TylerDurden

I def. like the ant farm analogy. Cheers!

I wouldn't say I'm stuck in a high school time capsule rut type thing, but some of my friends def. are. I'm more caught in a psychotic swirl of detrimental, schizo constant anxiety attack. Regardless how colorful I phrase it, I have no excuse for it other than I am weak and a sucker to my impulses.

I'm not a depressed person, nor a naturally sad person, but right now I am going through rough times in my life. It doesn't even begin with myself, though I only blame myself for my addictions. I take full responsibility for them, but when the external forces crumble my brick wall, it's hard to ignore.

Thank you for your concern.

Dee74

I think you know already how to proceed Tyler

You stop drinking - I recommend you see a Dr if you've been drinking regularly, binge drinking or not - and then you find support to help you stay sober.

SR is a great resource and a great community - I promise you...you'll get a lot more out of the place if you visit here before you take that first drink, Tyler

D

coffeespoons

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you get drunk and post vague cries for help on these boards, and wait for responses. My advice to you is to be quiet for a moment - instead of reaching out and asking questions that nobody can answer for you, how about going through other threads and READING the advice that's already here. There is so much knowledge, light, and love on these boards. I suggest you take some time to simply read it, and think about it.

TylerDurden

Correct me if I'm wrong but if I want to be judged, shouldn't I just ask God?

I'm not a religious man and that question was rhetorical because being quiet would defeat my purpose for being here in the first place. If I was quiet I wouldn't have a problem. Obviously you don't understand.

Peter G

There's been a few reasons why I chose not to participate in any more of your threads TD, and it's exactly what seems to be frustrating Coffeespoons. You're just not taking any advice, you come back only sparingly (my guess is while drinking), not to update on any progress - only to rephrase the same assertions. You don't even truly engage in conversation aside from trying to convince us that you can't seem to "get" the whole sober thing.

After posting these vague and ambiguous questions/assertions time and again, you have been counseled by some very well intending and fairly astute people, over and over again. Yet each new thread you author tells us you have been ignoring such advice, not doing much of anything to proactively move beyond your boozing. IMO you're just not listening. I get that. Believe me. But I won't participate in it. I'm only writing this post now in the small hope you can catch what a few of us have been trying to throw at ya all along.

No one is judging you, what you take as judgmental is simply another recovering drunk's educational perspective about the condition you've been on about. Thing is, most of us recovering sorts are fully and wholly aware of your situation, your excuses, as well as your true aspirations. Why? Because we've all been where you are and for the most part have believed, wrongly, exactly what you have convinced yourself is the condition of alcoholism - as it applies to you. As such we're not gonna sit back and play nice with your addictive voice at the expense of your true well being. Like it or not, we care. Of course we don't care for the whinging and moaning when you're abjectly ignoring solutions and suggestions being presented; but we do care about the part of Tyler D who's actually made his way here to figure a way out of the problem of progressing alcoholism.

So how 'bout having at the niceties somewhere else and coming here to actually listen, learn, and experiment how getting sober is done - and done well?

You can certainly take offense to my post as well, I don't mind. I'm here to help and be helped. My walking on egg shells isn't a part of that equation. But if and when you respond to this post, tell me first, have you been to an AA meeting yet? Cuz plenty of folks advised you go. Have you bought and read Rational Recovery yet? Cuz there's been plenty folks who have suggested that also. In fact, aside from coming here and laying down thoughts like "I'm just gonna embrace the booze", or "I can't get sober cuz I'm a special sort of sick", e.t.c... have you done anything since joining to proactively combat your obvious problem with alcohol?

My point is simple. Not many people successfully recovering are unaware or stupid when it comes to addictive behavior, nor the ways from which addicts try and angle their way out of actually doing what needs to be done.

Stop kicking the tires Tyler. Try taking the sober ride for real and come back here to tell us how it's working out - and what worked for you out of the things suggested. Then you might come to find a whole different vibe from some of us judgmental buggers.

