TylerDurden

I usually speak very vaguely, and that is only because I am super self conscious. I am ready to just admit I have a problem.


I speak vaguely and cryptically because I am scared. I am scared of myself and everyone around me.

I have extremely large dreams, things I want to accomplish and I get so stressed out by the thought of failure that I cannot bare even attempting them.


I have a problem with alcohol. It has not creeped into me every day reality yet but it crawls into every other facet of my being.

I need help.

Sapling

What do you want to do? What goal do you have for yourself? Are you sure you are done drinking? What are you willing to do to get better?

langkah

I've known alcoholics who only wanted to be sober when they were drunk, and that didn't work out very well for them.

There's lots more to do, but to get this rolling you need to stop drinking.

Sapling

I agree...langkah....What I had to do when I was in this guy's shape...I had to stop drinking, quit feeling sorry for myself and grow the **** UP. Only then could I get a grasp on how bad my problem was and what I had to do to solve it.

InsertNameHere

I'm no expert but I think that would be true of a lot of us here. I have lofty goals and I have smaller ones but one thing that I have found true in at least my case is that Goals+Alcohol=Drunken planning, that you won't clearly remember but think was brillitant, with a remainder of very little if anything accomplished.

If that wasn't sideways enough for you here is how it has happened in my world not as far as large dreams which are in the same boat but the little goals. I have a goal in mind something small like I am going to clean up the kitchen when I get home, or I am going to finish this report today at work. That is a good goal right, something simple easily within my reach, but what happens? I get home I start doing the dishes and I think you know what would make this more fun/easier, a beer, glug, glug, glug. I Keep doing dishes, but they would be more easier/fun if I put in a movie (or name your distraction) and listened to it while I cleaned, glug, glug, glug. hey that spot in the movie is comming up I gotta watch that, glug, glug, glug. well that movie is over time for another, glug, glug, glug. what I end up with is some movies watched 15 empty beer cans and a sink half full of dirty dishes.

How are you supposed to accomplish your "extreamly large dreams" when the alcohol is getting in the way of your smallest?

But to quote your Handle "But thats me and I could be wrong" but I hope I helped.

INH

(Edit) alright I went off on a little bit of a tangent there. But on the fear of failure, that is something I have in common as well which has led me into a life with very little risk taking. I won't say that alcohol caused it because that was me before alcohol. I will say however that alcohol didn't make it better. If anything it gave me a new reason to be secretly shamfull and there more fearfull and therefore durn to drinking to make that feeling go away. One problem with that is that eventually the alcohol stops making it go away and eventually again it starts making it worse even when drunk. So you end up feeling afraid and feeling like a failure all the time and even more so when drunk. To me that sounds like where you might be right now. it dosen't feel all that good does it. Here is hoping you figure yourself out.

INH (again)

least

I agree that you need help but you're going to have to get off your duff and go get that help. No one here can deliver that help to your door. You have to do something to help yourself, and the quickest way to start helping yourself is to stop drinking. Not easy, but simple: stop drinking!

Charon

Think about your "dreams" and list the things you need to do to get there. Make a list of concrete, attainable goals (NOT something like I want to be a rock star, I want to be a billionaire) - real things that you can reasonably expect to accomplish. Then select the one that has to be accomplished first. Then chunk that goal down into discrete small objectives that you can measure and go at them one at a time. When you have reached that goal move on to the next. Grandiose wishes won't get you anywhere - only organization and work can do that. My Mom used to tell me "Wish into one hand and pee into the other - see which fills up first".

cuyootoo

Just hope that you can quit before your alcoholism gets worse, to the point where you would jump over the ledge just to have that last bottle.

TylerDurden

I want to be successful as a financial investor and business owner.

Many goals I have for myself, no need to spell them out here.

No I am not sure I am done drinking. I quit every other day or so and start up again within that time.

I do not know what I am willing to do to get better. That is why I am here.

TylerDurden

Fair enough, but the problem with me isn't that I "need to grow the **** up." I don't feel sorry for myself. I just like drinking. I like the taste of it, the feeling of it, and I like the tranquil nature it has on my psyche.

Sapling

Then enjoy it......By the way....You are the same guy asking for help??

Sapling

This is your problem....Maybe when you are done....You can decide what will be good for you.