to be a test, no doubt. Then, we can stay in touch, if desired, and keep the encouragement going and continue to use any resources available to stay clean. I am in the battle today, but I will not drink today. I will hold my word to you. The current pact is to commit to not to drink until this Friday at midnight. Can you do this Sapling, Amandaw, CamilleBelle, SoberRightNow and FattyMcFatty? Anyone else want to join today? Blessings, and may you find the strength.

Sapling

That's the way I look at it.

DarrenW

Have you promised your wife/family that you would not drink this week?

hereigo

That would not be more effective in my case, since my wife and family are all drinkers. Thank for your suggestion, though.

FattyMcFatty

I hit the gym last night and did one hour of an intervals training session on the exercise bike. I'm so glad I'm doing this now instead of going home and drinking until I go to sleep. Tonight it's day three of my running program! Now if I could only become addicted to exercising! (I'm still pushing the scale at 280)...

Drala

HereIGo: I'm definitely in with you. I like this idea. I like that my word stands for something, because it hasn't always. We probably all know a little about that I definitely feel glad about my decision to stop drinking, and am on a path to keep it that way for good, and there's nothing about your idea that conflicts with that.

Thanks for your creative thinking!

Drala

hereigo: this is what we Buddhists would call your basic goodness showing through. Your Buddha nature. Your Christ nature. Whatever you want to call it. It's your inherent wisdom shining through. It's very beautiful to see. You see what hasn't been helpful in your past behavior and you want to heal, to become whole. Nurture it. Your confidence in it will grow. We all can. Good for you.

amandaw

I'm on day 3! Yesterday I had some cravings, so I tried focusing on saying I will not drink today, over and over. The holidays have me stressed out. I have a pile of presents to wrap, and still 2 days left of work before 3 weeks off. Drinking was how I "relieved" stress - although we all know that backfires. I instead played farmville on Facebook. I know some think it's lame, but it helped as I relaxed and played. I haven't played in MONTHS, so there was quite a bunch to be done on my farm.

To those who seem to take issue with our pact. Please respect our roads to recovery as our own. I know many of you use a "one day at a time" approach - yet say our pact is silly because of it's length confuse me. By doing one day at a time, doesn't that give permission to drink the next, like some of you say taking our 5 days gives us permission to drink on the 6th? Just a question. I've made it clear that I've been trying to make it past 4 days for months now. I usually last 3. I don't always get drunk when I drink, but lately I have far more often than I'd like to. I have attended AA meetings, and I enjoy them. I will probably resume after the holidays. Please, though, I don't like feeling as though people are mocking me for trying somethind different, and for me at least, exciting (5 days would be huge for me)!
Thanks,
Amanda

soberlicious

This is a great thread. I am not (as is obviously clear from my posts) a "one day at a time" person. Not with drinking anyway. Hereigo, I appreciate your acknowledgement of the value of differing opinions. In my life it is crucial to hear as many outlooks on any subject as possible. It's just how I am. I applaud your efforts and all of those here who are quitting.

And because I am a mom I have a tendency to be, well, kind of momish sometimes LOL so I'm gonna say one more thing. Let it be taken in the spirit it is intended.
um, yes you can...millions have. Not everyone does, but certainly everyone can.

Best to all of you. You're doing great!

DarrenW

Not sure I would have the power to quit drinking if my wife was a drinker. Its a lot easier for me.

Programmatic

I found I did not have the power to quit drinking regardless of who was drinking or not. Ironically, I found that the easiest way of handling the issue, that is, I didn't have to handle it... I was powerless to do so.

hereigo

To: Sapling, amadaw, FattyMcFatty, and others who are on board. This was a tactic that was used in an outpatient rehab program I went through 18 months ago, and IT ALONE kept me from drinking in the first days of my 42 day period of non-drinking at that time. Others in the group shared the same experience. The drug counselor asked me if I was going to stay alcohol free over the first weekend in the program. I said "I don't know if I can, I just want to drink". He then asked me to look at the person next to me in the group and said, "Will you look Susan in the eyes, and tell her you will do it for her, to support her, and for the strength of the group, if not for yourself?" Because I looked at another struggling alcoholic in the eyes, and said to her (at the counselor's request), "Yes, Susan, I will abstain for you", I was able to keep that promise. I was not going to let her down, and I did not. This approach is one that is only effective for assisting the actively using alcohol dependent person who is struggling to establish the beginning stage of recovery. This tactic was used as part of the treatment program. It was successful for me in the beginning, and was only used in the beginning stages of trying to establish the first several weeks of sobriety. At least half of that group is still sober, because they followed though with other methods. I did not follow through. But I am using this tactic now to again establish a foothold of sobriety, so that I can then follow through with my sobriety. Because I made a promise to a stranger, in the very early stage of my 42 days of sobriety, I abstained, because I did not want to let them down. I HAVE SEEN IT WORK to establish the beginning stage of sobriety. It does come down to one's actual caring about the other person's well-being, and living up to one's word to help them, while helping one's self. I have given you my word. Remember, I have been consuming 20-30 units per day, usually 4-5 days per week, for over a decade, and plenty before that decade. I do not believe I have had 4 days consecutive days sober since long before or after I was in the outpatient program (usually no more than 2-3) in the last 15 years. Today is day 3, and I am solid. My heart and my word is stronger than my craving, and I will be a cornerstone for you. And I will need this from you, as well. I understand Terminally Unique's first post in this thread. Well, there is some truth in that. But there is also power in community, and in giving of oneself to help another. And, one might think, what a heck of time to try to begin sobriety, right when the holidays are here...all the drinking and celebrating with alcohol!!??

Now is the perfect time. It is better to establish a stronghold over this enemy now, and conquer beast this while you can actually grasp it by the throat, and suffocate it while it is in your reach, than to try to do it after this drinking season, when the opportunity to achieve such a victory will be gone. Such a victory would be empowering.

To quote Sapling from a former post in this thread:

"Don't screw this up..."

Namaste