BASEjumper

soberlicious

Your addiction is at the wheel and it's not a very good driver. You are not weak. Why would you want to be percieved as such? The victim role doesn't look good on anyone.

No one is judging you. It is your active addiction that makes you defensive, that is closing your eyes and ears to wisdom that is being freely handed to you. It will eventually take your soul...trust me on that one.

Pull up your big boy pants and do something.

davaidavai

I don't think Tyler Durden of fight club was a drunk or that the movie was about being 'normal' during the day and wild and crazy at night. It is about confronting the self, the secret desires and demands of being, the initiation of a process of growth that absolutely cannot take place while drunk. The move is about seeking an extreme experience: fighting, illegal soap manufacture, genuine emotion. Fight Club, at least as I understand it, is about rebelling from the guazy non-existance which for me is finds a perfect symbol in barfly life, hanging out in clubs, empty, boozy, red-faced blather. There is not a lot of drinking in this movie because if there were, the cliche of boozing, hangovers, etc., would impede the narrative of self-confrontation, reevaluation, change, self-discovery. Perhaps you could seek answers by embracing this character, through a second viewing of the film. If much of our impulses initiate on a subconscious level, and if the inner true self can manufacture some sort of spiritual rupture, rupturing the fiber of the everyday (as we learn from fight club), perhaps subconsciously this is why you have chosen this name: because you would rather live a truly intense experience that you cannot get numb. You often hint at your charisma while drunk, how life is better while drunk, which is nice, and perhaps right, but it's not consistant with the Fight Club narrative of change, growth.

soberlicious

Tyler Durden wasn't even real...he was a delusional figment of the main character's mind during a psychotic break.

Great flick...

ForeverDecember

That was a great flick, and I loved Will's guess at the age - I'm 29 now and LOVED that film when I was in school. I love it when he's on the phone and calling Tyler, but there's a sticker saying "This phone does not call out". Blink and you'll miss it!

That film is more about fighting against the drudgery of life than being out of control; single serving friends, ikea living etc. It's about breaking out and doing the abnormal... I don't see how it can be compared to alcoholism, unless, like Dav said, the alcoholic part is the mundane... the mindless living, going about life in a daze.

Neither of the Tyler Durden were a good example of a functioning person, so neither is a good comparison for sobriety, insofar as "Drunk at night, sober by 10". Tyler one - Crazy wanting to build an army to combat commercialism etc, Tyler two - Crazy talking to imaginary people and beating himself up.

Sorry for getting off topic.

OceanSize

great flick. better book.

Tyler is Jack's complete lack of surprise. He is Jack's smirking revenge.

not sure tyler liked the aa meetings either but at least that's where he met marla...


i think about fight club sometimes in meetings, and it only makes me love meetings more.

big chuck p fan here.

if nothing else, this thread is beneficial to the arts.

TylerDurden i really do wish you peace - clearly we all do.

ForeverDecember

OS - I enjoyed the book, but it's one of the very few times when I liked the film more. I think it's because the big "reveal" was more dramatic and "Woaaah..." in the film than on the page.

Plus, I guess the eye-candy didn't hurt...

davaidavai

I think the movie is about a quest. It's about recognizing your life and beginning and oft painful process of evaluation. Although the process can be a great adventure. I don't think you can initiate that process under the influence. At least for me, Alcohol precludes change, growth and radical discovery.

Maybe you discover what it is you like about this movie and you discover your own quest.

mwstylee

Tyler, if you are as interested in Chuck P's study of addiction or identity of "self" as I am, you might also want to read Invisible Monsters. Survivor also has recovery overtones. All are great.

OceanSize

same here but more around drugs, although wine was in there too.

and my last drunk was pathetic and textbook: i walked into a situation purposely telling myself i would not drink.

and yet....


tyler durden is jack's drunken pen.

ive found i am actually more creative while sober, but not if i'm just dry. meditation is changing my life. i've been slacking on it the last few days.