Recovery & Relapse
 

Going a day or two or a week is a struggle but going a full month or a year is a great feat and going beyond that is super human.

But, no matter how far away from the last drink, you're always going to be faced with denying that NEXT drink whether it's 3 weeks of 3 years from now.

It is a constant struggle. Craig Ferguson said it best when he said 12 step programs are horse **** because you made through all steps and then they usher you out the door and congratulate you. That isn't the point though because your whole lifetime is a constant struggle not to relapse and it is so easy to fall back on the drink because anything could trigger it at any time.

Being sober for many, many years is a feat of super human strength and those who have the will power to keep it up; you are super-human.

It's not a constant struggle tho - none of us here are superhuman believe me LOL

I finally accepted that drinking and I are a bad mix - I can have the life I want...or I can drink. Not both.

I really want to be sober - I prefer life this way. '

It's really not a struggle any more and believe it or not, I'm not constantly mentally battling the next drink....

You can get here too joybot :)

D

i agree with Dee. the point comes eventually (hopefully) during recovery where the alcoholic voice becomes for my most part silent. when you are able to pass by the beer section in the grocery store without the thought of drinking even registering in your brain. sure the thought still comes occasionally but it is very more easy to dissmiss the thought once you have had enough time sober and stable. the overpowering urges and the obsession go away.

Dee, depends on who you're asking because to someone who doesn't have the will power, they'll see you as super-human.

Tony Stark is an alcoholic superhero.

Yeah, its not a life long struggle to stay sober. What would be the point of struggling year after year? Sure we have to change and live a sober life, but that becomes less and less a hardship as our lives become less and less soaked in alcoholism.

Looking for that next drink just drops off and eventually stops, and with it all the crap surrounding getting a drunk on.

Of course, it has to be a proper and well lived sober life, with real personal changes into sobriety, otherwise its just a continous struggle against old baggage and that really dosen't work well.

Sobriety can be happy and free of alcoholism.

oh I do remember when I was drinking recovery seemed utterly unattainable to me.
It was like something I really wanted to do but I didn't have the instructions.

I was just trying to suggest it's not as impenetrable as I once thought it was.

I still don't think it's about will power.

Willpowers not much good when you're conflicted about what you want to do, or if you're being controlled by an addiction that defies logic.

Acceptance was far more powerful for me. Accepting that my relationship with alcoholic was toxic and dysfunctional and always would be.

It's also about action, which follows from acceptance. The first step is to stop drinking. The second is to seek support to stay stopped.

Don't let the seeming immenseness of the task stop you. It's a day by day thing - and even superheroes put their tights on one leg at a time :)

I think life's a lot simpler for us than it is in the Marvel Universe anyway. Less super villains for a start ;)

D

anguish and anger
 

My life was a constant struggle when I was drinking. I was filled with unpleasant emotions, anguish and closed in on myself.

I was close to something serious happening.

I am six and a half months sober. There is no struggle. There is peace.

I think it has to do more with acceptance rather than power.

Two years today and I no longer struggle. It's an accepted fact that I don't drink - and I'm not superhuman at all.:) I'm just a human being who got sick and tired of always being sick and tired.:)

Way Awesome Least!!

:day2:a122:

I've never had this experience or known anyone else who did. What I got from AA was incredible support. As people said, "let us love you until you can love yourself." I would never have gotten sober on my own. As important as the Steps is the fellowship of AA. In the beginning I had your experience but after getting comfortable in my own skin I never thought about or noticed booze.

I don't have to be super human, I have a power greater than me who does a better job at keeping me sober.

I don't struggle either, because the obsession has been removed.

When I let go of alcohol with all the thinking and behaviors that go with it, the struggle stops. What I get in return is freedom to live a life without constant struggles centered around using and not using alcohol.

Trust me joybot I am no tower of power when it comes to the will. If I wanted to drink, I'd be drinking.

Robby brings up a great point, struggling year after year to stay sober would be miserable existence. I had to change what I want to want.

If I could have staved off my alcoholism with sheer force of willpower, I never would have had a problem. Life isn't a struggle for me now. I used to drink, now I don't. I got help getting from point a to point b, because my willpower sucked. I love my life now, and I'm gracious for my recovery. Superhuman, no way.. just a girl who admitted defeat, got help, and got recovered.

Not sure what 12 step program Craig Ferguson is referring to? AA is a 12 step program that you never graduate from. When you finish the 12 steps, you do them again.

I've never seen anyone ushered out the door of an AA meeting, or even congratulated for reaching step 12, except by their sponsor, maybe.

Zube

your whole lifetime is a constant struggle not to relapse

Actually, it's not that way for me at all.

IDK Joybot... seems you are laying the foundation for a relapse, some justification, or something... Hell yes it's tough at first, but once recovered it is no longer a daily struggle of will power. Most people who have some time have quit fighting.

It gets easier, really.

Reminds me of a story. I was cast adrift after frequent encounters with grog. In my lifeboat was a lamp, so, in desperation I rubbed it, looking for some way to reach safety. The genie appeared and allowed me just one wish. I told him I was quite sea sick and would appreciate a car and a highway to make my way back to dry land. He became indignant saying that he was powerful but that it was thousands of miles of open ocean to land. Sometimes the water was miles deep and that even he could only do just SO much. I was quite despondent. However, after reflecting for a moment my mind quite naturally turned to alcohol. I thought that if I could just gain enough will power to control my drinking I might be able to enjoy it and not end up in these terrible situations. So I asked him for that will power. His response was
“Two lanes or four?”

You take the steps...Then you live them every day of your life. It's an amazing program for me....I have contented sobriety...No obsession to drink...I don't struggle with it. Will power has nothing to do with it...My will was what kept me drinking for 35 years....Hey...Whatever works for you...However you do it....Doing it is the important part. You just have to get to the point that acohol is not an option....Period.

Although I did recover by sheer force of will, it is as human to recover from addiction as it is to become addicted in the first place.